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The Fuel

Growing while writing

We often cannot find the good in some of the things we have in life, such as living in times of the Coronavirus. There have been so many deaths and so many families shattered from the infectious disease. I for one, cannot seem to find anything good about this time. Yet, I am continuing to grow.


I am writing down some of the things that I can do once the self-quarantine lockdown is over. I am growing wiser and more grateful of the things I often don't appreciate. While writing, I can feel my heart becoming larger and having more capacity to live. Sometimes I don't know what to say to those who experienced first hand of the virus and its atrocities, but I know I can empathize simply by remembering the times when I lost someone dear or recalling the time when I was so sick that all I can do was cry.


I know the suffering is grave, and it is evidentially so. I wish I can change things, but this self-quarantine makes me realize that somethings can't be changed and I have to live with it. It is just the way it is. I have to keep living, because it is the only way justice will uphold from the viral infections. The world has to take its precaution and appreciate life more and more after this global pandemic is over. We as a society have to learn to appreciate each other, even when things are tough.


I wonder if the children of tomorrow who are born during this time will have to live through another global pandemic. All I want to do is write about it to tell them what blossoms from my thoughts and heart as a dedication to the children of the future, so they will live through life beautifully and appreciate their lives thoroughly. I can't seem to put too much into words right now, but this blog is one way of reflecting and I am not ashamed of my own thoughts. It is freedom of expression and the freedom to write, even in the times of the coronavirus.


Just write.



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Revitalizing through P.L. Tavers

As I practice self-quarantine at home, I picked up P.L. Tavers's Mary Poppins. It revitalized me.


Her writing has a lesson and learning tool attached to it, from the dialogues, attitudes and the voice. The story was meant to be entertaining and this urban fantasy classic was so dear to my heart. 


Her writing gave me a way to reflect on my own craft, of how I attached attitude and voice to create a memorable character for my stories. Both as an entertainment and as a tool for children to relate back into their lives, Mary Poppins gave us a disciplinarian in a book, and fun in a story. Mary Poppin's attitude revitalized my self-quarantine life at this moment, and it was fun.


From now on, I will learn to attach not just voice to our palate but attitude to the character. Not just for kicks, but for children to see the characters come alive. 


P.L.Tavers has always been one of my favorites, and she will remain to be one of my greatest teachers.


Just Write.


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Empathizing and learning

As I feel the solitude from self-quarantine, I can't help but to pick up a book. This time, Andy Mulligan's Trash, written in a first person multiple points of views. I remind myself that it is not as bad as it seems, the situation the world is in. But, I know it is worse than I believe for the children across the world who are impoverished. 


When I start to think of the children in Behala, where the story is set, I know there is a lot more suffering in the world than just Coronavirus. Written works helps me to empathize and builds up my knowledge, and even reaches out with compassion to me. 


The children in this book never show self-pity, but they show their suffering through their actions and thoughts. I lean on the understanding of Mulligan's subject matter to empathize and learn. I am enlightened by it.


Maybe, I should write not to educate or spread knowledge or attempt to preach to children. From now on, I shall show through the actions of my characters of the things they go through, of what someone in the other side of the world feels, just as Rat went through in Mulligan's exceptional work, Trash. From now on, I will write for pleasure and to show stories of beautiful things, without motive. Perhaps someone will relate and someone who will read my writing will empathize with me.


I will just write to reach out towards compassion and as a gesture of kindness, and thus, empathizing with those who understand my characters in my writings. I think I will, from now on.


Just tell stories. Just write.


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An Education

Coming through a week full of Coronavirus fears made me anxious. But, in the middle of Tuesday last week, I attended Peter Reynolds's talk on his new picture book, Be You. It was an education.


His theory of how everyone was an author of life, made me realize that my writing made me an author. Perhaps I was grandiose in dreams, but no one could stop me. 


In Be You, I was educated. Peter Reynolds's writing educated me.


I was born to be so many things, yet, I became who I have been thus far, and it was okay.


Writing taught me so many things, and it never stopped teaching. I found new things to be thankful for, from my own writing, as well as others. 


From Peter's book, I realized that he was my kindred spirit, and my adventurous side soared with us. I was not afraid to live a big life, inside my book, and slowly but surely in reality, too. I was always reserved, but with my writing, my voice and resilience showed. It taught me to Be Me.


Just Write.



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Writing my confessions

Secretly, I love the travel time. The talking to strangers inside the plane, the drive to the destinations, the scenery and the drawn out rides. It gives me time to think about what ideas can come. 


Secretly, I love writing them out. To understand myself, and my attributes. Writing out my secrets heals me. It may even become a story. It is a form of exhale from the overwhelming fears inside, that someone might find out. Instead, I write them out and let the heavens know. 


Secretly, I loathe politics and I hate every inch of writing about them. I seldom read about politics, yet it shapes so many of us. It eats me alive at times because of the secrecy behind it. Secrets being secretive, in the walls of politics.


I don't write my secrets out to let the world know, but I do write them out to change stories of what tragedies may come. Sometimes I see a human being with a life less desireable, and I secretly write about them, changing their lives and their futures. Perhaps, there is justice on their behalf. 


Secretly, I write because I need the help in writing. That's the truth.


Just write.

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