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The Fuel

And, on George Floyd....and Prince Harry

The George Floyd incident made a mark in my life. As I watched the video of his suffocations, I recalled my own. The time when people oppressed me without education of my hard work and struggles in life, and no compassion for my boundaries.

 

George Floyd and so many others lost their boundaries under the oppression of the knee of the racist officer. George Floyd didn't have time or opportunity to dialogue or argue his point of view. This made me thought of the people who were also racists to me, of all colors and backgrounds and socio-economic status. They used the "model minority" excuse to oppress me. "You're Asian, you must be rich. So you don't need this job and you don't need the support and you don't deserve our services, and you don't deserve love," said a lot of racist female enemies, male enemies, a social worker, two supervisors, Medical representatives, and four politician. Somehow, this became a common story, to a lot of women who experienced violence.

 

The same thing happened to people like George Floyd and this time, the skin color created an enemy based on his darkness, as mine based on my Asian features. It was the same racism, yet I had time and no one pushed against the back of my neck, but I was almost homeless. The George Floyd physical abuse was enough violence and that caused so much outrage stemming from centuries of slavery and racism. It was the extra heat to the anger and the oppression couldn't be held anymore thus the looting and the protests. I understood, but with my family emergency, I couldn't be there to participate with the protests. My family needed me, and so it was.

 

Watching the protests and violence over the internet and on the television was difficult. Truthfully, my opinions and experiences wouldn't have compared. But, I thought of the times when those who were racist to me told me that they deserved "opportunities" and "benefits" or "connections," and I wanted to beat the @*&^  out of them.

 

I thought of the all of the friends I knew now, who worked hard for a living, and were good friends of mine, and were made of diverse backgrounds of high income and low incomes. They didn't oppress others no matter what culture or color of skin, because they acted upon the knowledge and belief that everyone has the right to an opportunity, the right to defend ourselves, and the right to the pursuit of happiness. 

 

No matter what George Floyd did with his situation, he should have been given his physical boundaries, his right to an attorney (opportunity), or at least, be read his Miranda Rights. His incident was so blatant and violent, that it was disturbing. Personally, I grew up not liking the police, because in Southern California, there were plenty of gang violence and the police were involved all the time, that I associated police not with protection, but with violence.

 

I realized since I was young that the law was often done to defend the rich, and oppress the poor. That was so difficult to have to watch again this time in the United States, not in my mother country, Indonesia. The George Floyd incident made me cry because it was evidence blatant as an eye-sore, that a lot of white people and now police officers, grew up with certain prejudices that caused murders in the year 2020. George Floyd was just one out of many, and the abuses and racism I felt in 2001 were systematic, and caused me mental anguish. Both were caused by centuries of racism. 

 

I won't be able to solve racism but I do believe in the power of one.

 

Not a lot of people would know, but I subscribed to Entertainment Weekly, and I loved television. I also love Princess Diana and her children. When Prince Harry struggled to find love, I would send him pictures of Meghan Markle, and now, Duchess of Sussex, because I saw her picture on EW, and I wrote letters to Prince Harry, that I think he should give it a try. It might not be important to other people, but I cared for Prince Harry and his family, and I did it. It was a loving gesture from me, to Princess Diana's son. Prince Harry, turns out, had a friend who knew Meghan Markle, and I believed my letters helped at some capacity, although one wouldn't know for sure. I was probably amongst many who sent him letters. But, I was enchanted when I saw them at the tennis court at Wimbledon (or was it the U.S. Open), and she wore his shirt. I actually remembered the day when I wrote to the Prince, that he should pull this move with her. "Ask her to wear your shirt in public, and it will be blessing," I wrote to him. It worked! I HAD NO IDEA! But, I DID IT!

 

I'm not claiming victory over their marriage, but I wrote letters of support to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex during the scrutiny from the world. I was probably some of the daring crazies who wrote letters to Clarence House telling them to tell the public to go to hell. 

 

Now, what does George Floyd and the marriage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have in common? One was a sign of old belief, and the latter, beautiful future. We should always look toward a future of love, no matter what race we are. One day, George Floyd will be a signature of how destructive racism have come and how Black Lives Matter should be a mantra for equality. But, one thing was for sure, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex now has a son, and perhaps more, and just maybe, love like theirs will be more prominent than police brutality.

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Living and writing

The Coronavirus pandemic has been raging and now still raging. There were protests from the George Floyd and Black Lives Matter incident and it became a movement across the world. I tried to write but with my family emergency, things went hectic rapidly. Had to live, and so I have things to write. Didn't divulge into my thoughts, because I saved them for now.

 

Sometimes as I wrote my thoughts down on paper or on screen, I often became oblivious to reality because my writing was and always will be an escape and entertainment. However, I realized that living has writing all over it. Might not be on paper, but on our memories and our minds, and I had to stop writing for a smidge to live to continue to write.

 

It will continue to be a cycle and it will produce fruitful labors.

 

I LOVE LIVING. I LOVE WRITING.

 

Just Write.

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