icon caret-left icon caret-right instagram pinterest linkedin facebook twitter goodreads question-circle facebook circle twitter circle linkedin circle instagram circle goodreads circle pinterest circle

The Fuel

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 40 & Colin's Epilogue - The End.

Chapter 40 - Ichabod

 

"Bitches be bitchin! Let's get that over with. We all know what's the real problem. They all just want a piece of Merrick and his money for stability so they all can go shopping," said Cliff.

 

I arrived a little early and the men from the fraternity were talking in their living room of the fraternity house. 

 

"Hey, I heard about the Blow Out," I said. "Freshmen, but Sophomore on credits."

 

"Yeah, you want the drinks, that's all, it's all there in the kitchen," said one of the other fraternity men.

 

"Merrick," he said, introducing himself to me. "Pledge Father. You can call me Big Poppa."

 

"Is that a Notorious B.I.G reference from the 90s?" I asked, smirking. I was the first one to arrive and Sunjit will come alone and so will Shane and Fanny. Office Fineman placed the bugs on us earlier and we were all tapped. The van and the policemen and their teams are several miles away. Some are nearby about three miles or so and wearing street clothes for incognito.

 

"Yeah, bro. You like him, yeah?" Merrick asked. "You know all the girls want the Big Man on Campus. That's me."

 

"I'm impressed. I'm am here for the beer," I said. Merrick pointed to the kitchen where there was another pledge brother playing bartender.  

 

"You spill you lick off the floor," he said to me. I nodded.

 

I heard Merrick talking about to the pledges.

 

"Basically, I'm the Raja here...okay. I'm where the honey's at. The chicks want a good man with money and this cream delicious with this bod," Merrick said, as he flexed his muscles. "Black bitches would kill to have me. So will Latinas. And you know Asian chicks will put out and pay out for this baby!"

 

Everyone laughed, and they all drank some of their beer. 

 

"Do you get more blows tho?" asked a brother. He laughed it out and said, "You know Merrick gets more blows from all kinds of bitches, but what would they do to do it?"

 

"I shave, okay. That's how much I get it," said Merrick. "It's all rank but they love this piece of meat."

 

"Besides, Black women will shoot out pellets guns on Asians anyday to get to me," said another brother. "That's just a regular white guy, and not Merrick."

 

"You a fine black man, Cliff. You know all the girls dig you, even Asian ones," said Merrick. "The common denominator is being fine. Being able bodied, being rich, and being handsome with a good body. We are the epitome of a good-looking man with advantages in life and with a lot of assets. Pretty much, all the fine bitches will crawl to get here."

 

"Black and Latinas and Asians and White, all of them want me. They would kill each other for a good man, we all know what it is....it's all genetics, boys. Natural Selection. We are the fucking prime authority!" said Cliff. 

 

"So I heard your sis kicked some bitch's ass to get Colin," I said. 

 

Merrick looked to me, and asked, "Where did you hear that from?"

 

"Rumors. Colin's miserable," I said, making things up.

 

I actually have no idea what happened to Colin and Melody. I knew they were now a couple and at this moment, having a prom date. Angelina is at home, and I told her to lay low with Sam as I'm here with the guys and Fanny, straightening things out.

 

"Colin's had an eye for my sister for a long time," said Merrick. "Angel was in the way. How did you know his ex was Asian?"

 

"She's a whore. Everyone's had her," I said. "Everyone had a few jobs from her. They all said she's easy and cheap. Cheap and a lot, that's the motto for getting her in bed."

 

Merrick and the guys laughed as Merrick laughed so loudly that he coughed and fell to the ground. "Oh man, I knew she was cheap. Her Dad was a chef at China 2000."

 

"Well, she went General Tso on my body, baby," said Cliff. Cliff accidently blurted out not realizing I was tapped. 

 

"Tiny pussy," said Merrick and Cliff. "Love me long time, mister."

 

"That's confirmed, for sure," I said, as I stood in the outer circles. 

 

"What's your name, son?" asked Merrick. "Are we pledging? Rush is come and gone, but you're always welcome to be a slave first for the neophytes and we can talk next semester how you can do a walk-in."

 

"Oh, I see, I like that," I said. "I'm going to just sit here and listen. I'm really honored to be here. I'm just a peon."

 

"Yes, you are," said one of the brothers. "You're below us right now."

 

 

 

"I'm Jewish. I know some history," I said.

 

"Oh shit!" said Cliff. He hurried to get off the couch and stood next to Merrick.

 

"Don't worry. I'm just kidding. I'm German," I said. "I just look Jewish to scare people off."

 

"Oh man, you got me there for a minute," said Merrick. "We usually don't get Jewish pledges here. We're not sure they'd fit in."

 

"Oh, I apologize, I won't say anything anymore. I was just patriotic is all, practicing my rights," I said. "Make America Great Again. Sorry,... again."

 

I drank the rest of my White Claw then turned around and noticed Shane was here.

 

Shane was the second to arrive and he wore his hair in dredlocks. He had highlights to accentuate his hazel eyes, and his dark brown tone. 

 

"Fine brother at the door," said Cliff. "I can smell my kind."

 

"I see," I said and saw Shane and stood to the side.

 

"Hey bro, you a freshman?" asked Cliff. "Model?"

 

"Yeah, Elite," said Shane. "I'm a part of a tribe with them. Down in Denver."

 

"Come and drink, kid," said Merrick. "See brothers? Good looks always get you some drinks and then some. Asian women eat that shit up. They like fat wallets and tight abs and status. Blondes, brunettes. and all the Black ladies will kill other women who are competitions and we all know Latinas. Fraternity men are the best."

 

"Let's talk numbers," said Shane. "How many women you talking about, bro? Double digits? Triple?"

 

"Still double. We don't go just go to triple without some status, although..." said Merrick.

 

"Aaaahhhh.....Merrick knows he's got some," said Cliff. 

 

Two more brothers arrive and they looked Asian.

 

"Hey, Eric and Tim, you two look like twins," said Cliff. "You staying?"

 

"We just got here," Eric said. "Upstairs had some complications."

 

"There were some broad who wants to use the bathroom," said Tim. "She's fat."

 

Shane and I walked towards upstairs and saw Fanny waving at us.  She pointed to Eric and Tim and closed her mouth.

 

"You get them next, Fanny," said Shane. 

 

Fanny gestured a thumbs up and walked inside the bathroom.

 

Merrick was still talking and boasting about how many women he had sex with and how he had back pains once during an encounter.

 

"You know Latinas...they'll get their gang brothers after a girl just to get a good-looking man with money," said Merrick.

 

"I got stalked once and she almost killed another one of my ex-girlfriend because she was talking too loud at the nail salon," said Tim.  "My ex told her pedicurist that I owned the supermarket, and the Latina stole my girl's cell phone and stalked her until my ex got into an accident. It was all because I was half-white and Asian and fine as filet mignon."

 

"Tim, Tim, Tim, you know you shouldn't have dated low class Asians. They talk...too much," said Merrick.

 

"What about you, Merrick?" said Cliff. "You had all kinds of girls. Any of them caused problems?"

 

"Nah....they all shut their mouths because they know they'll get a whip if they don't. Basically, I'll sue them if they talked," said Merrick.

 

"What about any Asian girls? or Latinas or Black? We all know you've dated white girls," said a brother.

 

"Minorities. That's what I call all of them. Dating minorities is a craft, man. Especially Asians. You gotta be smooth. They want to put out if you pay. But I think, let them pay the dates and put out for you to treat you like a king. They've gotta prove you're their prime attention from the heart. That's the way to do that," said Merrick. "Latinas and Black women are the best though...they just put out no questions asked. They'd kill Asians to get you. They all want a piece of me."

 

"Because you're white?" I asked.

 

"Not just that, but because I'm rich and good looking and my status is high. I'm some serious investment to them. I'm up here," said Merrick, holding his palms sideway toward his heart and over his head, showing the high level with his hand. "Girls in America want to marry white men, and basically fine men in all colors. They all want to marry good men with high status because they're tired of those disrespecting men, black killing black, latinos in gangs...they're tired of them. They want civilized and good looking and gorgeous inside and out. Like me. This whiteness."

 

"You're just a gift to mankind, Merrick," said Cliff. "I'm listening to you all the time. Bro, I'm doing anything you tell me to do."

 

"You know what Cliff....slavery is a bitch isn't? It just brings down an entire race and it gives so much drama to the next generations, as if they lived it. It's actually their ancestors that brought them down," said Merrick. "It's a shame, bro. You're no slave, bro. You're a model, look at you. Black and gorgeous. You're my blood brother."

 

"I want to be a blood brother," said Shane. I stood to the side and walked upstairs and heard from the corner of room, Merrick telling Shane that he's an Orion Star and although his ancestors were slaves, he was a freed man and being the fraternity will free him even more and give him more status. More security and following Merrick and his ways will give him benefits, such as women, Asian women, Gorgeous Black women, curvaceous Latinas and other model looking women with money and connections.

 

"Basically, just do what Merrick wants, bro. Trust me," said Cliff. "He will show you the world, bro."

 

"I believe it," said Shane. As he shook hands with Merrick, and I walked upstairs where Fanny was in the bathroom.

 

"Fanny, what are you doing?" I asked.

 

"I'm not sure if they're gay but they were here in the bathroom for a long time," said Fanny. "I'm going to strip for them."

 

"Okay. You have underwear for that or a swimsuit?" I asked. I wasn't sure how she will control herself because she looked drunk already. 

 

"I got here and asked to use the bathroom, but I took some shots, so I'm a little giggly," said Fanny. "I'm just going to pull Eric and Tim into the upstairs bedroom and get them so drunk that they'll confess. I'll massage their feet and their back and do all kinds of acupressure and feed them vodka."

 

"Oh....Sounds .....I'm not sure, but I'm just going to pretend everything is okay," I said, breathing loudly and having a small panic-attack. "You don't think they'll attack you would they?"

 

"Nah....I think they're some kind of rich kids from Southern California," said Fanny. "They sounded tame."

 

"But they all can be assholes, Fanny," I said. 

 

"It's okay....I'll give them some of my gummi bears from the dispensary," said Fanny. "I asked my older brother to get me some for tonight." Fanny took out her small purse and showed me some packets of marijuana laced gummi bears. "This will make them relax and I can get them to tell the truth. I know they must be involved somehow."

 

"There are a lot of brothers downstairs. About ten or so, but Cliff and Merrick are the center of the crowd, so there won't be a problem getting them drunk. They'll all be drunk by the end of the night," I said. "Can I have some gummi bears? For Merrick and Cliff."

 

A call came into my cell phone and it was officer Fineman. "Get some statements and probable cause for concern and we can go in. Fanny, to get some confession, and Shane to get a confirmation. We need four men to confirm that it was a legal crime and set up. We got yours, Ike, they already labelled her.  Ursula's report came in today. Angelina brought her."

 

"Good," I said. "I'm not sure if I'd be able to do this so quickly, but I'm going to try."

 

I heard in the other room, Merrick and Cliff role playing two girls in competition for the same guy. 

 

"Black girls would shoot out Asian women anyday with pellet guns," said Merrick. 

 

"Or what's better, they'd ask another brother to drug them and get some rape on," said Cliff. 

 

Merrick and Cliff laughed it off, and told the crowd, "It's all natural selection. They wall want to get pregnant. They want to get some Halle Berry or Lisa Bonet babies or some Hapa kids, so they'd beat each other and kill each other, and get their black men to rape Asian women and vice versa. It's all bullshit!" 

 

"But you'd never do that, right?" said Shane.

 

"Right!!!!" said Cliff and Merrick as they both laughed. "We won, bros!" They both punched each other in the stomach and laughed and told each other, "Love me long time!"

 

"Asian girls are the best. They play it so cool like they study and everything, but they're all sluts. At least Black girls just blow and put out more. They'd be willing to get pregnant, like Latinas! They all just want to be a wife, but they gotta pay the price for that voting rights and representation," said Merrick and Cliff, laughing. "No matter, what...white men and black men and latino men won....the men won! Women are all so stupid!"

 

"They're willing to rape and kill and stalk and sabotage to get to me, and Cliff," said Merrick. "You know black girls and white girls will shoot pellet guns to Asian girls. Especially if they have a dowry. Then, they'd get the Latinas to get their Mexican gangster brothers to steal those dowries from their humble apartments to give them to me!" Cliff nodded.

 

"ASIANS ARE LOSERS! Supposedly they got the highest income rate....that's because it's all a political agenda to shut them down and to keep them happy so they won't say shit!" said Cliff. "It's all about black and white and if there is room, some mexicans, but no Asians...I hate Chinese Dolls!"

 

"Wait...you all had sex with the same girl or something? Sounds like you know the same things...," asked Shane, fishing for some controversy.

 

"What?" said Merrick. 

 

"What do you mean about that?" said Cliff.

 

"Just asking," said Shane.

 

"We did once....she's a beauty. Right Cliff," said Merrick.

 

"Oh yeah...a Chinese Puppet," said Cliff. He then laughed it off. 

 

I came back with some gummi bears, and gave a bag to Merrick and Cliff.

 

"Awww...we're friends," said Merrick. Cliff ripped open the bag and took some out, and gave some to Merrick.

 

My eyes were red and moist, because Shane almost cried. Shane was African American but he's never seen another African American being extremely racist with a racist white man. I thought the whole world was kind and everyone got along somehow, but never saw this much blatant racism before.

 

Tim and Eric both walked upstairs again, and they looked tired. They were about to go into one of the rooms, when Fanny walked in to the same room. I stood outside and waited in line for the bathroom along with some other college kids who were trickling in to the Blow Out party. I stood near Fanny.

 

"Hey cuties," said Fanny in the hallway to Tim and Eric.

 

"Hey fatso," said Tim. Eric just laughed and punched Tim on his upper arm.

 

"I want to play massage therapist. Wanna give me some of your fine bodies for practice?" said Fanny. "I'll do all the pressure points."

 

"Seriously?" said Eric. "I love massages."

 

"Yes, no charge...just because I can have you for a few hours, means the world to me," said Fanny. "Fine looking piece of art work brothers. You're both so gorgeous. My friend, here will join us to help out." Fanny pointed to me.

 

"We know we're gorgeous. Okay...no problem about your friend. He's kinda cute, in a dark and curly haired sort of way," as Tim replied as Tim and Eric looked at each other. "Let's do it in my room," said Tim.

 

"No...my room," said Eric. "It's got a sofa and carpeting."

 

"Ooohhh...I like carpeting. We can get silly on the floor," said Fanny.

 

"You're fat but so cute," said Tim. Eric giggled.

 

They walked into the room and I followed, pushing in the bugs hoping it won't fall off. Fanny has one bug but it's most likely strapped on her with her swimsuit.

 

"So how do you get to be so fine," said Fanny. "Do you play tennis?"

 

"It's all gym hours...you just gotta put in the time," said Eric. "It's no carbs and all vegan, proteins, fruits...the original good stuff and I'm so sorry you're fat, girl. No one ever taught you how to eat?"

 

"I'm fat because my Dad cooks good grub, boys. I can't resist," said Fanny.

 

"Oh, that's different. You're just a glutton," said Tim. "It's poor self-control."

 

I could tell Fanny almost burst out laughing because she felt that her size was an advantage and she knew she wasn't lesser than others. Fanny was a stallion in the self-confidence department. She knew herself and she knew she could do anything she put her mind to. "I'm Vietnamese, what are you guys?" asked Fanny.

 

"Chinese," said Tim. 

 

"Korean," said Eric.

 

"Gorgeous Asian men," said Fanny.

 

"Strong groups of men," I said.

 

"Basically, we're the rich upper class Asians, other people want to become," said Tim. "They wish...."

 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

 

"What do all men want?" asked Tim. Eric smirked.

 

"Control," said Fanny. "And riches."

 

"Exactly. We got that...we got the upper hand with Merrick on our side. If we didn't, we'd be the outcast and we'd be the minority, just another Chinese and Korean, right. But, with Merrick and Cliff on my side. We're fucking unstoppable," said Eric.

 

"Do you do everything Merrick wants?" I asked. "What if it's a crime?"

 

"What's a crime if it's just a mistake?" said Tim. "Everything is forgiveable. Even God is on Merrick's side."

 

Eric opened the door to his room and let us all in. There was a nice bed with a flat screen across from it, two bedsides table and a desk with an Apple computer and small speakers. There was a golden frog to his bedside with a coin on its mouth.

 

Fanny's eyes gaped open because the trimmings of his bedroom had pictures of Absolut Vodkas in different advertisements and paintings of Monet and another impressionist on the wall. The place looked regal.

 

"Let's do a stupa stance first...just sit on the floor and breathe in an out and take off your shirts," said Fanny. She took out her back pack and took out some of her essential oils and Tiger Balms and some Biofreeze and her gummi bears. "These will relax you and it will help. Trust me, I've worked at a massage parlor before. My Dad owns one," said Fanny. 

 

"You're used to this women treating men like kings sort of shit, eh Fanny," said Tim. "That's how it is supposed to be. We're dominant and women and lesser than men. That's the Asian way. Subservient women gets the juice. If they're too strong, they might as well divorce me."

 

"Yes, master," said Fanny. Her eyes moistened and her cheeks were red.

 

"What should I do, Fanny," I asked.

 

"Massage Eric starting with the shoulders and his head first," said Fanny.

 

"Eric, have some gummi bears and smell these," said Fanny, giving him some Frankinscense and Eucalyptus Oils.

 

"Aaaahhhh......wonderful," said Eric. Tim and Eric were without their shirts and laying on the floor face down. 

 

Fanny took off their jeans, and they were in their boxers. "First, I'll massage your heads and their shoulders, then legs and torso and we do a whole body relaxation," said Fanny. "Then I'll strip and you can watch, boys."

 

I was about to laugh, but it was hilarious watching Fanny took control of these men when they both were boasting control and power and riches to her. 

 

"Tell me...how did you get so poor, Fanny," said Tim. "Did you do something illegal?"

 

"No...just an immigrant," Fanny said. 

 

"Me too, I'm an immigrant, too," I said to them.

 

"Oh...you're still on the bottom level. It's okay, start low, and you can get higher later," said Tim.  "We're born into money and we're basically set and no matter what we do....we're covered. Fanny, you should be thankful I'm letting you massage me."

 

"You should date black men, only, the ones in a gang, and be one of their bitches and represent the Asians who love Black people," said Tim. "That's what poor immigrants are good for. Push them out to the Black and Brown community."

 

"Yes, mister," said Fanny. Her bugs buzzed and I got a text from Officer Fineman.

 

"Pricks!" texted Officer Fineman. "Give them muscle cramps and twist them on the floor so they won't move. I want to arrest those pricks!"

 

"I have some muscle relaxers and have some more gummi bears," I said to Tim, giving him five more and Eric the same. I tore another bag open and Fanny began to question them.

 

"So control....what do you want in a woman?" asked Fanny. "So I'd know what to do."

 

"For her to shut up, first of all. Let us be the men, and hopefully their good cooks and good in bed. If they're too strong, we don't want them," said Eric. "We want someone who'd listen to us. Someone who'd sweep the floor, and we make the money, and they just shut up and do the work and get pregnant."

 

"I see...I like that....conservative but fair," I said, rolling my eyes. I had no idea these men still view women these ways. It was so archaic and so un-civilized.

 

"You know...especially if she's poor, she shouldn't do anything but just clean house. If she gets married...poor girls don't get the juice. They're slaves. They end up raped or work at Target," said Eric. "They're sad really...they'll be alone all of their lives."

 

"Why so?" I asked. "What do you mean by poor and what kinds of girls do you like."

 

Fanny massaged Tim's head and his face looked relaxed as he kept chewing on gummi bears. They were both very relaxed and happy and Tim continued to breathe in and out.

 

"What kinds of women do you date?" asked Fanny.

 

"All kinds, but mostly Asians. Rich ones, only. Nice families and the poor ones, we don't want. They got issues, and we all know they need therapy. They need to work first," said Tim. 

 

"They all have their own salvation," said Eric. "It's so ugly to befriend an ugly and poor girl, she's gotta be a nuisance."

 

"How so?" I asked. 

 

"They grovel and want acceptance and they start asking you out and shit. They have no self confidence. But, I like the girls who pay for everything. Those girls are winners. Or the kinds who pay half....love them. They got some money. But ultimately, we want them to shut the hell up and just clean the floor," said Eric. "A lot of girls have something to prove now...all them bitches are just bitchin about other  bitches. It's tiring. They all want me, so they fight to get there."

 

"So there is this Chinese girl, we had, and Merrrick loved her. Angel. She's pretty but poor as dirt," said Tim. "You know she's got no future."

 

"What do you mean?" Fanny asked. "You can work to get to where you want to be."

 

"She's got no hope. She's Indonesian or some hell hole place like that. She's from a small island, like those Burma, Laos, Nepal and all those irrelevant places. So, she was going out with a rich white guy..and you know those girls are sell outs. They want half breed kids, but they have no money to afford the status so they won't get white men. She's a victim," said Tim. "I saw it a mile away. They belong with some guy from Compton, and the blackest man and the ugliest Mexican there is."

 

"What do you think she should do?" I asked.

 

"Just work at a smoothie place, get a dead-end job or something. You know she won't be cultured enough and smart enough to get anywhere," said Tim. "She got raped...that's all I'm saying. Those girls, they need to pushed out, before they become competition to natives and American born boys and girls like me."

 

"Because she was an immigrant and poor?" I asked. "So you're saying she needed to get pushed out because she's from some irrelevant place?"

 

"Because she's pretty and poor, and she became competition because of the rich guy she's dating," said Eric. "We eliminated that bitch. Merrick has to win. He's first priority. Plus, she's an immigrant. So natives comes first. She's good as dead."

 

"Oh, she's raped now, by whom?" I asked. 

 

"Not telling, but I heard she's a good lay," said Tim. Eric and Tim high fived. 

 

Fanny started running the middle of Tim's calves and softly placing another gummi bears into his mouth.

 

"I liked her, she was soft," said Tim. "She's got a nice body."

 

"Cheerleader and cute, too," said Eric. "She's got creamy skin." 

 

"But, poor and an immigrant," I said. 

 

"Poor soul," said Fanny, as she kept rubbing the middle of Tim's calves. 

 

"You know she needed to be dead. She might become a threat to me and Eric, and other Asian American born girls. She was a threat to Merrick and his sister. So the bitch is out," said Tim.

 

"How did she get eliminated?" said Fanny.

 

"Not saying, but let's just say she's going nowhere," said Eric. "Probably be some maid of some shit like that."

 

"I don't approve of her being the wife of a rich white guy," said Tim. "I'm fucking jelly belly on her ass."

 

"I hear ya," said Fanny.

 

"I don't want her to see the Hamptons, Cape Cod, New York and live in Manhattan and eat at fancy restaurants," said Tim. "I don't want to see her live near an ocean, and let's just say, The Hamptons and Long Island has no Asians there. I'm going to be the first Asian there and Eric is coming with me."

 

"Right?! I'm for ya, Tim. I hate that Indonesian bitch," said Eric. "I hate seeing her with Colin. He's too pretty for her. She's a rude ass bitch. She should ask for permission to date anyone, Period."

 

Fanny's eyes swooped down as she knew how difficult it was for her to meet any guy, let alone, a good man, or any race. She could throw some flirty comments to Shane, but because of this, I was not sure if Fanny wanted to date at all anymore. I was happy Angelina met us, and knew that kids in high school didn't think the way these fraternity men thought.

 

"First of all, it has to be both ways. It has to be profitable for the man and the women. If she's poor, she can't do nothing for you. You just live on love? What bullshit is that?" said Tim.

 

"Right? And then if you don't have education, like those homeless people, and homeless kids, they got to benefits to be with. They're nothing," said Eric.

 

"Merrick and Cliff was right. It's white first, then black, then latinos, and we come last unless we pave our way into the system. We gotta play with their games," said Tim. "That's how you get the juice."

 

"That Angelina of what ever the fuck her name is...that Indonesian bitch, she's gone, man," said Eric. "She tried to get ahead and do some kind of get rich quick sort of thing by dating a gorgeous white guy and the owner of a franchise for goodness sakes. What was she thinking? She knows she's gotta give that shit to the white people and black people first."

 

"Right?" said Tim. "See, Fanny, we're the Asians who will make it to the top. We play with the white man and we are good to the black man, and we help the Latinos and the community. I'm so happy that Indonesian bitch is gone. She's a fucking sacrifice."

 

I pulled some hairs out of Eric's head as he screamed. "What the hell? Why did you pluck out my hair?" said Eric. 

 

"Some white ones...sorry. You'd want it out, if you saw it," I said.

 

My cell p hone buzzed, and it was Office Fineman, as he texted, "Get them to say her whole name, and where they saw her."

 

"What's the name of the Chinese-Indonesian bitch you both are talking about?" I asked.

 

"Angelina Lee," said Eric. "She was at Merrick's party."

 

"Confirm that," said Fanny.

 

"I have to go downstairs," I said, suddenly and walked out the door to take a breath. "Hypocrites assholes."

 

Down at the living room, there were more people as more college kids arrived, and Merrick and Cliff moved to the backyard. I walked towards them, and saw Shane at the doorway.

 

"Be careful, they're talking about priorities," said Shane. "They're saying white gets white and black gets black and latinos gets latinos and so on. The only ones who can marry inter-racially are the rick people and the people with good backgrounds with money. Other wise, white people and other races shouldn't do out with them."

 

"Wow...they got that down to a system?" I said.

 

"So men," said Merrick as I walked next to Shane and stood to the back of Merrick with Cliff on his stool sipping more beer. "United States in the Super power of the world. We gotta keep that shit up! White people are the most powerful people in the world, and now with Black people who rose to the top, like Sean John, and all those assholes, Black people are the next powerful people, and then we will give way to Latinos, and Asians comes last, because in America, they got the healthcare and the computer shit. Let them work for us. The rest of the people like those Indonesian bitches, Burmese, Nepalese..and the others, they're irrelevant. They gotta work first. They did nothing for the Civil War, or the Korean War, or the Vietnam War, and if they're immigrants, they know damn well they're not joining the military. They're fucking cowards. You know they don't want to marry everyone, they just want white, and we won't give them that. Push them out. Push them out till they are no more, and that's by any means necessary," said Merrick.

 

Cliff nodded, and he added, "First let the bitches prove by letting them put out for black men first. If they don't wnat to sleep with black men or latinos, we take their right, and give them a little something to help them out."

 

"Confirm that," said Shane.

 

From the background, I heard Fanny with Tim and Eric dancing on the dining table as Tim and Eric were obviously so high from the gummi bears, and they were drinking beers and Eric was slapping his own butt in circles.

 

"It's all high altitude in this house!" said Fanny. "Get high, y'all!"

 

Officer Fineman and his team in street clothes entered the house, and they had tazer guns on them, and quickly swept the floor and moved everyone out of the house. Outside, there were several buses and they took the party goers into the bus to clean the house.

 

Fanny held on to Eric and Tim, and kissed Tim, and told him, "I know...you want all Asian girls to sleep around and give everyone some to further your political agenda, right? Sounds like bullshit to me. I know my place in this world. And you're under arrest." She pushed Tim down from the table and Eric was handcuffed by one of the Boulder and Larimer County Policeman.

 

Outside, Office Fineman stood behind me, and overheard Merrick said to his whole audience of men, "We gotta make sure every Asian girl gives some blows to everyone. Make them sleep around and put them down, they're a fucking threat, and make sure Black women become their enemies and don't forget to use our Latinas to get their violence on them to make sure they won't take our American Assets. Us, rich white men, and rich black men and rich latinos need to stick together. We have to control this country, and I've got my hands and feet dipped with the Asians, don't worry, we can control chinks."

 

"Son, we have a positive count of at least one sexual assault under your name and an investigation on this second serial rape with multiple suspects. We are taking you in, and if you resist, we will be forced to take you under our hands," said Officer Fineman. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you don't have one, one will be appointed for you..."

 

Merrick and Cliff tried to resist, but Shane and I caught the tazer guns and tazed them, and they convulsed and the other brother stood back and remained silent. 

 

"If you are a part of this fraternity, you will be questioned by the attorney and summoned for a subpeona for further investigation," said Officer Fineman. The other police man handcuffed Merrick and Clif, and took Tim and Eric in two separate police vehicles. 

 

I immediately went outside and vomited on the grass.

 

Fanny ran outside and sobbed and Shane hugged her. "Don't worry," said Shane. "Our future is bright. People will change."

 

***

 

The next day, Angelina and I went to The Peak Lounge in Denver, at an exclusive restaurant on the top floor of a fancy hotel with a view of the city from atop the sky-rise. Our view was all sky with our table facing the Mile High city at the rooftop level. 

        

After dinner, this will be the first time we will have our first taste of rum chocolate cake with mint ice cream. The rum sweetened the sensation of romance holding us together tonight.

        

"So how do you feel about Collin now, are you still into him?" I asked, taking a small bite of the rum chocolate cake.

        

"Not really, but I still feel not good enough for relationships. Sometimes I still wonder what it is that I can offer, with so much baggage now, at so young," said Angelina. "I am just scared that I won't be able to make you feel lucky to be with me."

        

"I feel lucky to be with you," I told her, as I looked into her eyes. "Angel, it's really not about being a certain status or having certain skills or qualifications. I'm just into you, Angel. And I don't care about the violence. To me, you're just beautiful."

        

"Thank you, Ike," she answered. Her eyes told me, "I feel lucky to have you."

        

"I don't want you to keep going in life thinking that you're lesser than everyone just because Collin rejected you," I told her. "I sought you out, Angel. I hope you can see it. Perhaps it was the wrong time."

 

"I know, it's just that I think the world of him. I just still feel bad about how rough things have been for me," said Angelina.

        

"Why are you so hard on yourself?" I asked. "Not everything was in your control. You made mistakes, but I think you were hurt by someone."

        

"I didn't grow up thinking that I will become a rape victim. So I feel that everything I do now, will dictate the rest of my life," said Angelina, taking a bit of the mint ice cream.

        

"You're smart. You should give yourself credit for just aiming for the right choices," I said. "A lot of people have a lot of difficulties with just making choices. But, you don't, Angel. I think you're smarter and classier than what you give yourself credit for."

 

"I'm still having trouble accepting it," she said. "That will forever have PTSD and Depression. I feel abnormal."

 

"Do you have trouble accepting that I'm from a broken home?" I asked. "Or that I have a Jewish lineage?" 

 

"No, of course not. I would never judge you for those things," said Angelina, with a glowing smile. "I'm not that type of person who's so stringent on having perfect friends, with perfect lives or high statuses. I feel lucky we met. Very lucky."

        

"Well, to me, you're a hero," I told her. "A beautiful, loving, intelligent, and phenomenal hero."

        

"I'm so happy to be here with you," Angelina said, her smile alluring me. "I'm not attracted to just anyone, but your heart is very attractive." 

        

"Let's go," I told her, leading her outside to the balcony. I held her from the small of her back and led her to edge of the balcony. The whisp of the evening sky was so close to us as the radiant moon was visible with its glittering hallow around the sky diamond.  The moon fell in love with the stars tonight, emitting its glow so wholesome of its full beauty. "Attraction is more than just physical, Angel," I told her. "It's soulful, spiritual, emotional and mental. It's also how the treat you and their responses to you. Everything has been accounted for in heaven."

 

"I know, it's the same way I thought Merrick was beautiful, but his heart was not for me," said Angelina. "I think our spirit protects us, and leads us to the right people and if we aren't attracted to that person, there is a reason why."

 

"Look at the moon for me," I said to her, as Angelina looked towards the gibbious moon. I softly whispered into her ear, "Angel, you will make it in everything you do, and I will be a witness to it. Your success and happiness will be so contagious to everyone you meet."

 

I took her hair in between my fingers and told her, "You owe it to yourself to keep your self-worth and to hold your head up high. To know that you belong in this world, just as you are. No one, no matter how high their status is, has the right to place you beneath them." 

         

I kissed her shoulder and she cuddled close to me with the soft breeze wrapping us around each other.

        

"Thank you, Ichabod," Angelina replied.

        

"Everyone has some type of problem, Angel. You're okay. Put the negative thoughts aside," I said, as my lips slowly reached for her nape and kissed her. I felt her heart beating, as we held each other tight for a few moments to store the heating romance that was undeniably locking us under the stars.

        

A soloist comes to the stage inside the restaurant, sitting near the piano player. His soft raspy voice sang Frank Sinatra's 'The Way You Look Tonight.' He slowed the tempo, passionately carrying each note as if he was the jazz legend himself.

 

My heart beats my own song, tuning to my burgeoning love for her. My arm wrapped around her waist and her head rests on my shoulder as we danced the song away. Tonight was anything but prom-ish because underneath the simple dinner date was a relationship worth mentioning to angels.

 

 

Chapter 41 - Colin's Epilogue

 

 

Sure, blame the white guy. Since Trump became President, everything became the white guy's fault. First off, I was born normal and just a regular guy becoming a man. I wasn't involved with anyone. Until I fell in love with Angelina. It was physical, then became mental, spiritual and before we knew it, we were spending more time together than anyone else. It was so natural and so fresh.

 

I never knew all those things you all knew about Merrick and Melody and the Merrick chain wanting to merge. I supposed that's the author's discretion. But, from my perspective, I was the fall guy because I didn't know better. I knew how to be kind and stay out of people's way, and because of that, I was the fall guy. The prick, the asshole, the rich kid with no ethics, the spoiled brat, that everyone hated. 

 

My folks tried to protect me and they tried to protect themselves and our family name, but no one told us Merrick and Melody wanted to merge and do all types of unpredictable fraud to us. No one bothered to give us even a hint that all these nonsense were for the Johnson's attempt to rip my family off. They kept coming over, our house and dined in our restaurants, and of course we didn't know because we thought we were harassed by Angelina and her father, Tom. They wined and dined up the yin-yang to our family and my Dad was so impressed by them that they were choosing dinnerware to build another establishment to go nationwide.

 

It was a fine day on a Friday night when my Dad and the Johnsons were picking out menu items for the Eurasian concept we spoke about when my Dad received a phone call from our chain in Boulder. Supposedly, a school bus dropped off some twenty men and women from CU Boulder at the street corner where one of my chain restaurants were located. They were all crying because they said there was a rape case that they were all a part of and if they caused any trouble, they'd arrested. It turned out to be the fraternity party that Merrick belonged to, where there was as sting in progress and Merrick and his fraternity brothers were investigated for the rape that happened to Angelina.

 

 

I was at the State Forest Park Camping Ground, fifty miles north of Longmont in the mountains. I was enjoying the evening breeze with the sound of the rustling trees and the birds chirping. I took Melody out for the weekend to explore each other's bodies and spend some time in nature, as Melody described it, "to fertilize" the relationship. I picked up the phone at the camping ground.

        

"Yeah, it's me dad," I said, on the phone.

        

"Collin, get out of there. Merrick did it," said my Dad.

        

"What? Did what?" I asked.

        

"Merrick raped Angelina, I just found out. Go home, son. They're bad people," said my Dad. His voice was low and raspy like a wounded heart as he hung up the phone.

        

My feet were glued to the dirt as Melody cleaned the tent and placing some heart pillows that she packed from home, on top of the sleeping bags. She took off her shirt, revealing her pastel yellow bra with stencils of ice cream cones over each bra-cup. She laid down on her side inside the tent. "Collin, baby. Come in, I have to tell you something," she said, posing in her underwear. "Let's get down to business, as she pointed to her underwear."

        

I looked for my backpack that was near the bonfire and took out my camera to put it back into my own bag. I felt my face lost its glow because it was now confirmed that this budding relationship with Melody was based on violence, deceit, fraud and greed.

 

"I'll be right back, Melody," I said, with a blank face.

 

I walked to my car that was about a mile away while Melody was still waiting for me inside the tent. I just dismissed any concern for her well-being because Melody was inside the tent waiting to seal the deal on the merger of my family business, not love.

        

After a few minutes, I was a few yards near my truck and Melody yelled my name again. I ignored her and let her scream for help. I took my back pack and the flashlights. I quickly went into my car and turned on the engine and the high beams. I saw Melody running towards me in her ice cream bra and yellow pastel underwear, waving her hands.

 

"Merrick is being arrested, take me with you!!," Melody yelled. I pushed on the gas and reversed, as I heard her scream and my phone buzzed, "Get me a cab, Colin! What do you think you're doing! I'm a Johnson family!"

 

 

I hung up and never came to the forest again because the next week was graduation, and I was off to USC, where there might be more women like Melody or Angelina. I promised myself to screen my phone, my life and my friendships. 

 

Throughout all this, I knew everyone felt I was responsible and I felt the burden to help Angelina, but I was so scared and felt my boyhood disappeared that I was pushed forward to 45. Maturity was so difficult to grasp, and I wanted to help an Angel, but something went haywire along the way. I wanted forgiveness for my family, because we felt thrown in without warning about the drama we were pushed into. 

 

I loved Angelina Lee. I always will, but perhaps, it wasn't destiny. Perhaps, God's will was not for her to be with me, although it was my plan with a promise ring that I gave to Ichabod before I left to USC.

 

I told Ichabod to dodge any conversations with me in the past and to care for Angel, because I loved her and I wanted her forever, but the devil made the situation unmanageable and dirty. It wasn't containable. Violence, especially rape and stalking and fraud and slander and so many more things we were all guilty of, and I succumbed to selfishness for the sake of self preservation of my family and my well-being.

 

I wish there was a way out. At least I made it out alive. I pray for you to made it out of life alive too.

 

Adieu.

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 39

Chapter 39 - Angelina

 

 

There were times when I fell in deep sorrows and Ichabod wasn't there, and Papa would help, only to be found in compassion fatigue. His sadness upon my life became more visible because I was his only daughter, and I was more vulnerable than ever before.  I had to ask for help, and Daisy was there, and we did the continued canine and equine therapy, but during the dark times and after midnight, my gut wrenched and my heartaches were so great that it infects my soul and jabs my spirit. 

 

This evening was one of those times, and no one was around as Papa worked late, and Ichabod and his friends were planning for the sting on The Blow Out fraternity party. I could only think of another human, almost mystical in being, but angelic in her heart, Leona.

 

"Leona, please pick up, please, please," I uttered to myself, dialing on my cell phone.

 

Surely and thankfully, Leona was there.

 

"Hi Angelina, how are you?" she said. "I meant to visit you or invite you over."

 

"I'm struggling, Leona," I said, as I began to sob. "My mind, it wounds in circles. I can't stop crying."

 

"Can you stay over at my house tonight? Tell your Papa, and you can stay here for the night, and we need to break some bondage for you," Leona said.

 

I love it when Leona spoke in a soulful language, it was as if she has the medicine I needed for my spirit, my mind, and my heart.

 

"Please pick me up, Papa used the car," I told her.

 

It took twenty minutes, but she arrived and I had told Papa that I needed to do another spiritual session with Leona for a holistic healing therapy. It felt brutal to my soul to not know what to do, but thankfully, I had resources that no one else had. I was privileged with access to Leona, and I knew not a lot of people accepted that holistic healing was essential for the soul, especially from the scars of violence.

 

When we arrived at her home, she took some pillows from her sofa and laid them down on the carpet. She lit some candles, then she went to the other room, and came out with a vial.

 

"This is holy water, that I asked from the Catholic Church, although I'm not Catholic, but I went to donate to their church for some holy water for you," she said. "We need it for the bondage breaking prayers."

 

"What is the bondage breaking prayers?" I asked.

 

Not having grown up in a spiritual home, I didn't know what I needed until I met Leona. Assault was so difficult, because I felt damaged through my soul, because my spirit was forcefully taken out of me, and even if I consented, sexual violence would damage anyone.

 

I felt my brain, my chest, my heart, my mind, and my thoughts were corrupted with negativities, anger, sorrow, depression, convoluted thoughts and confusion. I often became so lost in my own thoughts that I would disassociate and I confided in Bernadine and Daisy and my doctors for therapy, but nothing consoled my heart and nothing gave me peace.

 

"Bondage can be so many different things," said Leona. "It is whatever is separating you from truth, and often leads you to a broken path, temptation, abuse, violence, and it would be a hard sin. If you do believe in sin."

 

"I believe in sin, and I felt like a sinner," I told her. "I didn't know I was going to be raped, but I felt like it was my fault for being at the wrong place at the wrong time."

 

"It's not your fault," said Leona. "What's difficult is the persisting guilt, shame, negative emotions, anger, and those can lead to destructive behaviors. Often, we even compare ourselves to others, who don't even have the same walk in life."

 

"Can you help me, please?" I pleaded. "I know therapy helps, but there is a spiritual side of me who is thirsty for wholeness."

 

"That's holistic therapy, and often it's in the form of Christian Counseling, prayers, or even the therapy I gave you with tapping and so many more," said Leona. "Let's try bondage breaking prayers."

 

I knelt down on the carpet with the pillows as my cushions.

 

"First, let's have some tea," Leona said. "I have some Elderflower and Chamomile for you."

 

Leona went to the kitchen and brought out the Elderflower St. Germain, and took her tea cups with her. on a wooden serving tray. She had a spoon with her and Chamomile tea in a teapot. I took some Elderflower and poured on a few tea spoons in my tea cup. 

 

"We have to relax first, and when we pray, there will be tears, and I just don't want you to be so triggered that you'll have anxiety or more negative thoughts. So we stay here and do breathing exercises after the tea and start with the intercessory prayers," said Leona. "It's just prayers to break soul ties and demonic attacks."

 

"Soul ties and demonic attacks? That sounds massive," I said. My tears flowed down my cheeks, and I asked her, "I sometimes cry and I won't even know why, but it hurts in my heart and it feels so heavy in my soul and spirit and thoughts."

 

"That's PTSD and some bouts of Depression, and it's common. It manifests in so many different ways, negative thoughts, hormonal thoughts, fears, anxieties, and it can be from the demons of memories, or flashbacks or triggers that are often so miniscule," Leona said. "I will pray for strength, and surrendering to the Holy Spirit, and it helps with holistic healing and spiritual healing."

 

I nodded, and asked her, "Will it heal me?"

 

"It won't heal your PTSD and Depression, but it will help you understand what to do when you're hurting."

 

"Please help me," I said.

 

"Finish the tea, and lay down with the pillow underneath your head," said Leona. 

 

I drank the tea, and laid down on the carpet.

 

"Angelina, with your eyes open, can you tell me how you want to live your life?" asked Leona.

 

"I want to have a good life, a beautiful life, and a loving life, that I won't feel regret or heartaches when I look back," I said.

 

"Somethings are out of your control, but the things you can control are means, or ways of working things to get to a result," said Leona. "I want to tell you that if you want to have a good life, you have to try to give every means as a way to get to a good end. The means are the ends. If you want good, you have to do good. All the way."

 

"Thank you, Leona," I said. "For the things I can control, the means are the ends."

 

"Good, just so we are on the same page," said Leona. "Let's begin. Close your eyes and inhale deep and exhale out."

 

I closed my eyes and breathed in and out deeply, as I felt Leona stepped aside to fetch something and came back and knelt next to me. 

 

She uttered,

 

"Father God, it is with a humble spirit and downcast mind I come to You. Let mercy be upon my life, my soul, my spirit, my heart and mind. I was violated, and my soul felt damaged through my inner beings. Be with me, as I walk and as I talk and with every thought inside my mind, let Your anointing be a gift to me with sanity and wholeness. Be upon me and if my heart breaks, let it break so it will heal me, but live inside me, and shape me according to Your divine plans, for a life blessed with love, mercy, joy, peace, hope and faith."

 

Leona placed her palms on my forehead, and I felt her hand was soft and cold. I took in her words as healing verses to my life and my mind, calming me and helping me heal. 

 

She began to pray, "Father God, it is with humility, I ask for your protection, over me and my life, my walk, my thoughts, my actions, and over temptations. With every sin I acted upon, let it be thwarted out of me, and cast out evil and any deceit or harm towards me. I desire a life of love, healing, prosperity, success, and joy, with relationships around me, and those who support me."

 

Leona placed a sprinkle of holy water over my forehead with her hands.

 

"In the words of Psalms 18, It is God who avenges me, and subdues the peoples under me. He delivers me from my enemies, You, God, also lift me up above those who rise against me. You have delivered me from the violent man. Therefore, I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the Gentiles. And sing praises to Your name.

 

Father God, separate me from those who pursue my life, and from destructive thoughts from the enemies, the vice and malice that enters my being, the fears and misfortunes that harms me, cast out the demons of irrationality and harm towards others, and self-harm or suicide towards myself. Cast out negative thoughts, fornications, hormonal actions on sex and demons of temptations, and break the sorrows from within my soul.

 

Father God, break the spirit of confusion, convoluted words, emotions, irrational mindsets, fears of anything that perchance would harm or deflect blessings from entering my life, the sabotages from those who caused ill wills or harms towards me. The stagnant catatonia, the disassociations, the mental illness, break the bondage over me, and over my mind, my heart, my soul and my life. Bring a steadfast spirit within me, and lift me up from the gutters of the past, the sorrows and fears and heartaches of yesterday, the evils done upon me, and the violence upon my body, my mind, my life, my spirit. Father God, save me, bring me to wholeness, and separate me from the devils that are at work, the evil prayers, the curses, crush the oppressions towards me, all the abuse, the pleads of the criminals, the stalking of those who would profit off me and my sufferings, and aid me in my struggles. 

 

Father God, break the spirits of harm and violence, the victim's mark upon my soul, the demons that entered me through force, hatred, anger, abuse, rape, whether sexually, physically, spiritually, in words, or literature, in pornography or visuals, or the demons of abuse through drugs and substances and assaults or any means necessary to the criminals and evils who harmed me, the fornications without permission where upon my dignity and sacred wholeness was destroyed. 

 

Father God, break the bondage of shame and guilt on my heart and my mind, my shame on my body and the filth associated with the abuse, the assaults and harm and the harmful thoughts that often felt like skin on my flesh, peel it off, pluck it out, and rebuke the guilt and shame off of me, from the devil and his minions."

 

I couldn't stop crying and I felt shame attacked me and I felt fear over my life as I realized that PTSD and Depression and Assault could harm for a lifetime. "Leona, please break the soul ties. I felt the people who raped me has control over me," I said.

 

"Father God, I break the spirits and soul who assaulted (.......insert name here.....) and cast out and thwart out and take out the soul ties damaging my heart that also destroys and disturbs my thoughts. Please cast out sexual ties and bondage and rebuke the demons, the blood shames over me, through any ways, or forms, whether through consensual sex, or assaults, or adultery, or fondles of body and spirits. Cast out the spirit of shame and sexual demons that forces to abuse, the trafficking, the use of my body and spirit and mind and heart for the demonic pleasures of man or woman or consummate groups of vile and harmful means.  

 

Father God, as a matter of fact, erase, break, and cast out the victim's mark and the evils of soul ties amongst all victims of violence, whether child abuse, molestations, assaults, adultery or polygamy or any crimes found and unfound, seen and unseen, reported and unreported. Break the soul ties and harmful sexual ties and the abuses of men and women to the victims, in every possible way, for all races, all religions, all ethnicities, and all nations, all cities, all countries, all ages, and all sexual identities. Father God, break the soul ties between the perpetrators and their victims, for the innocent to survive and to live in peace, to gain harmony and peace of mind. To bestow blessings for all who were harmed and to break soul ties to deflect harm and suicide and abuse towards the innocent. 

 

Father God, bring justice where there are or were none, and bring healing to places, people, cities, minds, hearts, homes, and lives with every need and dire circumstances. Where there are confusions, ridicule, shame and crimes, bring justice and truth and clarity into the situations and aid the innocent to survive and gain clarity and wholeness with a peaceful breath of fresh air into their lungs, their lives, souls, minds and hearts. Heal every soul in need of healing, hope and joy, God. Bring all the wounded into Your holy presence, place your healing arms around each one of them, and bring the blessings to shower and pour on the love into their futures."

 

Leona placed her palms over my eyes and annointed my eyes with her holy water. She uttered, "Let her visions be of love, and what is noble, beautiful, trustworthy, real, pure, healthy, sane, profitable for her life, and grounded in Your truth, and propiritous of love, joy, faith, hope and truth for her life."

 

She placed her hand over my hand, and uttered, "Bring those who will be instrumental to a healing journey and prosperous future, healthy relationships, supportive friendships and courtship. Loving and protective of her soul and life in every way."

 

I cried, because I didn't know what I needed to ask for, and what I needed to say in prayers to ask for healing.

 

"Leona, may I pray?" I asked her.

 

"Of course," said Leona.

 

"God, help me," I said. "I don't know what to do. Guide me and restore me, help me all the way, every instant of my life."

 

I opened my eyes, and Leona smiled at me. She had a most endearing face upon me as I laid on the carpet.

 

"I need you to get up and drink more of the tea and we will repeat 'I Am" statements," said Leona.

 

I got up from the carpet and sat cross-legged on the carpet. I took another cup full of the chamomile tea and wiped the tears from my face. 

 

"Repeat after me, (....insert name here.....) Angelina," said Leona.

 

"I am God's masterpiece, made of the same particles of stars and the heavenly bodies, made to perfection."

 

"I am made Imago Dei."

 

"I am royalty. I am of God's royal bloodline."

 

"I am human, a woman (or man) or valor, and honor, and I deserve a good journey in life."

 

"I am made of truth, not lies, and I will listen to truth and not the lies of the enemies disturbing my thoughts."

 

"I am not a victim, but a brilliant woman (or man), and deserving of a compassionate life."

 

"I am a genius. I will heal and thoroughly, I will love again."

 

"I am beautiful. I was and am, and will always be."

 

"I am a living being, and life is in me."

 

"I am alive, and I will enjoy my sunrise as if it's my last."

 

"I am, with God."

 

I repeated every word, and the chamomile slowly drifted me away. 

 

"I fixed the guest room for you, Angelina," said Leona.

 

Leona took me to the guest room, and I rested till the morning.

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 36, 37, 38

Chapter 36 - Angelina

 

It has been weeks since I heard from Ursula, and when her assault happened, I was devastated.

 

"Why didn't you call me. If you're lonely or sad?" I asked. 

 

Samantha was with me, and there were tears in her eyes, after Ursula showed us her bruises on her legs and ribs and back on her hospital bed. The assault inside the car was so brutal that left her bruised and spiritually wounded.

 

"Wounded Butterfly can still mend its wings, Ursula. All is not lost," I said.

 

"Wings regrow, Ursula," said Samantha. "We're here because we have to report the crimes."

 

"The men who hurt me this time were reported. Jake took care of that and saw my scars. These are all evidence," said Ursula.

 

"What about Merrick?" said Samantha. "You have to report him, too."

 

"That's justice, Ursula. He hurt you when you were so young," I said. "I didn't know I was going to be hurt by him either."

 

"I'm scared about his family. Jake's shop, my life, and what will happen afterwards," Ursula said.

 

"That you will be hurt?" I asked.

 

"They're billionaires," said Ursula. "When I was raped by Merrick, one of their hit men, followed me. He was a cop, or had a badge for a detective from Denver. He said that if I talked, I'll be killed."

 

"That's a Johnson's thing to do, reminds me of some kind of Italian mafia shit?" yelled Samantha. "Ugh, I want to arrest these rich bastards with too much powers that they abuse the system!"

 

"They somehow know politicians, mayors, more billionaires, more rich people who would hurt me," said Ursula.

"There was a billionaire architecture firm and construction company who sent the fraud detective to hurt me when my Dad won the case against a human trafficker. He built one of the sports-stadium in Denver, and when he heard my Dad put down his friend, that bastard millionaire sent a fraud detective to taunt me at school. Angelina was there. We were at a Starbucks and he sat next to me, and whispered, "if you hurt us, you'll be killed," said Samantha. "They do corrupted crimes like this all the time. They need to be put to their place."

 

"The Johnsons and their friends called me on the phone and my Mom picked up and they cussed her out," said Ursula. "That was before I became homeless and I was still living at home with my Mom. My Mom cried and she wanted to hurt herself because I was raped and we were living in a trailer, and we were just so poor and on welfare. They have no remorse."

 

"Do they know the Walton family in Colorado?" asked Samantha. "The constructions companies who hurt me knows them."

 

"I'm sure they all hang around the same circle of friends, and probably in the same sports box at the stadiums watching Denver Nuggets, Denver Broncos, all sorts of things," said Ursula.

 

"So we're fucked!" I said. "If they know the richest family in America and in the world, we're fucked!"

 

"Not so fast, I may be in high school but everyone has rights," said Samantha. "If the Waltons are smart, they'd side with the people. The innocent people who buy their stuff and give them our money to make them rich. That's normal people like you, Ursula, and you, Angelina, and me."

 

"We have to report Merrick," said Ursula. "I'll report him if you both help me."

 

Samantha and I looked at each other, because we thought we would need to convince Ursula for a while before she agreed to report Merrick.

 

"Ursula, are you sure?" I asked. "I know for a fact, Melody was in on it, too."

 

"I was in the way of her rising to the top," said Ursula. "Merrick raped me to get Melody the lead in cheer."

 

"I was in the way of Melody going out with Colin," I said. "I was assaulted by Merrick and his friends because The Johnsons wanted Colin and his international restaurant company to be a part of their family."

 

"Colin is already going out with Melody," said Samantha. "Angelina, you have Ichabod now. don't compare them and don't cry over spoilt milk."

 

"It still hurts the same, because of the assaults. I didn't deserve to be raped at all," I said, tears still flowed down my eyes anyhow. Ursula took my hand, and said to me, "We got each other, sis."

 

Samantha hugged me, and took Ursula's hands and we hugged each other on Ursula's hospital bed.

 

 

 

Chapter 37 - Ichabod

 

 

Saturday morning was always so serene, but this evening will be the night of the Blow Out Party at the fraternity house in CU Boulder. Shane, Fanny, Sunjit, and I will go there with the Longmont and Silvercreek Police Department to bug their party.

 

Michael meditated on the floor of my porch with his sword, and said to me, "I will let you take control of the situation. You won't need me to help this time. I will be at the party with the others." I nodded as I sat on the porch swing with Shane. Michael disappeared and I knew Officer Fineman was going to come soon.

 

Our porch swing was comfortable and Shane and I sat side by side as the swing made a creaking sound as it swung back and forth. Shane looked to me and asked, "What's the plan?"

 

"We're waiting for him, let's wait for a minute," I said. "He's bringing some wireless devices for us tonight."

 

Officer Fineman arrived outside of my gates and nextdoor, I saw the tenants of Leona's former house looking through the windows. I quickly walked towards Officer Fineman and left Shane on the porch swing.

 

"Need help bringing anything inside?" I asked Officer Fineman who got out of his car.

 

"Nope, everything is compartmentalized and some of my officers are on stand-by near the Department. We're ready and getting the van out when it's time. We will be about three blocks away from the frat house," said Officer Fineman. "So, here is the deal, all of you will be ready to perform. When we say we're coming, you get out as soon and as fast as you can. Understood?"

 

Shane looked intently at Officer Fineman, and Fanny opened my doors, and Sunjit was sitting on my sofa when we all came inside my living room. 

 

Officer Fineman had a small box of small patches of stick-on devices. "Here, let's take one of your friends, pick one, Ike," said Officer Fineman.

 

"I pick Sunjit," I said, pointing to my best friend, and as a matter of fact, I think Sunjit, Fanny and Shane were all of my best friends. Now that we were on a mission together to bug the fraternity house.

 

"We stick this on," said Officer Fineman, peeling the stick-on rubber device from its pallatte of devices that came in pairs. "We stick this on his chest, lift up your shirt, Sunjit." Sunjit took off his shirt and Officer Fineman stuck on a device on his lower rib, and another one on his upper chest just between his shoulder blades. "We stick these on these locations, because these aren't suspicious, and your clothes cover them well. We stick these on just like a Salonpas or something like that, and then, we stick these small bugs on them," said Officer Fineman. He took a small black and round device in the size of a cellular battery, and as wide as a SIM card, and peeled off its stick on and paste it on the small patches on Sunjit's torso.

 

"The first peeled on plastic device is the conductor to these bugs, and they turn your body into a huge conductor to become a wireless detector for sound and anything of the sort. We have other ones that were built as small camera bugs, but we don't need that right now. We just need these sound bugs," said Officer Fineman. "Get into the conversation with these men, especially Merrick. Ichabod, I'm relying on your dreams and visions to give the men's descriptions to Sunjit and your friends, so they can speak to them directly."

 

"I saw one African American, another Asian man, and Merrick, and another one who I couldn't make out, perhaps another white guy, but unsure," I confided to my best friends and Officer Fineman. "Angelina will be here in a minute, she can tell you how many people."

 

Angelina stepped into our living room from outside as she just arrived to my house. "There were four I felt in my soul and I sometimes still get triggers about their spirits," Angelina said. "For some reason, the names Eric and Tim made me cringe."

 

"So we listen for Eric and Tim, and Merrick, and another man who is Asian American," said Officer Fineman. "But, there could be just anyone, right, Angelina?"

 

Angelina nodded, and her shoulders rose as she rubbed her forearms and folded them across her chest.

 

"I think Shane should approach Merrick, because Merrick saw me once at his restaurant and Shane is not from Silver Creek High," I said. "Melody knows who I am and she knows Sunjit."

 

"Fanny, can you make sure you don't get too drunk?" asked Shane. "I'm counting on you for the Asian guy."

 

"I'm going to perform though, what am I going to ask the guy? I'm going to bring my feather boas and shit," said Fanny.

 

"Just be grotesquely sexy, like your usual self, and start with anyone you think is cute, and then search for the Asian guy. There can't be too many Asian fraternity guys at the Blow Out, it's a typically white fraternity that Merrick's in," said Angelina. "I know Melody and Merrick only have token Asian friends, in their groups, that's why they called me China Doll, and I'm not sure what they call that Asian guy."

 

"Depends on his ethnicity, right?" I said.

 

"Okay, but don't let anyone rub your torsos that these bugs fall out and don't let anyone get you drunk that you slur your words and you can't get out of the party. Understood?" said Officer Fineman.

 

We each took two rubber stick on conductor and two stick on bugs, then put them in our pockets. Fanny blurted out, "I'm sticking them on my boobies."  We all high fived and Officer Fineman giggled.

 

"So our van is three blocks away, and you can't hear us, but we will be entering as soon as you get a confession from Merrick or the other men. The code word is "Hawks," said Officer Fineman. "We will be sending two officers, younger ones, and they will sweep the floors, and whence they saw you, they'll utter the words and you get out. We will bring in the officers with badges and make an arrest."

 

"What if they don't confess? Merrick is a drinker, and it's going to take a lot of beer to get him to confess," said Angelina. "He's a tall guy, too, and he's been drinking a while."

 

"Shane, can you top him?" I asked. 

 

"I can act like it," said Shane. "I'll probably drop it on the ground and knock it over. I'll bring in my own, and we can add CBD in it, to make him relax."

 

"What are you planning to bring?" Sunjit asked.

 

"My mix of Rum and Bailey's and CBD, and some caramel liquor," said Shane. "It's going to be pretty intoxicating. I learned from my Dad."

 

"YOUR DAD?!" yelled Officer Fineman. "Do I need to talk to him?"

 

"No No...No it's not like that...it's the drinks that got some Japanese girls drunk at the Karaoke bar one night and he told me that there were high humn trafficking in Japan and a lot of rapes and all sorts of things there. They usually get the girls drunk first and offer them coffee or chocolates and it's laced with something,' said Shane. "A lot of shit happens in Tokyo."

 

"No shit!" I said, my eyes wide open. "Good God!"

 

"Well....we have Angelina here, and we're going to get to the bottom of this, because gang rapes happens, but it's a human rights violation and it's a severe crime," said Officer Fineman. "Ike, I trust you, so we're going to do this based on truth and trust and faith. I'm counting on at least one guy to admit to it."

 

"Ike, does Merrick and the men know who you are? or you, Sunjit?" asked Fanny. "Didn't you guys go to the same school?"

 

"Merrick is like god at Silver Creek High, and I know he's not going to remember me and Sunjit. We never interact with Melody, either," said Sunjit. 

 

"We never talk to their group of cheers and players," I said. "Sunjit and I were always the Fantasy Club kids. They won't even know us."

 

"Okay, that's perfect," said Officer Fineman. "So it's almost ten in the morning right now. When does the party start?"

 

"I think about 7 at night," said Shane. "I know the fraternity houses are all prepping there. We have to stay away from there until it's about 8 and we can start performing."

 

"Got it," said Angelina. "We can meet another friend of mine, first. Ursula, Merrick's first girlfriend."

 

"Is she reporting?" asked Officer Fineman.

 

"I'm going to convince her. Right now, she's at the hospital in Longmont," I said. "She texted me. She was hurt again."

 

We all stood in silence and Officer Fineman said, "I never thought these things happened here in Colorado. I thought it was the least of our problems. I know of human trafficking, which was common, but not in Longmont or Boulder, or Northern Colorado. Now, we have assaults everywhere."

 

"It's becoming violent because of the violence that weren't put to justice, I think. There are so many unreported assaults, and all types of violence that were unattended, and the forces of this world tornadoes to swarms of evils spread all over the place. Natural disasters, evil manifesting everywhere, and the Angels among us has to work harder and more ferociously to defend the good," I said. 

 

"I have no idea how you know this, Ike, but I'm going to trust you," said Shane. "My gut said Merrick is an asshole."

 

"I trust Ike," said Officer Fineman. "I've suspected something sinister in that family for a while now, because they seem so rich in a fake sort of way, like they hurt someone before to get there."

 

"How is Leona" asked Sunjit. "Didn't she have a long-winded altercations with the Johnsons?"

 

"They wanted her business," I said. "But, my Dad worked with the Johnsons and Leona so they won't get into each other's way."

 

"Yeah, look what that got you, Ike?" said Fanny. "What does your Dad do?"

 

"He was an engineer, but he became a business owner, supplying gross amounts of supplies to restaurants and businesses."

 

"Restaurant suppliers, Company, like Costco, but for businesses only," said Sunji. "He's got warehouses for them."

 

"Ike, will you be losing your consumers?" Angelina asked. "It's your Dads business'."

 

"I could careless. I mean, don't worry," I said. "I got it covered. I'll tell you later."

 

We all stood in silence. Angelina began to sob, "I'm so scared, Ike, I'm so sorry," she said.

 

"If the rich is above the law, then what is the law for? The chaos will go down to the streets, and the people will be ingrained to harm in order to gain," I said. "That's injustice to its raw form."

 

 

 

Chapter 38 - Ursula

 

 

I supposed there would be time in a woman's life to start over, and it felt like starting over with my life after the hospital released me today. Jake came to pick me up, and we both drove to the shop and then to his apartment.

 

"It's small but will do," he said. He showed me the bedroom, the bathroom, and the living area. "Hey Ursula, let's talk," He said. "I want to be with you, but I don't want to pressure you. We just walk it together, and be honest. If you need space, tell me. You've been through a lot."

 

I looked to his eyes, and there was this sincere man who grew up lucky or as he told me, but inside he knew that his heart was to die for.

 

"I love you," I told him. "You saved my life."

 

I walked to him in the living room, and hugged him around his tout waist, as he wrapped his arms around me. "I want to grow, and learn," I told him. 

 

Jake smiled at me, and told me, "One day at a time, is growing."

 

"I will pick up after myself, and help as much as possible, for the shop and here," I said. 

 

"I'm happy with you safe with me," said Jake. He took my arms and wrapped them over his neck as he kissed me, passionately, and placed his lips slowly to my neck as his hands wandered on my body. For the first time, I wasn't in trauma, and I wasn't afraid, instead, I was relaxed and at peace. I stood breathing slowly in and out and let his lips wander on my body, my neck, my chest, and my stomach, and the rest was blissful romance between Jake and I as we cuddled, made love and he gently loved me and my body.

 

Several hours later, we laid on his bed in each other's arms, and his lips were still kissing me. He massaged my left thigh as I faced his body and I grimaced from the soreness. "It's a loving sensual pain when sex is with someone I love," I told him. "As if women were supposed to bear the pains of sexual intercourse from Eve's mistakes in Eden."

 

"It took both of us, and I'm here," he said, caressing my cheek with his palms. "If she was blamed for everything, mankind won't exist. In a way, you took me out of a damaging relationship from Crystal. She hurt you and Crystal hurt me. She brainwashed me for a time, and I didn't want to be that way again."

 

"Jake, you helped my mental health and well-being," I softly whispered. "Thank you, but maybe we're going too fast?"

 

"I'm here to stay, Ursula," said Jake. "Stay with me. I don't want you to leave."

 

"I'm staying," I answered, confidently. "All of me, loves all of you."

 

"All of my flaws? I'm just a pizzeria owner, and my parents live in Lakewood," Jake said. "We're just a humble family. Not rich, just comfortable, but we love each other. That's what matters most. We won't be glitz or glamour."

 

"You're everything I need. I'm sorry I made all of those mistakes," I cried to him, caressing his cheeks and tracing his eyebrows. "I was so careless."

 

"I promise to forgive, as long as you promise to forgive me, too," said Jake. "I'm not perfect. I am just so in love with you, fpr a year now. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I was in love even when you were carrying that duffel bag after walking from the shelter, looking for a job."

 

"I just wanted to work, and I surrendered to God, asking Him to help me," I said, as I cried to pieces and I realized that miracles had happened to me, and I never appreciated it. I didn't know Jake was compassionate until Crystal made racial slurs towards me. All I knew was that he needed a girl who would dance for him, and didn't mind the Summer heat or the minimum wage with no benefits. I was desperate and so was he. 

 

"I didn't know what would happen with my pizzeria if I didn't bring in customers. I was hoping I'd make it every month," said Jake. "In a way, you saved my life and my business. The pizzeria was all I had. I used up all of my money and was on loans from the bank. If I don't make it per month, I'd be in deep shit."

 

I giggled, and replied, "You didn't think you'd meet anyone in more trouble than you?"

 

"It wasn't your fault. I'm happy you're healing. We'll heal you," said Jake. His hands wandered to my waist, and down my spine, hugging me. "I was crazy about you, since you accepted the job. I didn't want to lose you. So, tell me where you're going, and how I can support you," said Jake. "I'll be here."

 

I breathed in and slowly let my breath out, while kissing him.

 

"I'm not looking anymore," said Jake. "I want you to grow with me."

 

I was the luckiest girl in the world. 

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 35

Chapter 35 - Ursula

 

 

It felt like death was inches away and my life was about to be lifted up to hell when the ambulance arrived. Jake sat beside me near the gurney and I was naked under the cotton blankets with satin lining. The EMTs took Jake's statement and so did the police. They wanted descriptions of the perpetrators and where to find John, as described by me and from my memories of it.

 

I was asleep by the time I was in the hospital and now I woke up a day and a half later, in the early morning of 4 am on a Monday. There was no one here, except for the Certified Nurse Assistant, Marley, and she gave me a chicken broth to sip on because I was hungry but I didn't want to eat anything because I was afraid I might vomit.

 

My headache was still there and I felt so used up, and my body felt abused and battered. My bones hurt, my shoulders felt tense and my legs felt sore. It felt like I was at the gym for hours without water, but it was actually a physical and violent trauma. I never knew I would ever experience this in my whole lifetime.

 

Marley called Jake, because he placed his number as the next of kin, and told them that he was my supervisor at work and my boyfriend. "That's the only reason why we trusted him and let him in the hospital," said Marley. "He said he'll be here in twenty minutes."

 

I tried to stop the tears but it flowed down my cheeks like a dripping faucet from my eyes. I didn't know how to stop it, and I didn't know what to say to Marley, other than, "Thank you."

 

Marley gave me a box of tissues, and told me, "I've had a friend all of my life because she was the only person who believed in me when I was hurt by my father. Her name is Jane, and she has been my best friend since third grade," said Marley. "Jake....Jane, almost serendipitous, don't you think. It might be a sign. That things will work out at the end."

 

My left hand reached my face and I sobbed uncontrollably, dropping tears like rain on my hospital gown and moistening my palms. 

 

"Hey....it's okay. Let it out," said Marley. "It's normal. I'd be scared if you weren't sobbing."

 

I nodded, and said, "Thank you."

 

Marley sat next to me, and asked me, "What was the perpetrator's race?" 

 

"Latinos of some kind. I'm not sure, but I was hurt before too, and he was white, and there were others from the shelter, and they were black. Basically, all men hurt me," I told her.

 

"My Dad was Asian," said Marley. "I'm Hmong. Do you know what that is?"

 

"I think so. Mountains area near Vietnam, Laos...around there," I said. I was hoping I didn't sound too uneducated with being a high school dropout.

 

"Yup," said Marley. "We are a close family, my family, so no one expected what happened to me. People thought I was trying to kill my parents."

 

"How did you get over it?" I asked. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

 

"This was a long time ago, I was in third grade and I'm in my forties now," said Marley. "But, it still hurts. It's time and effort."

 

"Are you married?" I asked. "If it wasn't for Jake, I would have ended my life in self-harm."

 

"No, I'm not married," said Marley. "But, I'm surrendering. It is what it is. When you're older, and realized that life can be okay without a husband, I think you've reached maturity. I make efforts to help myself, and you should to. Don't underestimate yourself, and don't think less of yourself, even with the trauma you endured."

 

"I was raped badly, and I didn't know if I should say anything, but I felt so low, that I was so afraid. I was afraid I'd get in trouble for being raped," I told Marley. "I'm thankful you are so open to me. I thought I was going to cry alone here."

 

"To tell you the truth, every rape victim thought they did something wrong, and that they felt it was their fault and that they were in trouble. It's a strange victim mentality, because we felt oppressed that we were obligated to feel lower, to be at fault, and to be victimized even more," said Marley. "Those are lies. We deserve extraordinary miracles in life. Especially because we were hurt. That's the truth!"

 

I felt her spoke life in to me, and I felt my spirit comforted, that someone wanted me to be better, to feel better, to heal and to progress. Marley wanted me to be healthy and to lean forward to a bright future.

 

"I'm not young, and I don't know if I will have a boyfriend or a husband," said Marley. "But, I know that I deserve someone who values me, and loves me, and wants me because he not only needs me, but wants the best to happen to my life."

 

"I haven't met anyone like that, but Jake is close," I said. 

 

"Jake is biracial isn't he?" asked Marley.

 

I looked down to my palms on my stomach while laying on the bed with my back against two pillows. "I'm worried he's like them, because he said he loved his ex-girlfriend once and she hurt me. I'm worried that because I'm an easy victim, he'll drop me later if I do something wrong."

 

"Do you hurt other people?" asked Marley. "I think Jake thinks for you."

 

"What does that mean?" I asked. "I don't hurt other people, no."

 

"Jake thinks about what you need, and what makes you a better human being. He told me that you work for him, but he was willing to put his name down to make sure you have someone who is responsible as a support system. That's a huge move," said Marley. "If someone is willing to go the long way with you, it means they care about your well-being. Family kind."

 

Tears peaked out and went down my cheeks, because I never knew what it meant to have someone cared for me that much. My own family won't speak to me because I wanted to drop out and take time off. My Dad ran out faster than a laser beam to drop his own family and be careless himself. My Mom acted as if I was her mistake, and every day was a sad day with me. I wished I wasn't born into the family I was born into. I belonged elsewhere, but nowhere, so homeless I was.

 

Jake knocked on the door, and Marley stood up from the chair next to my bed, and dimmed the lights in the room.

 

"It's soothing for serious conversations," said Marley.

 

"Hey....Marley," I looked up to speak to her before she left. "I will keep you in my heart and thoughts."

 

Marley smiled at me, and left to the nurse's station.

 

Jake tapped Marley on her shoulders, and told her, "Pal." Marley high-fived him. Jake sat on the chair where Marley sat, next to my bed, facing me.

 

"Sleep is good for the brain, Ursula," said Jake, taking off his blue cap.

 

"Induced sleep helps too, I hope," I said.

 

"I have a surprise, later," said Jake. His eyes smiled at me, with a shine that lifted high and the wrinkles near his eyes crowed a bit. His endearing face made me smile. 

 

"I'm sorry," I said, blurting out and sobbed again. It felt so bad inside, that he had to see myself in this horrible light. The worst of me, instead of the best of me. I wanted to show Jake I was capable and had a responsible demeanor, someone he could count on, and I failed miserably.

 

"The perpetrators will be sorry," said Jake. "You don't deserve any of this. At all." His smile was gone, and his eyes told me that he did not expect this much suffering either. That he didn't know what happened either.

 

"I just know the Ursula who worked for me, worked hard. She danced that billboard like a pro. She brought in customers, and she was ready to work. You're valuable to me," said Jake. His eyes moistened. "I'm sorry, Ursula. That you were hurt this way. I didn't anticipate this much violence in anyone's life. I never experienced it."

 

"I wish I know what to do," I cried my reply. "I don't know what to do."

 

"And that's okay," said Jake. "Most adults, to tell you the truth, wouldn't know."

 

I just kept crying, and I was so embarrassed, because he saw all of me, broken in my skin, raped and battered as if I was a dead dog by the freeway. But, he patiently waited until I breathed and said to me, "I told you I was an orphan, but my parents never made me feel adopted. I think all they taught me was based on love. That's how life works, Ursula. You just love others, as you love yourself."

 

"I'm not sure I know how," I said. "I know uncontrollable emotions, and suicide attempts, and drinking problems, and pain."

 

"Well....first thing is that sex is not love. They are not the same. Especially, the abuse of sex, is not love. It is called rape," said Jake. "What happened to you was a crime, and it was rape. It was a violent crime, and it was done to you, not by you. You didn't choose it. It forced you down to a broken path, but you're going to heal. That's first. I can write it down later."

 

I knew Jake was smart, but I never knew he was wise. I knew the difference between smart and wise, and often it was arrogance, but he was wise and kind. I really felt lucky to have him as my supervisor, and I hope, boyfriend, although it was unofficial, and only on hospital charts.

 

I stayed silent, because I wanted to listen to him speak life to me.

 

"The surprise is here anytime now," said Jake. He stood up from the chair and looked outside the room. A few moments later, a familiar face came in, and I screamed!

 

"Barbara!!!!! Oh, My, GOD!!!!" I yelled. Barbara Paradiso walked in with her support dog, a large golden doodle.

 

"I brought Bessie with me," said Barbara. Barbara Paradiso and I met her when I sought help from Safe House Boulder, and she helped me with therapy and spoke to me, many a times, about life and how to learn to cope with violence.

 

My eyes were wide open, and Jake laughed and said, "You looked like you just saw a ghost!"

 

"I have chocolate, dark ones," said Barbara. She gave me a small box of Dove Chocolate, and I quickly opened it and devoured one at a time. 

 

"I wish I spoke to you more often," I said, with tears in my eyes, wishing for time to come back and our friendship wasn't so short, although it has been 15 years.

 

"Well...I'm busy and you're busy dancing on the street, as Jake told me," Barbara said. "How do you manuever those things? They look heavy."

 

"Not really, foam boards with handles behind it," I said. 

 

"I'll leave you two in conversation," said Jake. "Ursula. I'm here. Always. And I'll be here."

 

I smiled at him, and told him, "I want to be with you here." 

 

"Good," said Jake. He tapped the doorway, and walked out of the room. "I'll be back. Enjoy."

 

Barbara sat on my bed near my feet, and held my hands. "How are you, dear?"

 

I took her hands, and put them on my forehead, and I cried and cried, and cried. Barbara looked at my face, and told me, "It's healing. It breaks 10 calories a minute."

 

I told her, "I don't know how many girls and women understand me."

 

"They all need to understand you," said Barbara. "You deserve happiness, Ursula."

 

"As you, and I am so happy you married, and found true love, and had a beautiful daughter, had a pregnancy and gave birth, and you're stable. I miss you, so much. I wish I can sit on that chair again, in front of you, and talk about life with you," I told her. 

 

"I think your story is a long one, a saga," Barbara said. "But, it has a happy ending."

 

"How do you know?" I cried my question out, because I wasn't sure what life would look like now. Everything felt so uncertain, and I was so broken, in all of my nakedness, I was assaulted and beaten and left for dead like the rats of New York. I was a long story that no one would read.

 

"I know, because if I'm important and true, then so are you," said Barbara Paradiso. "I've made it my life's mission to end violence. And you're an instrument of my peace."

 

"Am I important to you, Barb?" I asked. I felt Barbara was my guiding light, and I was the little girl she helped along the way. There must be millions of us in the world, because of Barbara Paradiso's bravery, talent, hard work and grit, truth, wisdom, and knowledge.

 

"You owe it to this world, to know how important you are," said Barbara. "People are born important. Life is important. You willing to keep living is important. You helping others, through your work is important. You are important."

 

"Barb, you're important to God, because you saved so many lives along the way," I told her.

 

"It takes one to know one," said Barbara. "I'm happy you woke up from the long nap after the assault. Some women didn't. Some women died."

 

I took her hands, and kissed them. "Thank you for your heart, Barb." I said. I meant every word.

 

"Jake thanked me, too," she said with a smile. "He's a good man. I'm happy you met him. Keep working for him as a billboard master. It's good exercise."

 

I laughed, and Barb said, "You giggled."

 

"That was me, laughing, Barb," I said to her. 

 

"It was a giggle, Ursula," she said, laughing.

 

Jake walked in, and told us, "The doc said, a week, and mental health follow up, and bed rest. Ursula, I'll put my apartment as your future home. It's a two bedroom."

 

"Thank you, Jake," I answered. 

 

Barbara smiled. It was worth a zillion dollars in heaven and Earth, that no one could take away from me.

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 34

Chapter 34 - Ichabod

 

"Officer Fineman, are you serious?" I asked. "You want me to do what?!"

 

"Wear the bugs and go to their Blow Out Party," said Officer Fineman.

 

"I thought you didn't believe in all of the dreams I told you about?" I asked. I was flabbergasted. Officer Fineman told me with Angelina that he felt the myth and the superstitions were false and we needed evidence.

 

"That's how you'll get evidence, son," said Officer Fineman. "You told me yourself. It was worth believing, besides, I felt something was wrong when I kept having nightmares that there were other victims besides Angelina. I saw faces and they cried, and some were blondes, brunettes, and even red-heads...every type of girl was there. I think Angel was just a symbol of a familiar girl we all knew who Merrick and Melody hated."

 

"There were other victims, Officer," I said.

 

"How did you know?" asked Officer Fineman. "How do you so much? What do you eat?"

 

"I'm kosher, sir," I said. "But, it's not about that. It's about Ursula, Angelina, the ghost of the blonde I saw in their frat house basement."

 

"How did you get into their basement?" asked Officer Fineman.

 

"Shane, Fanny, and Sunjit came with me to their basement. We sort of went inside from the window near the bushes," I said, smiling. I reached Officer Fineman and gave him a bear hug. He was such a kind soul, believing in me and everything, I just couldn't' resist.

 

Officer Fineman stayed silent for a minute, and wrote something down in his small notepad that was inside his pocket. He placed his finger in the center of his lips, and mumbled to himself. Then shook his head and cried a little, then placed his right hand on my left shoulder. "You are forgiven. Perhaps in the times of Berekoth, we were once Father and son," said Officer Fineman. "I trust you are a good kid inside."

 

"Can I bring friends, and we all wear the bugs?" I asked. "I need Shane because he looks like a frat boy and he's black, but mostly because he's tall, dark and handsome and he's going to get us all inside."

 

"Okay, Shane is in," said Officer Fineman.

 

"Then I need Sunjit, because he's also tall, and he's really smart and although he's handsome, he has a silent presence. People notice him, but they all trust him," I said.

 

"Okay, Sunjit is in," said Officer Fineman. "Then, you. And that's it."

 

"Okay, one more, Fanny. Because she has a vintage Bettle and she's going to be our loudest fake Freshman for the upcoming year. Trust me, Officer, she's Vietnamese and chubby, and really really cute. The kind you want to pinch her cheeks for a dollar type of girl," I said. "Please...she won't wear the bug, only the boys, so she can dance and bring the joint on fire."

 

Officer Fineman shook his head, and rolled his eyes a couple of times and took out his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his forehead. "Sweating, not swearin," said Officer Fineman. "Okay, Fanny is in."

 

I jumped on his chest and hugged him and fist bumped his hand as I took his palms and tried to make a fist but his hands were sweaty and I got his sweat all over my hand, so it didn't really work out, but I tried. Then, I high kicked with my right leg, and told him. "I'm also dating Angel," I told him. "What do you think? Bad ass?"

 

Officer Fineman turned around from my front porch and walked swiftly and drove off.

 

I was left alone, but was feeling it...the bad ass feeling. I was a bad ass.

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 33

Chapter 33 - Angelina

 

"We have to do something different today," said Daisy. "We're doing therapy with Debra from Colorado Horse Rescue."

 

"Equine Therapy, you mentioned that before," I said. It has been several months with the Canine Therapy, and Animal Therapy, but with Equine Therapy, I'd have to be brave.

 

"Try not to get anxiety and breathe," said Daisy.

 

Daisy drove us inside her black Prius to Longmont, and it wasn't long before we reached the country side further from the city, closer to the Loveland areas. We saw horse ranches, farms, green grass and tall green trees that helped me felt safer, peaceful, and less burdened. It felt carefree and although there was no cell phone reception, Daisy and I were in bonding.

 

"I didn't tell Deb what happened," said Daisy. "It's not her job to be your therapist, remember, but you can tell her your anxieties, and your fears. She isn't trained in counseling, but she is trained in violence prevention and trauma informed care. It's different than therapy. She is sort of a para-professional in counseling, but not a professional counselor. If you can understand me? I hope you're not scared."

 

"I'm not scared. I just have the tendency to over-share, I think. It's hard to control my emotions, and I just overload someone and I didn't mean to. They end up ghosting me," I confided, with all of my truth.

 

There were so many times when I truly wanted to share something to Daisy, about being taunted and bullied because I felt lesser than normal since the assault, and especially, being Asian American. I felt lesser than Asian, and lesser than every race or ethnicity, and lesser than human. I felt like the girl everyone hated, the ones who gets kicked around because she was different, completely in contrast to the Angelina "China Doll exoticized" Lee that perhaps people had inside their minds because I was Chinese and dating Colin. Now, I was always scared, always humiliated, and excluded because I was compared to other women who were more capable, without mental illness.

 

"I came to the realization that you being an only child, might have something to do with that. If you had supportive siblings, you might be able to share with your brother or sister, but since you're all alone, you tend to feel alone a lot," said Daisy. "You feel unsupported a lot. It makes you shaky doesn't it?"

 

"I can only load so much to Samantha, and she gets overwhelmed, too," I said. "She is only human, and I think she's normal and it's okay for her to say she can't take the negative or the trauma. She needs a break. If I don't have anyone to share, most days, I'm so alone."

 

"Well, with Equine Therapy, we have the horses to relieve ourselves to. They have a huge heart, and literally, ten times the size of ours, and with that, comes a more grounding capability compared to dogs But with dogs, even with their small hearts, they can be with you constantly. Horses can't. Believe it or not, the heart and its peace is the source of grounding sensation and spiritual healing. If you can ground yourself with a horse, you can help yourself to control your emotions."

 

"Do they hug?" I asked.

 

"Yes, and oh, you will love them. Once, when I was getting treatment with Deb, a horse named Diamond, and Cupcake hugged me and I bonded with them. I felt their heart beating in sync with mine, and I felt my heart become stronger," said Daisy.

 

"It's a huge help, and I love horses. Can we ride them?" I asked.

 

We arrived at the Colorado Horse Rescue site and the first thing we saw were the trailer and office entrance, leading to the barns and the farms. 

 

"You won't be able to, and they're also abused and neglected horses. Some were sick, and some were treated badly, and the ones we work with will be the ones that Deb worked with after their healing process were completed," said Daisy.

 

A pretty and fit woman with a button-down jeans shirt, denim pants with buckled boots came out of the trailer office. 

 

"You'll like her, she's right there waiting for us," said Daisy. "She's nice and honest."

 

"Hi, how are you?" said Debra. We shook hands as she met me outside the office. "Let's join the group."

 

"Angelina is one of the new girls, Deb," said Daisy. "A critical case, if you don't mind me being truthful, Angel." Daisy told Debra and Debra nodded to Daisy. "I'm going back and will pick you up later, Angel," said Daisy. to me "Enjoy the day."

 

"We have three other women with us," said Debra to me. "We will do some ice-breakers first, then go outside."

 

"Thank you, Debra, for accepting me," I said. "Thank you, Daisy." I waved to Daisy as she drove off.

 

I walked in with Debra and we sat around the table towards the back of the office, behind the organization T-Shirt store.

 

"We should introduce ourselves, and talk about what gives us peace," said Debra.

 

We each discussed different methods of healing after we each introduced our names and our jobs, and where we all originated from. 

 

"Now, let's share about how we came to Colorado," said Debra. All the group members talked about our past, our histories, and our familiarity with Colorado and the Rocky Mountains.

 

"Now, let's just dive deeper," said Debra. "What gave us trauma, and where were you at the time?"

 

Each person took time to discuss our own traumas, and shared as much as we felt we needed.

 

"Notice we shared only at the level of our comfort," said Debra. "With some of us, we are so much more cautious, and for others, we share as much as we felt we need to get everything out of our chest. It's different for everyone and no one is wrong in doing so. It's about healing, not judging."

 

We did a few breathing exercises, and the long and short breath of it. Then, we discussed the different methods of communications, what and how and how much we can talk and share, and how to break down the anxieties of fears and worry, which was two of the most common crutches the group had suggested we discussed. How to communicate our vulnerabilities, and how to know to trust, and what to do and what to avoid. How to resolve our own differences with others, internally, spiritually, then psychologically and physically.

 

It was several hours until we went outside. The Equine Therapy was a weekend full of learning, sharing, bonding, and talking. 

 

"We can start with Diamond. She's older, and a bit more fragile, but she's soft inside," said Debra. "Just stand next to her, and if she felt your fear, she will step back. If you're hostile, she will fight back, but we're not doing that, so be as gentle as you can with her. Try to be stable, if you can breathe in first, and try to have some control of your soul and spirit."

 

I stood about a foot in front of her, and Diamond stepped closer. She placed her nuzzle on my hand. "Hold her cheeks, Angel. She's ready to be your friend," said Debra. "You have a fan."

 

Diamond took her left foreleg and wrapped me around my waist with her leg. I closed my eyes, and embraced her, and felt her heart beating. For a minute, I was inside the dark with my eyes closed, but no longer in darkness. I was afraid of what happened to me, but I was not fearful of life. I was in peace inside the dark and felt peace when I opened my eyes. I was in peace with my eyes closed and my eyes open.

 

"That's a strange sensation," I said to Debra. "I felt sweetness inside my soul. As if something so kind held me together."

 

"That's her soul. Most animals are kind. They speak kindness, and it is only during hunting and being hunted will they become feral if they must," said Debra. "But, if they felt safety. And this is true for humans too, they feel stable and safe, then they're kind. Is that true with you all?"

 

"Yeah, I feel safe with Diamond," said a girl in our group.

 

"I felt her sweetness, too," said another.

 

"I felt at peace with my eyes closed and open. I've never felt that before. I usually cry when my eyes are closed, and fears when my eyes are open," I told Debra.

 

"No fears, no doubts. Just keep going, keep shining. You're meant for the light," said Debra. "The next session, we will hold the horses with some saddle, and we can get closer to them with the saddle on and lead them to teach them to jump over a course."

 

"How do you get rid of the fears?" I asked.

 

"You have to train yourself. Trauma is very specific to the brain, and it shakes our cores and the functions of our souls. But, we can retrain our brains and our spirit, by being educated and aware of our responses to it. Through reading, through therapy, through communications, through relationships, through meditation and words of comfort. You get better. You will feel safer, because most of time, it's a sensation and feeling that alludes us, not a factual happening, unless you're living in war at this time, then you have to move out of the place you're in," said Debra. "Since we have resources for the healing. We all have the right to heal, and to gain safety and treatment and therapy to heal."

 

I felt a step closer to healing, and to a life closer to a bright future.

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 32

Chapter 32 – Ursula

 

James called, and he wanted to go out for sushi, with me, tonight. His strong jaw and handsome faced brunette with deep set eyes made me smile because he was hot and he asked me out. I finished my shift at the grocery store and hurried to the teen homes and went to community shower and washed the left-over cabbage scent on my body. I wore my black leggings and mini skirt with a tight red top to Jake's Pizza on my bike. It wasn't far, but it was a stretch from my shelter. I saw James waiting in his white Dodge Ram pick-up truck.

 

"Thank God, I thought he was going to stood me up," I said to myself. "A good night for me, please. First date since Merrick."

 

"Gorgeous, are you ready?" said James.

 

"Yes, thank you for coming," I said. "I was afraid you weren't going to show up."

 

"I wouldn't do that. I was the one who asked you," said James.

 

"I rode my bike, so I hope the place isn't far and it's okay for you to drive us?" I asked.

 

"Yes, we can drive back from there, or if the date goes well, we can still stop by my place," said James, with a wide smile and white teeth.

 

"We'll see," I said. I felt pushed by his inuendo of going back to his place after the date.

 

"Let's go," said James.

 

The drive took five minutes with Iwajima located close by. It was scant with customers but the ambiance was beautiful. Black furniture and dim lights with just the bright sepia lanterns as decors and small vases of fresh Gerber Daisies and baby's breaths. He picked a table by the sushi bar, and said, "I wanted to show you this beautiful drink. It's their specialty. Asamamurasaki, or Japanese purple rice wine."

 

"Sake? It's hard liquor," I said. I wasn't ready for it, but it's been a decade since I was on a nice date, that I was willing to try everything for the first time. "Is it sweet?"

 

"It's divine," said James.

 

I smiled, and told him, "I'll try a little."

 

The waitress came and shared the menus on the table as he ordered sashimi on a boat and miso soups with the infamous Asamamurasaki.

 

"Where do you work?" James asked. "Besides Jake's?"  

  

"The grocery store in Louisville, and it's a great job," I answered.

 

"Yeah? It pays the bills?" asked James. "That's what's important, right?"

 

I looked to the table and felt shamed because I was a minimum wage worker and worked two jobs compared to his career. "What do you do?" I asked him.

 

"I work at Kinko's as a manager there," said James. "It's an international franchise. I know the higher up district and regional managers. It's been good."

 

"I see, and that's more than just bills. It's got extra bonus play money in every paycheck," I said.

 

"Play money?" James asked.

 

"Yeah, the extra money to buy charcoal masks, or a sweet watermelon to treat yourself," I said.

 

"Honey, no money is play money," said James. "Or you will get played."

 

I sat back in my chair and felt as if I was in trouble, reminding me of the time when my teachers would put me on the spot for not doing my homework. I smiled at him, and realized he was more experienced than my 21 years of age. I didn't know anything, except rape and homelessness.

 

"Do you think you have baggage?" asked James.

 

"Baggage?" I asked.

 

"Yeah, I have baggage, like life issues," he said. "Everyone's got something."

 

"Of course, I do," I answered. "I sometimes feel bad for having them, but I'm thankful I'm alive."

 

"Well, if you have baggage, that's the baggage you'll carry for the rest of your life," said James.

 

I felt my eyes moistened and I looked to my hands folded in front of me, as I realized that I was more a victim than a young adult. My issues of trauma and rape were deeply fused with family issues, self-esteem issues, work issues with some sexual harassments, and so many more. James was right, I told myself, I had a lot of baggage and it would be with me for the rest of my life.

 

The waitress came back with the order, and James said, "Waitress, the Asamamurasaki, please?"

 

I looked to him and asked, "Is that the purple rice wine?"

 

He nodded, and said, "It's something to celebrate. For an evening, we can take our baggage away with just dinner. Shall we?" He poured some teas into our beautiful ceramic cups and began to dine with some sashimi, and he took a salmon piece and fed it to me. "Delicious, I'm letting you take this from me," he said.

 

Tears dropped to the table as I faced down because the thoughts of baggage and issues permutated inside my head and I felt miniscule compared to James who was a manager of an international franchise.

 

"What's wrong honey?" he asked and didn't take the sashimi into my mouth.

 

"Just some trauma issues," I answered. "I've been having some issues from the past."

 

The waitress came back with the Purple Rice Wine, Asamamurasaki, and two sake cups.

 

The clear tall bottle had some twirls of lemon zest and sparkler cubes inside the bottom of the bottle. James asked the waitress to do her trick as she placed some sugar crystals into the glass bottle to sweeten the sake wine, and the sugar crystals glittered its way down. James poured the sake into our cups and the frozen cubes of ice inside our sake cups gave a mist up towards our chest. I wanted to try it and the colorful trick enchanted me.

 

"It's beautiful isn't?" asked James. "Shall we drink it?"

 

He raised his cup and I raised mine, and cheered, "Bottom's up," he said.

 

I drank it like a shot, and it was strong with a sweet aftertaste. I wasn't sure how to drink a sake, but judging from the small amount of it, I thought drinking it like a shot was appropriate.

 

James laughed, and said, "Slow down, just sip it like a drink." As he sipped it slowly, and letting the misty frozen cubes decorate his cup.

 

"What do you want to do tonight?" he asked me.

 

"Just dinner and go back home, then go to sleep," I said.

 

"What about we take a drive?" said James.

 

My guard was up and I was afraid, as the intensity gave me a headache. The headache persisted and as we ate, James talked about Kinko's and how it wasn't a perfect place but he was willing to move up in the chain. I was happy for him, and chewed away while I ate the sashimi, and sipped the sake, but I wanted some water and the waitress took a very long time to give me the water I requested.

 

James waved the waitress, and as she arrived to our table, James asked, "The bill, please?"

 

"May I still have some water?" I asked. The waitress nodded, but never came back.

 

James got up from his chair, and I wanted to sit down to wait for the water. "I'll get you some water in the car," said James.

"I have a headache, I can't stand up," I said.


I felt my body weakened and my head felt a strong pressure as my body felt light as air. I told James, "Do you have aspirin."

"Yeah, it's in the car," said James.

 

I got up from my seat and began to walk with him. He reached for my hand and held me up, but kicked my left ankle, as I fell down to the ground and my body weakened.

 

"Why did you kick me?" I asked. My heels felt weak and my head spun.

 

"Just testing," said James. "Some girls….geeesh Ursula. You should have told me you're a light weight."

 

The headache intensified, and I was about to cry but I held it down, and asked him, "Could I just rest in the car for a moment, and please drive me back to Jake's."

 

"No problem," he said. We arrived to the parking lot of Iwajima and he opened the car door and I sat down slowly and laid my feet straight in front of me.

 

James searched inside his car, and said, "I know I have aspirin somewhere." He searched and took something out of his pocket and gave it to me. It was a small tablet in its pharmaceutical packaging, and he said, "Here, take this….it will make you feel better. It will take the headache away. Trust me."

 

I took it and swallowed it dry mouthed, as James said, "Guess what?....water!" James said, handing the water bottle to my hands.

 

I drank it and I felt the pill working inside my brains settling my body, and I felt a heat inside my chest and tingles all over my arms and legs. My breath constricted but I wanted to breathe more and more and felt my hormones raged and felt the inebriation took over me as I felt dizzy and my head spun. Seconds later, I felt in ecstasy and felt the small tablet made me happy as if I was in a dream. James took my face and he kissed me, and said, "Are you okay? I'm here for you."

I felt the hairs on my arms rose up and so did the hairs on the back of my neck and my head tingled as if it was immersed in hot water. James's kisses made me yearn for more, more physical connection, more touch, and incomprehensibly, more sexual connection. The inebriation pounced my brain and throbbed my head and the pill he gave me seduced my inhibition to a high sexual drive.

 

"What did you give me, James?" I asked. "I felt so weird."

 

"Aspirin, and it's probably the sake. It makes everyone horny," said James.

 

He smiled, and stroked my shoulders and massaged me and he walked to the driver's seat and sat next to me. He took my body and raised it as he squeezed himself underneath me and we cuddled inside his car on the passenger seat.

 

My arms and legs felt frozen as I was drunk, and I didn't know what happened to my body and my headache, but my head spun violently. I couldn't move, but wanted to be physically close to him. James stroked my neck and kissed me, and cupped my breast and took his hand underneath my shirt, and began to assault me.

 

My sexual drive was so high that I was silent and the violent headache incapacitated my mind as my body wanted the sexual interactions. I knew my brain was drunk from the sake as my vision blurred and his fondling twisted my soul. Was this rape?

"You're so hot, Ursula. Sex kitten, hot," said James.

 

He took off my leggings and exposed me, then laid himself over me as the undulating motion made me queasy, drowsy, confused and feeble. I was tired, my body was tired and my mind was tired, but James wasn't. He kept his sexual drive high as he had sex with the version of me with the pill, what I suspect was the Viagra, the sexual medicine to increase sex drive in anyone, increasing heart beats per minute, and murdering my spirit.

 

It was no different if I was inside a Dodge Ram, a Honda, a Mercedes or a Volkswagen, the rape was brutal for anyone. Tears rolled down my eyes as I felt the orgasm, but my mind told me I was raped. His groans made me sick and I was too distraught that I dozed off, and felt the car drive to someplace. He must not have driven far, because it stopped and the passenger car door opened. I thought it was James, letting me out, instead another man laid on top of me, heavy set, as he ripped my skirt and cupped my mouth. I opened my eyes but it was covered, and I felt strangled, and this man raped me violently, as I felt a punch on my face, with both sides of my eyes felt warm.

 

"Pinch you, Chevron," he said. I remembered inside my convoluted mind, John told me he would use a code to call anyone he hated, "Chevron," for Pinche Cabron or asshole in Spanish.

 

I tried to open my eyes, and called out, "John, is that you?" but the rape was through my body, the heavy set man shredded me from bottom to top, side to side and punched my face, as James's voice rang in my ears, "The baggage you have, is the baggage you carry for the rest of your life."

 

Darkness spun me close to death as I felt more punches on my face, and a jab to my stomach. I felt my shirt taken off, and I was naked. With my eyes closed, I tried to open it, but it was shut tight. I was asleep although my brain kept going and my body was frozen.

 

The total darkness made me cry, but the dream of me with James kept playing sexually in front of my face, as he raped me in the passenger seat. I felt sore underneath me, and I felt abused and violated. Who would be able to help me? I felt consent on my behalf because I said yes to the date and the drink, but I also never said yes to sex. Inadvertently and legally, I said no, because I was inebriated and incapable to decipher what went wrong. Was this consent, and if it was, what was the true yes? I was abused and confused and I felt it was all of my doing the whole time. Tears kept rolling down my face in the darkness as the evening lapsed on, and I felt my body dropped on the ground.

 

"So long, pendeja," said the voice of a man that was familiar, the same disturbing high pitched and annoying voice. The same man who wanted to degrade me all of his life, John, but I couldn't understand why he was here.

 

I felt a hit on the back of my head and I was in total darkness.

 

***

 

"Ursula, get up," said Jake. He shook me, and putting water on my eyes dripping it down to my face. "Wake up, this is severe."

 

I breathed in and my eyes fluttered open. I was inside his pizza shop, on a table behind the kitchen.

 

"I found you lying on the ground in front of our shop. It's six in the morning. What happened last night?" Jake asked me. His face dropped, his beard and mustache shaven and his brunette hair freshly cut. His eyes were moist, as he took some towels from the bathroom, and brought them to cover me. "Someone punched you. Your eyes are swollen, and so is your gut and your breast."

 

"I was on a date," I answered. Jake broke down and cried, and he took the pizza roller and beat it down on the ground. The handle broke off and almost hit me.

 

"I was supposed to go home, but we had sake," I told Jake.

 

"What was his name?" Jake asked me. "Was it the guy who asked you out when you were out dancing?"

 

"Yeah, and there was another man on top of me, a heavy-set man. He punched my face," I said. I was too distraught to cry, and my head still spun like a dreidle on Hannukkah.

 

"What's his last name?" Jake asked me.

 

"I don't know," I replied.

 

Jake looked to the back door, and sat on the chair as I sat up and sat on the table.

 

"You needed to care for yourself first," he said. "You were raped last night."

 

My right hand somehow found my swollen eyes and as tears rushed out, the sting from the punches finally felt real and I felt my face aged a million years out of violence.

 

"I want to take you to the hospital," said Jake. "Let's get you dressed. I have an extra t-shirt and jacket in the back office. We'll just work with what we got from now on."

 

All I could do was say, "I'm sorry Jake."

 

My shoulders hunched down to my stomach as my spirit crumbled and tears poured out. My naked body that was imperfect felt ugly and misshapen, damaged and broken, abused and violated, ripped through my skin, bloodied and mangled. I felt and heard taunts from John, my manager at the grocery store, and there were voices of ridicule from Melody and Merrick inside my head. I was trashed through the bones.

 

"How do you want to live in the future, Ursula?" asked Jake. "Is this how you want to die? I could tell you that you were close to death. You see your eyes? They're bloodied." Jake softly touched the side of my eyes and I cringed and cried.

 

"I want to die, right now. I doubt that anyone cared if I lived," I said.

 

It felt so cold and alone in this life, even with Jake in front of me.

 

"Do you think anyone cares for you?" Jake asked me.

 

"My Mom used to care," I answered. "She worked long hours and earned more money. I think she loved that more than me."

 

"I care," Jake said.

 

"I'm trash," I told him.

 

I couldn't hold myself together and sobbed.

 

Jake walked to the back office and took the t-shirt to cover me.


"Wear this, and cover yourself up. I'm calling the Broomfield PD and ambulance," he said.

 

"I don't have insurance," I said to him.

 

"They will approve you for State Medicaid anyhow, the same thing you've been doing," said Jake. "When you live like you're willing to die anytime, these things happen."

 

"I wish I had a good life," I replied.

 

"I was adopted, Ursula. It just so happened that I got lucky," said Jake. "There are a lot of us with a bad life and a bad past. You're not alone."

 

"I felt like I was made to die early," I said, with a sob story voice, all cracked and hoarse, in disbelief that Jake actually cared for me.

 

Jake sighed, and told me, "What ever life we've been handed, we have to believe there is work to be done. We can't do anything by ourselves, trust me. If anyone said they truly got successful because they did it themselves, they're lying. It always takes a village, even with a village of just two people. It's something."

 

"Where is Crystal?" I asked.

 

"She's with her son," said Jake. "We're not dating anymore. She has too much issues against you and my business. I was learning to be strong, and loyal, but I wasn't going to win with her beside me."

 

"What do you mean?" I asked. Jake's phone rang and it was the EMT from the local police department.

 

"Yes, I want to report an assault, and she's here with me," said Jake. I could hear the dispatcher on the other line asking some questions, and Jake stepped away from me to answer her.

 

"They'll be here in a minute," said Jake. "I just want you to care about yourself. That's all."

 

"I care," I answered.

 

"Good. Let's start there," said Jake, with his hands on his pelvis.

 

 

 

 

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 28, 29, 30 & 31

Chapter 28 – Ursula

 

Katy Perry's Fireworks blasted on the boombox I had with me. Jake brought me some fresh mixed music with girl power themes again. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Samantha parked her car in the parking lot in front of Jake's Pizza with Angelina inside her car. They ran up the grassy knoll leading to the street corner where I danced every Saturday morning.

 

"Ursula!" I heard a voice, that was soft against the loud music. I high kicked in the air as Katy Perry's song dissipated and turned down the volume.

 

"Hey girls, we can just talk with the music softly on," I said. "I have to work from 9 to noon today, so I thought I could dance while we talk."

 

The music was not on full volume, but loud enough to hear the rhythm to billboard dance.

 

"We're so sorry about being late," said Samantha, trying to talk as loud as she could without yelling.

 

"No problem, but I at least have to dance for 30 minutes at a time," I told her.

 

"Ursula, you still dance?" asked Angelina, breaking the ice.

 

"Absolutely! Where else can I dance for money without stripping?"  I winked. I raised the billboard, and wiggled my bottom towards the passing cars. The passing cars honked for the booty action. Samantha pumped up the stereo to full volume and Katy Perry's 'Fireworks' blasted on.

 

Ursula handed the billboard to Samantha as she laughed and began to dance with the music. The billboard puzzled her at first, only raising it up and down, and Chaplin jumping. A car honked three times at the girls on the sidewalk. Triple the applause.

 

'Do you ever feel like a plastic bag…drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?' Samantha handed the sign to Angelina, and she held one end with her hand and popped it to the opposite directions then raising it and swung it to the left and right with the rope handles behind the light billboard.

 

'You just got to ignite the light…and let it shine…' Angelina opened one arm wide and pointed to the billboard, raising it over her head and pivoted forward and backwards. She wiggled her bottom, and handed the billboard to me.


'Cuz baby you're a firework…' I straddled jumps with the billboard over my head and an old lady driving inside her car honked one long continuous horn. I loved her and blew her a kiss. I took the billboard and turned it around and around by the left rope handle over my head, as I stepped to the side, the front, the other side around about then straddle jumped for an end to the verse of the music.

 

'Boom Boom Boom…even brighter than the moon, moon, moon...' We chained our arms together, passing the billboard to each other as Ursula switched arms in the center, turning us around and high kicked in a circle.

 

As the song finished, I took the sign and Russian split in the air and landed on her feet, to a kneel forward with the billboard on her thigh. I waved to the cars passing by and multiple loud horns were my form of a standing ovation.

 

Thirty minutes quickly passed and I took a small break and turned the volume down on the stereo. We laughed and plopped down in a circle on the grass of sidewalk for the break. We faced Jake's Pizza, in case Jake got angry and wanted us to dance more and more to bring in more crowds.

 

"So, this is my other part time gig. To make ends meet. I want a MacBook Air," I told Samantha and Angelina as sweat pearls dropped on to my lap from my forehead.

 

"Should we talk now? We didn't know you're working right now," said Samantha, out of breath.

 

"It's all good, I didn't tell you anyhow," I replied. "So, what do you want to know?"

 

"Well, let's just get into it. We got word from Maria that you were in cheer once?" asked Samantha.

 

"I hope it's okay for us to ask you all these questions. You don't have to answer any of them, if you don't want to," said Angelina.

 

"Nah, it's all good," I answered. I kept waving to people in the cars passing by while lifting the sign up and down and side to side. "I was in cheer. I was squad leader actually. I guess Melody took that job now. She always had an eye for my spot."

 

"She got leader as a freshmen?" asked Angelina.

 

"Yeah, well, I was captain, and dated Merrick, he was quarterback. She got in because I was Merrick's girl at the time. I was a junior and Merrick was a senior and it would be rude for me not to take her in," I told them. "He was dreamy and I was just a poor girl with no money, but real cute. Don't you think I'm still cute?" I posed for them with my right chin touching my right shoulder. My petite figure didn't imply fragility, and I wanted the girls to know that although I was a high school drop-out, I was still toned and strong from dancing as Jake's Billboard Master.

 

"You're definitely gorgeous," said Angelina.

 

I loved her compliment. I haven't heard one in a long time.

 

"Were you both in love? I hope it's okay for us to ask you this," asked Samantha.

 

"No worries. I was in love. He was in it for the sex. He had a voracious appetite for it. I couldn't satisfy him sometimes," I told the girls. "We would meet after school or after practice, and just do it in his car or in the bathroom. He had an SUV, so we had plenty of space in the back." The corners of my eyes are moistened as she recalled the past. "I felt like a slut sometimes, and so when Merrick kept wanting more, it was hard for me to go back to the good girl I was supposed to be."

 

"Condoms?" asked Samantha.

       

"Oh yeah, I can't get pregnant early. I was on birth control pills and he doubled up," I confided. "One time, after a real good number, I gave him this red granite heart paper weight. To told him I loved him. I got it at a bookstore somewhere."

 

"What was his reaction?" asked Samantha.

 

"I think he took it as a sign that he could do anything to me. He knew that he could do no wrong, even though he eventually did," I said. "He wanted to see other people, and when I said no. He slapped me a couple of times. He said I was being needy."

 

"That's a crime, Ursula," said Angelina sitting cross-legged with her hands towards me, touching the sidewalk.

 

"Who cares? It was a long time ago. I don't care for what happened," I said. I leaned back, with my two hands behind me. "I'm trying to forget all those things."

 

"What happened after a few of those slaps?" asked Samantha. Her head tilted to the side, as if in curiosity.

 

"After a couple of months of him slapping me, I couldn't handle it anymore. I told him that I'll tell someone. He asked me to wait for him one night after practice. We did it in the girl's bathroom," I said. "I thought it was rough sex, but it felt like rape. I told Maria, because I felt symptoms of rape trauma and I didn't know what it was. I didn't want to be a rape victim, so I never reported, and I told Maria not to tell anyone or I'll drop-out. She told my Mom, and we got into a huge fight and I ran out." 

  

"So, he raped you?" asked Angelina. "Then you dropped out and ran away from home. Where do you live now?" 

 

My tears leaked out of my eyes again. "It felt like rape because it was really rough. I was totally hurt by it. My whole body felt really weak afterwards," I answered. "I wanted to scream. But, I didn't. I just forgot about it. Let's just say, it's really rough sex."

 

"Did you say that it was okay to rough sex you? If not, it's rape, Ursula," asked Angelina, with her elbows on her knees and he hands crossing over them. "Even if you gave him consent. If he was rough with you and raped you, after you said 'okay,' It was still rape."

 

"I don't know if rough sex with force is rape. Is it?" I asked. "Who cares? I didn't want to bother with all that stuff. I just wanted to get away from everyone."

 

"That's why you dropped out? Because he raped you, and you were scared to report?" asked Samantha.

 

"I didn't want to cause a ruckus. I got no money. My Mom and I were immigrants, we didn't have a good family, okay. I told my Mom I was going to take the GED, but she flipped out and kicked me out," I said. "I have the sorry-est family in the world. You can call them trailer park trash, whatever you want. That's what I feel like sometimes. Asian trash, that's what it feels like."

 

"Why do you think that, Ursula? Why do you think you're trash?" asked Samantha.

 

"Do you have anyone one, now? Relatives or a friend?" asked Angelina.

 

"My parents divorced because my Dad slept around. He was a mechanic and my Mom was a stay at home Mom, until she went back to school and got her nursing degree. When he left, my mom and sister and I moved to this dump near the edge of Niwot. Some dumpy old trailer ranch house," I said. "When I started high-school at Silver Creek, my Mom got a job at the gas station near the freeway. It pays the bills, but she got bitter. I hated my own Mom growing up. She just had a mouth on her."

 

I felt my eyes moist and tears crept out, although I thought I wasn't crying, … but I truly was.

 

"I just thought the world of Merrick. When I met him, he was so pretty. So clean, neatly dressed, charming, and smart. Classy. I feel so bad standing next to him and his pretty sister, Melody. But, I didn't think he'd hurt me. I just feel so bad." My chin rubbed against my left shoulder, and as I looked to the girls once more, and said, "I think he was every girl's dream."

 

Angelina and Samantha looked at each other with tears hovering in their eyes.

 

"I understand. That's how I feel about my ex-boyfriend, Collin," said Angelina. "I met Merrick, and saw who he was and what he looked like. He truly does look like a dream. I agree."

 

"I'm mostly on my own now. I was homeless for about four months after I dropped out. I didn't want to stay at home and get harassed by my mom. I took a bus to a youth shelter in Boulder. But, some girl at the shelter told me about the grocery store in Broomfield, how they're always looking for someone at the produce section. I just been working there ever since," I said. "Who cares, I don't need anyone. Anybody who needs anyone is weak." I wiped my tears with my bare hands, sobbing for a minute, then exhaling out the fears and anxiety to prevent more tears from falling.

 

"Ursula, Angelina was raped, and she needs your help. It's not because she's weak. It's because she was violated," said Samantha. The moment stood still for a few seconds. "May I give you a hug?"

 

I nodded as Samantha hugged me.

 

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," I said in realization. "I forgot I am ridiculing your rape. I didn't mean to say that you're weak. I'm sorry."

 

"You're not ridiculing anything. It's okay," said Angelina, calmly and with understanding.

 

"You're not weak and I just hugged you to calm you down," said Samantha. "It's okay to admit you need help, Ursula. Everyone needs help sometimes. Even the strongest person you know. You didn't do anything wrong."

 

"That's not what I meant," I said. "I use self-talk to tell myself that I'm not a rape victim, so I won't be afraid to be alone or feel broken inside," I fidgeted, and said, "I'm so afraid of labels such as rape victim, whore, prostitute, or easy. I slept with Merrick multiple times and I just didn't want anyone to know."

 

"Ursula. I don't know who raped me that night at the party, but I know I was raped. Also, please forgive me, I feel like I'm intruding into your life by asking all these questions," said Angelina, sitting up.

 

"Oh no, sweetie. I'm not that type of person," I said, giving Angelina a huge hug. "I just don't think I'm as raped as you."

 

"How can you say that?" asked Samantha. "What do you mean, not as raped?"

 

"Well, I mean, I didn't end up at someone else's house and got raped. Or got ambushed near some bushes in the dark. I was there, he asked me to have sex in the girls' bathroom and I said nothing. Then he raped me and he was rough, but I saw it coming," I said. "I asked for it."

 

"That's rubbish!" said Angelina, her voice trembling. "It was rape, Ursula. 'Not as raped' does not exist!" Angelina was so upset that she walked away for a second, starting to sob a few steps away from them. "You're denying the rape, Ursula."

 

"Does she cry like this often?" I leaned to Samantha.

 

"It's the side effect. She gets these crying spells now," said Samantha, looking directly into Ursula's eyes. "You're a strong girl, Ursula."

 

"Well, if you grew up in my family, you got to be," I said. "My parents don't really care for me. They just don't know what's going on in my life. I barely even talk to them before I was kicked out."

 

"It's not your fault, Ursula," said Samantha. "You didn't ask for it. It wasn't your fault. But you have to realize that running away from home and feeling anxieties, or fears, or loneliness, or broken are the symptoms of rape trauma. At least the first signs of it."

 

"If nothing is my fault, then what is?" I asked. "Listen, I don't admit to the rape, so I'm not a rape victim. I don't care if I was raped or not. I'm not letting him take the best of me."

 

Angelina looked to Ursula, and asked her, "Do you go to a psychiatrist?"

 

"Oh, hell no. There is nothing wrong with me. It's him that needs some mending!" I shouted, defiantly.

 

"You may need the therapy, Ursula. To help yourself feel better about your life. It's vitamins for your soul, especially because of Merrick," said Samantha, with a gentle voice.

 

"Nah, I'm good. I chose sex. I dropped out. It was my choice. I'm happy," said Ursula, pointing to herself, in all of the spirit of self-sufficiency and arrogance. She looked at the billboard and said, "I know I just need to work hard. Everything will come together. It wasn't my fault, but I also don't want to blame other people for choosing to have sex with him. I was the dumb girl and got tricked. I need to work my ass off now!"

 

"So, that's how Melody got captain so early," said Angelina. "Her brother pushed you out."

 

"She always had it in for me. She was always jealous for Merrick's attention. And me, being out of the relationship and the team, was like a gift to her. Merrick wanted her as captain, so everyone just agreed," I answered, with a shoulders shrug.

 

"You're a great dancer, Ursula. Were you a tumbler, too?" asked Angelina, changing the subject. "I was a flier," I answered. "I use to choreograph some of the numbers for homecoming and dance routines. I was good as a tumbler."

 

"You're extremely talented," said Angelina. "I was a flier, too."

 

"But, it all don't mean a thing now. I've got to work, honey," I said. I took the billboard, and turned around. I held the billboard in front of me and high kicked to the side. "Independence! It's bliss."

 

"Ursula, can we be your friends?" asked Samantha, in compassion.

 

I stopped for a minute, and stared at Samantha and Angelina for a moment, and asked, "Why? Because you feel sorry for me?"

 

"Because we care for you. We really do," said Angelina, "Please?"

 

"I don't want to report, if that's what you want in the future," I said, because I wanted to remain anonymous.

 

"It's not that," said Angelina. She looked towards Samantha for a second, and Samantha nodded an almost secret agreement between the two best friends.

 

"We can be your allies and help," said Samantha.

 

I turned around to face the street with indolent eyes, as cars were passing by. I looked down to the ground holding the billboard sign, and decided to reach for my cell phone.

 

"What's your cell number? I get these pre-paid cell phones, and I can use it sometimes in case I need to talk to someone. I use it mostly for crisis," I told them the truth.

 

"Thank you, Ursula. We want to be friends with you," said Samantha, wiping her tears away. Samantha pushed the buttons on her phone, as I gave her my number and my cell phone rang.

 

"Saved," I said. "I have three numbers in my cell now. Well, besides my mom's, crisis line, the grocery store and Jake's Pizza. Five numbers! Check that out!"

 

"We'll keep in touch. Are you going to stay here for long?" asked Angelina.

 

"I have to be here till noon, then I go to the store. It's a day job," I said.

 

"You're a good girl, Ursula," said Angelina. "We'll hang out more sometime."

 

"Most definitely," I said. "Remember, don't let him beat you down."

 

Tears gathered in Angelina's eyes as they rolled down her cheeks. Inside me, were words that spoke to me, as if a spirit was inside my chest, I feel beaten, Ursula. Perhaps that was what Angelina felt right now, and I felt the same, but I won't acknowledge it. I won't let Merrick drive me to a crazy house.

 

"I want you to give us a call when you're alone, or hurt, or sad, or for any reason," said Samantha.

 

"For ANY reason, give us a call," said Angelina. "Especially when you're hurting. Even text us."

 

"How did you guys get this sweet?" I asked. Their kind gesture was fresh air for my morning. "Oh, I know. You're both princesses, from Longmont with your rich family, rich houses, and rich futures." My right fingertips in the air with my eyes blinking in humor, teasing them.

 

"No, not true. I'm not rich. My Dad works at China 2000," said Angelina, giggling from Ursula's animation.

 

"What's China 2000?" I asked, almost breaking into a laugh.

 

"It's a Chinese fast food place in Silver Creek. They have good food! Szechuan style," said Samantha, wiggling her body, because she loves Chinese food.

 

"Oh boy," I said. "Well, anytime you guys want Jake's Pizza, I'm your girl."

 

"We'll take you up on that," said Samantha, both thumbs up.

 

"All right, you kids stay safe," I said. 

    

"Let's go bowling after your shift ends at six this evening," said Angelina, hugging me.

 

I almost cried to pieces, and said, "Well, give me a piece of meat, because I have friends! I can't believe it. Nobody ever invited me to anything, even in high school!"

 

Angelina and Samantha laughed out loud.

 

***

 

I sat down on the sidewalk in front of Memory Lanes in my black slacks and grocery store polo, because I didn't have time to change.

 

"Hi, Ursula," yelled Samantha from the parking lot, with her opened window from her SUV. Samantha parked her car on the first row of the parking spaces in front of Memory Lanes.

 

I smiled and waited for the girls to walk towards me. As they both hugged me, Angelina said, "I'm glad you came, I'm happy to see you for fun now."

 

"I'm so happy you girls came," I said. "I thought I was going to be stood up."

 

"Oh, we would never turn you down. You're awesome!" said Samantha.

 

"I've been stood up before," I said. "It's common for someone like me. I think people don't respect me."

 

"You're someone great. And we want to be here," said Angelina.  

     

"Ursula, you deserve respect," said Samantha.

 

"I've just been working my jobs that I don't have friends anymore. So, this is good," I said.

 

"Let's go in. I've never been here before," said Angelina, pumping up her energy for bowling.

 

Families and bowling leagues filled Memory Lanes to the last rows of lanes on a Saturday evening.

 

"Let's do two games and we can go from there?" said Angelina, as she walked to the shoe-rental cashier.

 

"Oh yeah, the first game is warm up for me," said Samantha. "I've bowled once before, but I'm so damn good. Trust me."

 

I laughed out loud. "I'm not a good bowler, but I used to bowl with Merrick, a long time ago," I said.

 

"Oh, you must be much better than me," said Angelina. "I'll get some fries, with Diet Cokes? Pepsi?"

 

"Pepsi, for me," I said. "I can pay my own. Don't worry."

 

"We wanted to take you out, Ursula. Let us treat you. You've been so kind to share with us your life. We were just random girls you barely knew, and you trusted us," said Angelina. "We just want to love you."

 

Samantha gave me a huge hug as Angelina walked towards the bar area where she ordered the bucket of fries and two Diet-Cokes and a Pepsi.

 

"I'm surprised you don't have anyone, Ursula," said Samantha. "Was it because of what happened?"

 

"Well, I lost everyone after Merrick broke it off, and I just didn't feel right calling the other cheerleaders. They were mostly Merrick's fans, and I know they all voted for Melody to get into the team without me," I said. "All of the cheers were all into Merrick, too. I was seen as the poor girl with no future without Merrick."

 

"Exclusion is rough. Did you feel isolated?" asked Samantha. "I know Angelina was excluded by the team. She would feel isolated if I'm not here."

 

"I don't care about them anymore," I said.

 

"Exclusion is a form of bullying, so you don't want to be around them. They're not healthy. Sometimes bullying is a form of secondary victimization often after a rape victim shares her experience or if somehow other people knew about the rape," said Samantha.

 

The shoe rental attendant gave Samantha our shoes and Samantha gave me my pair. Samantha took the bill and I looked to her with a slight smile, because for once, someone was generous to me and wanted to explain what the truth was to me.

 

I never knew any of the victimization concepts without someone as generous as Samantha and Angelina. I felt I had knowledge, privilege and information that was more valuable as a woman. It was street smarts, education, and enlightenment to me. For once, I felt cared for.

 

"You're so sweet, Samantha," I said. "You didn't have to get the bill."

 

"No worries. Angelina and I wanted to pay for you," said Samantha. "I'm a friend, Ursula. You have us and don't be embarrassed about being homeless."

 

I stood still, grateful and humbled.

 

"I know, doesn't it feel good?" said Samantha, smiling from ear to ear. "You know, it's not that hard to be nice to people. I just think that violence could be diffused with just some awareness. Just know, that what's unkind will hurt. So, I just try to love, even with my own reservations on others, or certain religions, or backgrounds, or even through my own judgements…to just be kind and love everyone. Ursula, I don't want you to have sex with a man in the future and think it is love. Love is not sex, and sex is not love."

 

"Did you tell Merrick how you felt after he broke it off?" asked Angelina, walking back with a tray of large curly fries, two Diet Cokes and a Pepsi in her hand. We walked to the end lane, to pick out our shoes and bowling balls.

 

"I told Merrick I was really hurt by what happened that night. But, he convinced me that it was mutual. He was right, I didn't say no," I said. "He even taped me saying it."

 

"Let's get some neon bowling balls," said Angelina. "Taped you, huh?"

 

Samantha came back with a hot pink ten pounder ball, and was ready to set the standard for the lane.

 

"Okay, I want to be second. So, I get to feel the energy," said Samantha.

 

"What energy?" I asked, confused.

 

"The bowling energy, there is an art to it," said Samantha, rolling her shoulders, warming-up.

 

"She thinks there is energy to everything," said Angelina, almost cracking up. "She thinks Target and Walmart have different energy and she hunts for certain items for herself only at those two stores because each item has different energy….and,..."

 

"Shut up!" said Samantha. "Trust me, just trust me. Even bowling, there is an energy to it."

 

"I see. I'll be first. If you don't mind, Angel," I said. "I wonder what my 'energy' is."

 

I bowled the way Merrick taught me, with full force and a straight arm while twisting the 12 pounder just a soft bit. It hit a strike. Angelina and Samantha looked at each other, and they started giggling. "Not a good bowler I see," said Angelina, laughing.

 

"You have 'Turbo' energy," said Samantha with a laugh. Samantha was next and landed a gutter ball. She raised her arms and told her, "I'm still aiming high. I don't care what that ball did. I'm relentless," said Samantha. "It's all about perception. I'm just good at not hitting anything!"

 

Angelina also landed a gutter ball, and started laughing. Witnessing these girls have so much fun landing gutter balls, I couldn't help but to start laughing with them.

 

I never fathomed the idea of friendship blossoming, especially after Merrick. I never knew a Sunday could be fun, and of all the things, it was with two girls from the high school where I was once an outcast. Sometimes when good things happened, I could only enjoy the moment. I felt the sensation to just live, breathe, and love.

 

"Hey, girls, I need to ask you something," I said, suddenly.

 

"Yeah, go ahead," said Angelina.

 

"Is it some bowling terms? Because you already know the answer," said Samantha.

 

I smiled for a moment, and asked, "It's something a little more serious. Why did you guys come to me? That night at the grocery store."

 

"What do you mean?" said Samantha. Angelina bowled her turn, as her face grew stern.

 

"Well, I wanted to meet you because of Maria," said Samantha.

 

"What was the real reason?" I asked.

 

"I needed your help because I didn't know what happened to me," said Angelina.

 

Angelina was transparent, and told the truth.

 

"I was going to ask you to help with the report," said Angelina, honestly.

 

"I see," I said. "That's what I want to talk about."

 

"Yeah, I got it. What do you feel, Ursula?" asked Samantha. "Be honest. I don't want you to suffer again. I know it was a life changing experience, two years ago."

 

"I don't want to report," I confided. It was too much for me to handle, on top of being homeless.

 

"Can you explain? So, I will understand?" Angelina asked.

 

"I hope it was okay for us to meet you. I am so sorry, it was my idea to go find you," said Samantha.

 

"I'm happy you found me. I want to be friends with you," I said, tears flushing from my eyes. "I just can't report because I'm struggling. I'm struggling so bad, that I work two jobs to make ends meet, and I know I have mental illness."

 

"We understand," said Angelina. The bowling was on hold for a moment, to let the conversation explained my situation.

 

"When I was kicked out and went homeless. I just didn't want to live anymore, and I didn't want to ask anyone for help. It was really embarrassing. I tried to talk to Merrick, but he thinks I'm a whore. I felt like a dirty tampon that people throw away," I said.

 

"Tell us," said Angelina, accepting my brokenness and letting me vocalize my thoughts.

 

"I just feel like garbage next to Merrick. He's everything I wanted. When he asked me out, I felt like a princess, and I've never been a princess. I grew up so poor on welfare and my Mom, she has her issues, and so did my Dad. So, I pretty much took care of myself," I said. "I was so lucky to meet Merrick. He had a lot of appetite for sex, but that's how he shows his love for me. I just didn't think he would be rough with me that night. That's all. It wasn't all the time, just sometimes, and I never said no, because if I said no, he might go away."

 

"You're not trash, first of all," said Angelina. "You shouldn't feel ashamed about giving in to Merrick. It happens to a lot of women. We often get the physical and emotional and spiritual confused. It was a gut feeling that wasn't explained well to us as a woman."

 

"We're royalty, Ursula. We have the physical quality as gods, and those who are born with less, are still spiritually in the same quality level as gods. It doesn't matter what type of background we grew up in. Women deserve to be treated as royalty, like princesses and queens. We deserve to be treated well," said Samantha. "Merrick is lucky he had you as a girlfriend. He's not good enough for you. He had money, I understand, but money doesn't explain his behavior. His heart and his mind explained it, and those qualities were not from a good heart nor a good mind."

 

"I can't report because I know I'll be in more trouble," I said, as my sobbing worsened. "What if they found him not guilty? Then, I have to live with the record that I'm a rape victim? I'm a runaway, and I was homeless. People don't believe runaways or poor girls, homeless people, especially homeless teens. I'm not credible. People will think I'm a waste of society."

 

"We understand. We don't want you to feel more pain, Ursula," said Samantha, holding my hands.

 

"You don't have to do anything. We can just hang out. Is that okay?" asked Angelina, holding my shoulder.

 

"I know people think I'm the whore who slept with Merrick. That I deserve to feel this way, but...," I said, sobbing. "It is so hard to play this part. I don't think it's fair for me. I am beaten by the world. Somehow, I felt so lucky that Merrick was handsome and rich and wanted me. Even if it was for sex. I still felt lucky."

 

"Ursula, may I say something," said Samantha, sitting on the floor, holding on to my calves. "Ursula, we're entitled to respect, safety, security, justice, freedom, health and love. What he did was inhumane, do you understand? He treated you like an object, some kind of candy that can be thrown away, but humans shouldn't be thrown away. We all deserve the opportunity to grow, to live, to have the pursuit of happiness and the chance to have a good life."

 

I looked to Samantha for a moment and nodded in affirmation.

 

"You too, Angelina, never stoop to their level, and think that it was you, who should be blamed for their crime. There are a lot of people who would abuse others. The Johnsons were abusive. What they did was wrong, and who knows what else they do behind our backs," said Samantha, still holding my calves. "You're not a waste to society. You're working hard, Ursula. It is our human right to be treated kindly, to never be harmed, and to never be raped, to never be swindled, or sabotaged, abused, harassed, or stalked. That's part of being human, having human rights."

 

"I just think it was my fault," said Ursula. "I didn't say no. Then, that means I said 'okay'."

 

"You don't have to feel ashamed because you gave in during sex," said Angelina. "I was at a party too and I feel like it's my fault because I drank, but it wasn't. You're not at fault, Ursula. Even if you were having sex with him. You gave in because of fear. You didn't have the sexual relationship with him because there was a healthy mutual agreement, it was based on force and violence. It was a domestic violence relationship. It was what it was."

 

"He still didn't have the right to rape you. Ursula, what he did was a violation against your right. Even if you gave him consent to have sex with you every day. Do you know how many wives are beaten and raped by their husbands? Those wives gave them consent to sex, but they are still being violated," said Samantha. "I don't want my girls to think that they're garbage because some guy hurt them, and made them feel bad. I don't want that. I don't want the enemies to win. I want us to win. I think they should be in jail." Samantha pointed her finger to the ground, to finalize her statement.

 

"I know, but I can't relive that episode of my life. I'm so sorry," I said, afraid the girls will keep pressuring me to report the crime. "I just can't report. Please understand. Please..." I covered my eyes and sobbed.

 

"No worries. I'm not here to tell you to report. We wanted to meet you, because all these times, we think Melody and Merrick were like gods," said Samantha. "I thought they were so beautiful. But, the truth is, they're criminals."

 

"I trusted them so much, Ursula. I didn't anticipate any of the things that happened to me," said Angelina.

 

"I went through so much, and I don't have anyone right now. If my Mom found out that I was raped, she will never let me visit my sister again," I said. "She's the only family I have. I can't be so alone that even my family won't see me. I can't function. I just can't."

 

"We understand. We don't want you to feel alone," said Angelina. "Can you keep in touch with us? I'd like to keep in touch."

 

"Me too," said Samantha. Samantha gave me another bear hug, as I cried inside her arms.

 

"Merrick was my first," I said. "He was my first everything. My first kiss, my first sex, and my first heartbreak. I haven't met anyone since. I am so scared because I was told that rape victims don't get married."

 

"You take your time," said Angelina. "I didn't know what happened to me, Ursula. I was drugged, baby. We were hurt."

 

"We'll keep you in our hearts, Ursula. You're a baby still. We're still so young," said Samantha, taking some of the napkins from the food tray and giving them to me.

 

"Yeah. I figure I can fix it with time," I said, wiping my nose with the napkins.

 

"Yes, you can," said Angelina. "I'm getting therapy, and on medicine right now."

 

"I'm not on anything. I just don't have that kind of money. But, I have the crisis line," I said.

 

"You don't have benefits?" asked Samantha.

 

"No, it's just part time and I work at Jake's part time too. It's been hard. I'll try to get full time at the grocery store," I said. "I need to ask them today. I can't afford insurance on my own."

 

"You call us whenever you want, Ursula," said Samantha. "You can get Affordable Health Care through the State or Medicaid."

I nodded and said, "Thank you for understanding." Samantha and Angelina sat next to me, letting me call the situation on what I wanted to do next.  

 

"Let's bowl ladies," I said, shaking my head to get ready to strike a Turkey with my neon ball for the next turn.

 

 

 

Chapter 29 – Angelina

 

My cell phone vibrated and rang underneath my blanket as I searched for it with my eyes closed. It was still dark outside and the windows were still shut in my bedroom.

 

"You have an emergency?" I asked, groggy and yawning, under the covers.

 

"No, but I'm picking you up in 15 minutes. We're going for a hike!" said Ichabod, on the phone.

 

"NOW?!" I said, waking up to a surprise.

 

"Yes! Yes! YES!!! Wake up! Wake up!" said Ichabod, as he hung up the phone immediately.

 

I rolled to my side and fell on the floor with my blanket over me.

 

Ichabod arrived at my door in his cargo shorts and a t-shirt. My hair was still messy and uncombed as I tried to straighten out my compression shorts that I put on too quickly.

 

"Hey, you got here really quick," I said. I pulled my hair back in a pony-tail and put on sunscreen on my face. I yawned but was awake enough to show Ichabod the inside of our apartment.

 

"Come in. Meet my Dad for a minute," I said, walking to the kitchen to prepare some oatmeal and milk.

 

"I have some sports bars. Can we eat in the car?" asked Ichabod. "I want to get there early before the sunshine hits."

 

"Okay," I said, turning to Ichabod. I saw my Dad near the kitchen with his messy hair, scratching his leg and yawning because it was 5 a.m in the morning. "Papa, this is Ichabod, my friend from school."

 

"Hi, Ichabod. Funny name for a boy," said my Dad, Tom.

 

Ichabod laughed, and waved to say hello. "Thanks, it's a happy name," he said.

 

"Funny response," said Tom, staring at Ichabod.

 

"We're going to the Royal Arch," said Ichabod.

 

"Where is that?" asks Angelina.

 

"Boulder, Chautauqua Park. Not too far," said Ichabod. "Do you have a water bottle? Fill it up and we'll bring it for the hike. I have some snacks for us."

 

"I have one," I said, filling up the water bottle with tap water and ice from the fridge.

 

"Nice meeting you, Mister Lee," said Ichabod, walking out of the townhome.

 

"See you soon, Papa. I got the celly," I said.

 

"Don't break a bone," my Dad said. He locked the door.

 

"I guess Ichabod is a funny name for anyone," I said. Ichabod laughed.

 

 

A young man was walking his golden retriever up the mountain, with his backpack leading his dog on the leash. Ichabod parked his car in the parking lot in front of the ranger station. Baseline path was mainly dirt and rocks, with the steep walk that might be rigorous for anyone without the fond for cardio exercise.

 

"Wow, haven't climbed this path in a while," I said with a slight huff and puff on the way up the mountain, nearing the first large rock.

 

Ichabod looked like he didn't break a sweat. I breathed out from annoyance, because since I quit cheer, my stamina dwindled to normal. We were in silence as if Ichabod was walking in meditation and prayers. We reached the first resting stop with the sign that said "no leaning" nailed on wooden railings behind the shrubs and trees.

 

"I can't believe hiking is so hard right now," I said.

 

"We're almost near Bluebell, just another quarter of a mile," said Ichabod. He sucked out a little water from his Camelbak tubing. "Drink your water."

 

"Yeah," I said, drinking the water from her bottle.

 

Ichabod gently took my left hand and walked with me up the mountain.

 

Ichabod stopped to look at me, and said, "Close your eyes for a minute." I closed my eyes and he asked me, "May I kiss you?"

 

I smiled, and answered, "Yes."

 

Ichabod kissed me on my lips, a small supple kiss.

 

"Thank god, I brushed my teeth this morning," I said.

 

"Thank goodness, because I won't get over it," said Ichabod.

 

I smiled and leaned into his chest, taller over me as he hugged me inside his shoulders. I felt attraction, chemistry and a magical connection by a tragedy that we won't ever understand. 

         

"Do you think about your future often?" asked Ichabod.

 

"Yes. I'm just so afraid," I said. "I don't know how to handle the simplest things now. I cry so much. I'm taking medicine to help me with it. So that helps."

 

"I'm proud that you're taking your medicine every day," said Ichabod. "Let's go this way. This first part is just rocks and a lot of bouldering over them. Don't look down if you're afraid of heights, just look forward and keep talking to me."

 

I faced forward with Ichabod leading the way, and I was ready for more adventure.

 

The morning was perfect for a hike, with a slight chill that cooled the skin, as we burned some energy for the exercise.

 

"Can I ask you another question?" asked Ichabod.

 

"Go ahead,"

 

"Do you know what you want in life?"

 

"I know I've been hurt, and I've thought about that the other day. I just want to do my life well."

 

"What if you make a mistake? I mean, not that you will, but you've gone through a major tragedy. Not everything is perfect," asked Ichabod.

 

"Well, the way I see it. I have more room to grow with doing everything right than doing something wrong. One can attempt for perfection, right?" I said. "I don't want to make any more mistakes from now on."

 

The rocks became larger and steeper, with less dirt and more bouldering, requiring more agility and the indomitable will to keep going.

 

"Let's rest for a minute," Ichabod said, as he looked up to the sky.  He sat on a huge rock on top of a path with Angelina near the bottom of the rock on the dirt. "Climb up here, sit with me."

 

We sat together, enjoying the warblers chirping and the soft crisp breeze of the morning air in Boulder.

 

"I just worry sometimes," said Ichabod. "I worry about "perfection."

 

"Why?" I asked. "If I aim for perfect, then nothing can go wrong."

 

"I don't want you feel horrible, if you don't become perfect again,"

 

"I don't understand."

 

"I don't want you to have so much pressure that it hurts you."

 

"That's wise of you."

 

"Angel, I know something," said Ichabod, with his eyes tearing. "I'm odd."

 

"You're cute, Ichabod. Not odd," I said, looking to the skyline above Chautauqua Park.

 

"Cute, not hot?" joked Ichabod. I grinned.

 

"Okay, hot," I said, slapping his arm.

 

"I like cute better," Ichabod said. He kissed my forehead as I leaned into his chest and hugged him. "I sometimes have episodes."

 

"What do you mean? The same episodes I get? The crying spells?" I asked.

 

"No, it's hard to explain," said Ichabod. He looked ahead to where the large Ponderosa Pines soared high towards the sky, the natural ambiance of Colorado. "I have seven senses."

 

"What do you mean? Like a mutant?" I asked.

 

His eyes flooded with tears, as I held him, sinking into the deep sensory of love blooming.

 

"No, not a mutant. I get visions and prophecies."

 

"What kind of visions?"

 

"Of angels."

 

"Like deities?"

 

"Yes. I can sense things, and sometimes I can feel particular events before it happens," said Ichabod. "So often times, they're tragedies or just..."

 

"Horrible things?" I asked, trying to understand him.

 

"Yes, but you can't tell anyone. You're the second person that I saw in my visions," said Ichabod. "The first was Leona, and I saved her life. Then, you came."

 

"You saw the rape? Is that what you're telling me?" I asked, my voice broke apart as I looked into his eyes intensely.

 

"Those angels I see are my guardians," said Ichabod, as he suddenly stood stiff and nodded. He breathed in and stepped in front of me.

 

"What? Oh, the angels, are your guardians. That's great, what's wrong?"

 

"One of them is here right now," said Ichabod.

 

"Oh, that's a good thing. Is he loving?"

 

"Yes, they're loving, they're protecting us."

 

"That makes me feel better."

 

"It does?"

 

"Of course, it does. I know some things happen for a reason. For instance, my name, Angelina, and how you just told me that you can see angels. It's a good sign. A divine sign."

 

"I'm imperfect," said Ichabod. "I have to tell you that. They're telling me what to say to you."

 

"What else did they say to you?" 

 

"Angel, you should embrace life, one day at a time," said Ichabod.

 

Ichabod finally exhaled and faced to the ground and placed his hands on his knees as if he was feeling an emotional relief.  

 

"Is this because you're imperfect?" I asked.

 

"Allow some flexibility. I don't want you to be perfect, that you criticize yourself," said Ichabod.

 

"Tell me what you saw about me in your visions," I asked, finally realizing that Ichabod could see divination, to save lives and souls, to help and to heal. Perhaps he was my Angel and I was his.

 

"I felt the attacks in my body, when you were being hurt," said Ichabod. "I was there, at Creekside Hospital. You drove there yourself."

 

"You saw me there? Did you know who I was?"

 

"No, but I was there because I felt the physical pain from the rape."

 

"I wasn't sure what to do. I was bleeding and I woke up inside a room in Melody's house," I said.

 

"I saw Merrick and his fraternity brothers hurting you," said Ichabod. We began to walk towards a rock and bouldered over it.

 

"I want to tell Officer Fineman. Can you tell him this?" I asked him.

 

"I think I can identify them, but I don't really remember them clearly. I know there were other men with him."

 

"We have to tell Officer Fineman," I said, reaching for my cell phone in my pocket.

 

"Fineman," The Officer answered his cell phone.

 

"Officer, my friend would like to meet you today. We have to meet you today. It's about the rape," I said.

 

"Well, I'm in the station right now, if you want to...," he says, "Hello?"

 

We immediately returned to the parking lot, to meet Officer Fineman

 

 

We ran inside the police station, and saw the officer sipping his coffee.

 

"Good morning," said the officer, startled.

 

"Officer, sorry to just show up. I want to add to my statement," I said, slightly out of breath. "This is Ichabod, he has something to say."

 

I pulled Ichabod to face the officer, but his eyes bulged out of fear from him.

 

"I had a dream about the rape and Merrick raped her with three other men at the party," Ichabod blurted out quickly, then stood with his back against the door, as if he wanted to escape from the room.

 

"A dream? Angelina is this your added statement?" asked the officer, with one eyebrow up.

 

"You can't discount karma!" I said, a little loudly than usual. "Ichabod's telling the truth. There were three other men. Ichabod had visions of them, and we ended up at the same hospital."

 

"I have a lead, but how many people were there, son?" asked the officer, rubbing his forehead.

 

 "I think there were three, but I saw two clearly, Merrick and another friend or his, Cliff," Ichabod said, leaning against the door, staring at Officer Fineman's badge.

 

"That's fine son, I will add it on, but I really couldn't do a thing because of who they are," said the officer. "There is no real evidence. I can't investigate them based on a dream."

 

"I didn't lie," Ichabod said.

 

"Officer, we're going to work on the fraternity men and see if we can some kind of evidence," I said.

 

Ichabod looked to me, and said, "Yes, I think we can get some evidence."  

     

"I understand. I'll just...wait for time," said Officer Fineman.

 

"Thank you, officer, sorry to bother you this morning," I said.

 

"Thank you, sir," said Ichabod, opening the door, anxious to walk out.

 

"No problem," said Officer Fineman walking the two teens out of his office.

 

Ichabod practically ran outside of the Silver Creek Police Department.

 

"Angel, I don't want you to think I'm some kind of nut. Don't tell anyone about what I told you at Royal Arch. Please?" pleaded Ichabod.

 

"No worries. I'm happy I'm not the only one feeling critical about this. They want something to control over. I wonder what they wanted from me?" I said. "I think Officer Fineman needs something tangible for him to hear or see to make an arrest."

 

"Well, I want to invite you to Leona's house on tomorrow. She wanted to know if you'd agree to a healing therapy bath," said Ichabod. "I will talk to the Fantasy Club. I have something planned."

 

"Yes, on the healing bath. I trust her. Should I invite my dad?" I asked.

 

"Yes, he needs to be there," said Ichabod. "Let's get out of this Police Department neighborhood. It gives me the creeps."

 

 

 

Chapter 30 – Ichabod

 

 

The football team stood around the same table at the southeast corner of the cafeteria. Melody was sitting on the table, in her short-pleated skirt, straddling Collin between her legs.

 

"You're so hot," said Melody. She kissed him passionately, as he held her around her waist and inserting his tongue inside her mouth.

 

I waited in line to pay for a box of pizza, but couldn't help to glance at the new couple, tongue twisting in public. I reached the front of the line and walked to the exit door, but stopped behind the wall, to peek at Collin and Melody, silently.

 

I watched for every expression on Collin's face. I wiped my tears, as I saw him smile. The smile that still swooned Angelina before the rape. Collin high fived his team mates after he was done kissing Melody, as Melody puts on her lip gloss, and brushed her hair.

 

A bittersweet emotion overtook me as I now won't care for Merrick, Melody or Collin because Angelina was my girl. Tears pour out as I walked upstairs to meet Samantha, Angelina, and Sunjit.

 

"I have good news," said Angelina when I got there with my tuna sandwich.

 

"Yeah? Tell us," said Samantha, biting into her grilled cheese.

 

"Melody has herpes?" asked Sunjit, jokingly. Samantha threw a napkin at Sunjit.

 

"No, it's not about Melody. It's about me," said Angelina. "I forgive them all."

 

Sunjit, Samantha, and I were baffled as our jaws met the floor.

 

"Did they say sorry to you?" I asked.

 

"I want Collin to be happy," said Angelina. "Maybe the break up was as sign for me, that he wasn't perfect for me."

 

"Maybe, you're not meant for him," said Samantha.

 

I smiled, because Angelina's loving and forgiving heart was auspicious of a peaceful future in her life.

 

"You have a pure heart, Angelina," said Sunjit. "It's like seeing strawberries in my yogurt, that's how sweet it feels." Sunjit spooned a pink dollop of strawberry yogurt into his mouth.

 

I saw a wooden staff behind Angelina, as Archangel Raphael stood behind her, listening to her decision to forgive all of her enemies.

 

"I don't want to blame Collin for the rape, because he never hurt me. I don't want to know Melody and Merrick, although I felt they had something to do with the rape," said Angelina. "I don't want to look back fifty years from now, and still hate them. I want to get over it. I'm just going to release all these hate out of me. Take it away from me! Be gone!"

 

Archangel Raphael took his wooden staff and raised it over Angelina. A light puff of smoke lifted out of Angelina's soul. Then as Raphael swayed it away, Angelina opened her eyes in surprise.

 

"Wow, I felt a huge burden lifted off me," said Angelina. "I really felt something come out of me. Wow."

        

I saw Raphael smiled at me and I nodded as he disappeared.

        

Angelina said, "I forgive them for being criminals."

        

"Angelina, you really surprised me," said Samantha.

        

"Forgiveness is a healthy gesture, my friend," said Sunjit. He reached for Angelina to give her a hug. "I know it was hard, but you sure showed me who you are."

        

Tiny bursts of freshness sent a smile to my face. "You really did forgive them," I said, as I felt a sensation of peace over me.

        

"It's not that hard, the forgiveness. I just want Collin to be happy, that's all," said Angelina. "Besides, I'm happy I have someone, too." Angelina smiles at me, and I sat closer to her, wrapping my legs around her, hugging her whole body from behind.

        

"Samantha, I want you to go to prom," said Angelina.

        

"I know, I'm just scared. I don't want to feel so odd in a dress when I've been wearing jeans for my entire life now," said Samantha.

        

"We can wear jeans together," said Sunjit. "We can wear jeans to prom! Who cares about the attire?"

 

Samantha looked to Sunjit, as his eyes longed for her.

 

"I'm still thinking about it, Sunjit," said Samantha. "But, we won't be wearing jeans."

 

Sunjit looked down at his pizza, and replied, "I'll wait for you. Take as long as you need, baby."

 

***

 

The stroll to Leona's cottage around the corner was short and brisk, under the evening moon after dinner. Leona prepared her living room for the ceremony, moving her furniture aside, closer to the walls creating more space in her living room to become the meditation area. Her cottage was dainty with scented candles everywhere, matching furniture and beautiful paintings of Colorado on every wall in every room. The smell of jasmine emanated throughout her house.

 

"Are these from your garden?" my Mom asked, referring to the yellow roses on a side table next to her couches.

 

"They are. Lovely aren't they?" said Leona.

 

"So, Tom is coming," I told Leona.

 

"I will be here, with you," said Archangel Michael to Leona. I smiled, but didn't say a word to Leona.

 

"Who's Tom? And who is this angel I felt near me," asked Leona. She took a few of her candles from the dining room to surround the living room, placing them on the side tables, the coffee table, and the mantle above the fireplace. "Please be kind." Leona looked into Michael's eyes, as if she knew him in a prior time. 

 

"Tom is Angel's father," my Mom said. "I haven't met him yet, either, but he needs to be a part of this. He's a secondary survivor and he needs as much support as she does."

 

"I agree," said Leona. "I'm getting the teapots for the ceremony."

 

The doorbell rang, and my Mom opened it to let Tom and Angelina inside.

 

"Hi, Ichabod," said Tom. I gave him a hug, although he didn't expect the hug. He patted me on my back, as I hugged him around his stomach.

 

Tom laughed, and said to me, "Your parents must be so affectionate."

 

"I am," said my Mom, reaching for a handshake. In surprise, Tom shook her hand, and was mesmerized by her beautiful face.

 

"Pleased to meet you. You're so pretty. I mean….thank you for inviting me," said Tom.

 

"Oh, it was Leona's idea," said my Mom. Leona came into the living room from her kitchen, with a silver tray of two clear teapots.

 

"It was my idea," said Leona, placing the silver tray on the coffee table. "Leona. I'm Ichabod's adopted aunt."

 

"Tom. Angelina's father," said Tom, still smiling, and staring at her.

 

Archangel Michael stood in between Tom and Leona, and suddenly took Tom's head and directed it to my Mom. Tom smiled and so did my Mom.

 

"I'll show Angel around the house," my Mom said. "Tom, please come."

 

"My pleasure," said Tom. "I like Ichabod. Thank you for doing all this for Angel."

 

"I've had my suffering. She makes me feel important and I'm happy to help. Victims of violence needs all the support we need," said Leona.

 

After the short walk around the garden outside, Leona gathered everyone around the living room.

 

"Your house is so pretty, Leona," said Angelina.

 

"Thank you, Angelina, and you also need to know how beautiful you are, Angel," said Leona. She embraced Angelina with a hug. "Let's sit in a circle on the floor. Angel, you sit in the middle of the circle and I will give you directions as to what to do."

 

Leona turned off the lights in the living room. My Mom and I sat next to each other, and Tom sat a few distance away from us and Leona sat at the opposite end of the circle, all on the living room floor. The only source of light was from the candles around the room, dimming with serenity.

 

"Let's close our eyes and just breathe," said Leona. Everyone breathed in and out, slowly, gently, softly, sitting in silence, waiting for instructions from Leona. "Let's introduce ourselves and how you feel today. Angelina, please speak first, then we'll start with Jenni."

 

Angelina began to speak, "My name is Angelina Lee, and I have several emotions today. First, romantic because Ichabod took me hiking in Boulder yesterday and I was so happy that he kissed me."  

 

Tom's eyes opened wide to look at me, but I smiled at him as Tom closed his eyes again and shook his head.

 

"I also feel scared that I am going to high school with a long list of things that I have to be careful for and to be fearful of. I know there will be things that I can't handle. I feel that I can't look forward to the future, as bright as it used to be."

 

The outer circle sat in silence, as Angelina took a moment to breathe. She sat in the middle with comfort and safety, but tears mounted up, and she began to cry from her own thoughts of what she was about to say to everyone.

 

All eyes were closed, and everyone sat comfortably and at ease, accepting Angelina and her emotions at this time.

 

Angelina began to speak again, and said, "I feel betrayed. I think they planned all of the things that happened to me. I feel like a guinea pig. An experiment. Where they get to violate me for a purpose, and I have to live with the suffering from their abuse. I think it's unfair, sadistic, and prejudice of them to pick me, out of no reason at all. I've never hurt them, and I will never hurt anyone."

 

Angelina was in tears, but she slowly breathed in. "I deserve justice. I think they deserve punishment. I hate myself, and what I have to endure. I am scared that I will hurt myself, and can't cope with my own life. I am so young, but I feel like I will not be able to enjoy my youth, because I have rape trauma, or Post -Traumatic-Disorder now. I feel so damaged."

 

"Everyone, how do you feel about Angelina as a human being?" asked Leona.

 

"I love you," said my Mom, Jenni.

 

"I loved going hiking with you," I said. "I want to know you more and more, Angel."

 

The tears poured out, as everyone was ready to utter positive words of encouragement.

 

"I will protect you and back you up, Angel," said Tom.

 

"I think you are beautiful girl, Angel," said Leona. "You have a whole lifetime and endless opportunity on your side. God is on your side. You are in the right."

 

Compassion filled the room, and the energy that exuded from the Circle of Love was of acceptance and support, although no one hugged Angelina, but the energy in the room was a capsule of love towards her.

 

"Jenni, Ichabod, and Tom, in that order, please say how you love Angelina, and describe how you feel about her statement," said Leona.

 

"Angelina, I met you at the hospital. I know you didn't know it at the time, because you were unconscious. I loved you from the start. No reasons for the love, it was just is," said my Mom, Jenni. "I want you to heal nicely. I feel that we are here for a purpose for you. You are welcome here with me, Ichabod and Leona. We have to spend more time together."

 

"Angel, you are so beautiful, and I am so happy that I took the chance to kiss you this morning. I've wanted to kiss you since the night I saw you on the gurney at the hospital," I told her. "I know I'm not Collin. I will never be him. I am happy I am not Collin. I am happy, I am with you. I am proof for you, Angel, that although I am not as handsome or rich as Collin, I am capable to love you. Angel, and I don't want to lose you to sadness, or rape trauma or the loss of dignity that you feel. My emotion for you is growing stronger, and I don't want to lose to those negativities. I know you are brilliant, beautiful, loving and powerful. Nothing can keep you apart from love, and love will never be apart from you. Life is bright for you, and I want to see the future with you."

 

Tom opened his eyes for a moment, as he watched me wipe my tears.

 

"Tom, you take as long as you need," said Leona.

 

"Angel, I'm not used to this, and I've never done this before," said Tom. "But, I'm here for you. I love you, Angel, I am your family. I am your father who loves you with all of his heart. My heart was broken, the time you told me you were raped. But, I don't want you to feel that it was your fault. I don't blame you. I love you. I want you to be happy and successful. We will build our lives over again. I will keep sharpening your skills and logic, to help you through it. I want you to talk to me, the way you always have. I don't want you to be embarrassed to talk to me about anything, even dating and sex. I told you before that I will back you up, so I will. I love you Angel. You're all I have. You're my life, Angel. You make me feel so happy when you're happy."

 

I opened my eyes and saw Tom sobbed, and said, "I am so scared Angel, because I know things might be different with the rape trauma now, and I sometimes have fears of my own. But, I love you so much that the fear subsides. That's all I think about, how much I love you. You are my daughter, Angel and I can't lose you. I don't have anyone else in this world. Please don't ever feel that you need to hurt yourself, blame yourself, or think you are lesser than everyone else. I love you so much. I know I might be so busy and forget to say this sometimes, but sink this deep into your soul, and your mind. I love you, and I will never stop loving you. Nothing in this world can keep me away from holding you and carrying you in times of trouble. Never feel desperate or needy for love, because I have so much love for you. I want to make sure, that one day, you will be able to express and infuse so much love to others. The future is not the rape trauma. Our future is not the suffering. Our future is our skill, our intelligence, our hard work, our dedication, our love, and hope for each other. You and me, Angel. I'm always here for you."

        

The energy in the room was warm and powerful. Love exuded from each person cocooning Angelina through the Circle of Love. Leona sat silently, and focused on her turn to speak with her eyes still closed inside the circle.

 

"Angel, I know you feel that you are facing this by yourself sometimes. Everyone here is ready to be your loved ones. We are committed to be with you. We want to be your guardian angels. We can't do everything for you, but we will be here for you. In spirit, or on the phone, or in person. We don't want you to feel that you've lost your life. You've gained a lot of respect from us. You are our loved one, and you are precious in our eyes," said Leona.

 

There was an extra layer of strength surrounding the room from the supportive words. Everyone in the room accepted her, and respected her for who she was, despite what happened in the past.  

 

"I don't want to be bitter. I want to do everything right. I don't want to make another mistake, meeting wrong people, being abused by them. I'm scared because I have so many enemies, but I'm grateful that I have all of you in my life," said Angelina as she closed her eyes, and dipped her head low.

 

Leona stood up from the ground, and turned on the light. She walked to Angelina and led her out of the Circle of Love. "It is time for the healing bath. Everyone can stay here. I will take Angelina to give her the therapy bath. You can hug her and Tom can kiss her afterwards."

 

 

 

Chapter 31 – Angelina

 

Leona led me to the master bedroom, where there was a large bathtub with bubbles and warm water. "Let me make it warm for you. You can change and put on the towel first. I will massage your feet," said Leona.

 

I took off my clothes, to wrap the towel around my body. Leona's bedroom was connected to the bathroom, with a glass door shower next to a large bathtub and the marble counter vanity. Leona laid a large towel on the bathroom floor, and said, "Angel, lie down on this towel. I'm going to do some tapping."

 

I laid down on top of the towel, waiting for Leona. Leona came back with a small vial of lavender and mint oil. She took some of the oils and rubbed the bottom of my feet and pressured the sides of my big toes. She rubbed a little of it on my palm, and said, "Close your eyes. With every word I say, repeat after me. And if I breathe, you should also breathe. Inhaling all the air inside your lungs, through your nose, and breathing out through your mouth."

 

Leona began to speak, "My name is Angelina Lee, and I was raped," she said as I repeated after her. "I am, however, loved by my father and my family. I am important to them, and they love me, forever. From now on, no one is allowed to harm me, in any way, shape, or form."

 

I was open to the possibility of healing, and Leona gave this bath therapy to give a sense of purity and peace.  Leona tapped with her finger, five taps on my forehead, "I am a new person, and I am going to become a beautiful human being, and a gorgeous woman. I am capable. I am taking care of my life. I know that I can do all things through proper guidance and love."

 

Leona tapped on my temples on both sides, with her two forefingers with both hands. "I am not a product of any mistake, I am not the product of the assault. I am beautiful. And I am strong enough to know, that I can do anything through God who loves me. I will ask for help, when need be, and I will always produce love, not hate. I will overcome, because I am a conqueror. I am a warrior. I am beautifully made. I am an Angel. I am Angelina."

        

Leona rubbed the lavender and mint oil on my temples, and on my left and right upper chest, with both of her hands, and said, "I lost all of my will when the rapists took advantage of me. I won't blame myself for other people's judgments, crimes, or prejudices, because they also took advantage of my dignity. I am more precious than their crimes and I am brilliant in God's eyes." 

 

Leona breathed in and out, and I mimicked her. "I will stop analyzing my every move, instead trust on my skills that I have developed as I grow older to develop loving relationships, good communication, and self-control. I will not blame all outcomes of perils on me or others, instead to rationalize with my loved ones first, and ask my support group for help, when I feel lost and out of control. One day I will feel the absence of fear and doubt," said Leona as I mimicked her every wordsd. She rubbed some oil on my upper chest, and to the side of my waist, and as I spoke, she tapped on those spots, and breathed in an out.

        

Leona took my arms and lifted them to reveal a tender spot, a spot of trust and vulnerability, and asked me,   "May I tap on different spots on your body, Angelina?"

 

"Yes, you may," I said.

 

She tapped on the spot between my under-arms and her waist, and said, "Repeat after me, Angelina, I will be strong, and courageous with my life, forgiving myself and others when there are causes to forgive. Not letting anyone intimidate me or take advantage of me. I will verbalize my feelings and be honest about them. I will not be silent in expressing my love and my emotions, instead to let it out at the right time, for the right reasons. I will try my best to be genuine and loving. When anger strikes, I will breathe, and let the anger bubbles set aside for a moment, to calmly make my decisions."

 

Leona lifted my right arm, and tapped underneath my arm just above the towel mark, "I will try my best not to express anger physically, abusively or take advantage of anyone, or anything, to gain control. I understand my boundaries, and I will express it, because I have the human right to help myself. I do not want my boundaries to be crossed," Leona said, and she dabbed oil on her under-arms and waits and breathes in and out, as I followed her words and her breathing pattern.

 

Leona tapped the center of her belly button, and said, "I will respect myself most, and love myself first. I will be victorious, and I will succeed in life. I will release every worry during meditation, instead of letting negative thoughts consume me." I repeated after her, letting every word sink into my heart, and Leona said, "Angelina, we are letting little tingles of anti-oxidants perform neurogenesis inside your brain. Every word soothes the spirit and increases healing."

 

Leona tapped her gently with her fingers on her belly button and dabbed some oil and also on my palms.

 

Leona moved her tapping down to my left and right knees, and moved further down to the bottom of my left foot, right at the arch. Leona said, "I will count my happiness and positive decisions, as part of the plan for me. I will note every good move and write each one down if I need to. I will note my blessings each day, even the smallest details, like waking up in the morning in a good mood, or having the best ice tea in the world."

 

Leona stopped tapping to breathe in and out, and dabbed some lavender oil on my forehead and temples again. "I love myself. I am an Angel. I am Angelina Lee. And, I am perfectly made," said Leona, as I repeated her every poignant word to help myself.

 

"Angel, open your eyes," said Leona. I opened my eyes and sat upright, to face Leona with her mental health fully in serenity.

 

"Who is inside your soul?" Leona asked me, piercing deep into my eyes, as if searching for that light of truth.

 

"I am Angelina. I suppose an angel of love is inside of me," I answered.

 

"Angel, do you know what the upside of love is? It's benefits and rewards?" asked Leona.

 

"Companionship and care, that I won't be alone anymore," I said.

 

"Love makes you have more capacity to live, and the endurance to live. And the physical effects manifest inside your mind, body, and soul. The more you love, the more you will love your life," said Leona, infusing energy, and the drive to live with a good omen. "If you have LOVE inside you, you will never feel alone."

 

Leona began to cry, and said, "Hate breeds hate, Angelina. The more you hate, the more you hate living and everything in it. I want you, to feel love breeding inside your soul, because your brain will produce the right hormones, and will become happier. Love breeds love."

 

Leona took a small ceramic bowl from the bath counter, and pumped out half a cup of lotion into it, to mix it a half a cup of Epsom Salt, and some whole mint leaves she has in a jar to concoct the reflexology potion for Angelina to scrub onto her feet.

 

"Give me your feet," said Leona.

 

I sat on the floor, placing both of my feet in front of her. Leona scrubbed the potion and applied deep pressure on the center of her soles, then up and down from the top to the bottom of her soles. "Close your eyes and lay back down," said Leona.

 

I relaxed my body and felt the pressure from Leona's hands soothing her muscles. I breathed in an out, letting the soreness on my lower abdomen subside, and all of the tensions on my shoulders be gone.


"Angel, keep pursuing your life with true love in your heart. One day, all of your desires will bear fruit," said Leona, as her soft motherly voice rang wisdom, dwelling inside me. She applied the last bit of pressure, deeply on the center of her soles.

"I will keep loving, Leona," I told her, with my eyes closed.

 

"You can take a bath now. Scrub the rest of this mixture all over your body, and let it scent your whole body. I will be waiting with the others in the living room," said Leona. "Get dressed when you're done and come out. We will do the tea ceremony in the living room, with the others."

 

I felt totally loved, because someone took the time to give me so much attention, and made me feel so beautiful. "Thank you so much Leona for doing this for me," I told her.  

   

"You take a good bath, now. I've put in some more mint leaves in the water, so you will come out smelling gorgeous. Ichabod will be smiling," said Leona with a little giggle. "Angel, when you come out of the water, you are pure. You are CLEAN."

 

The water was warm and comforting, as I immersed my whole body inside the bubbly bath. The minty water soothed my soul, and the lavender oil on my forehead, temples, and palms gave me a tingling sensation that eased my tense spirit. I dipped into the water, like a little girl in my Mother's bathtub, playing with the water.

 

 

To be continued. Just write.

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 25, 26 & 27

Chapter 25 - Ursula

 

 

The benefit of working in a grocery store was that the busy time never died, turning the clock faster for me. Amongst broccolis and cauliflowers, I packed the celeries in plastic bags and checked if the bell peppers needed re-stocking.

 

"Honey, you want to go to lunch with me?" said John, holding up his sandwich bag.

 

"No, I have to take off early today. Another side gig at Jake's, so I won't take a lunch," I said.

 

"You should loosen up, chica," said John, walking behind me closely. My thin body felt inferior to his beach ball physique, and my silence fueled his confidence.

 

"You work so hard," John said.

 

He crept up behind me and touched my waist from behind and it made me uncomfortable again. I stepped a couple of feet apart to the right and he noticed how I walked away from him.

 

"Hey, I'm still a man, honey," said John.

 

"I thought you were gay," I said.

 

"Gay, straight, don't matter. Why does it matter?" he said. "You look good right now."

 

"I'm reporting you," I told him, walking to the front of the store to find the Store Manager.

 

"Baby, I'm the manager. Who are you looking for?" John said, laughing at me. "They won't believe you. You're a wreck."

 

I walked up to customer service and asked the girls behind the counter for the district manager's phone number.

The sexual harassment has been going on for the past year and this time, I will file a report because I couldn't handle John's advances any longer.

 

"Hey, what you doing, chica?" asked John, looking at me filling out the paper work for a meeting with the Human Resources while asking the customer service for the number for the district manager.

 

"I'm not putting up with your abuse. I'm telling the district manager," I said. "This is my job, Scott. You're not professional."

 

"You little bitch! You gonna get something from me!" said John. He cursed in another language that customers in the store couldn't help but to look at him.

 

"You have to be careful. He's your manager and he has a lawyer," said one of the customer service girls. "He's been here for over twenty years."

 

"It's just a complaint. They can talk to him," I told the customer service girls. "I don't have to keep it a secret anymore."


From afar, I heard him talk into his cell phone, "Hi honey, I have a favor to ask from you," John said.

 

I didn't care. It was about survival.

 

 

 

Chapter 26 - Angelina

 

 

I slid onto the passenger side and Samantha leaned over. "Okay, here's the deal. Ursula. That's who we're meeting today. We have a couple of days with no school. I called the grocery stores all around St. Vrain Valley, and I found her in Lafayette, and they said she's working today," said Samantha, making a three point turn to go back to the main road from my apartment complex parking lot.

 

"So..., she knows we're coming?" I asked, hoping inside my heart that Samantha and I weren't about to stalk a victim of violence, because it was a federal crime with intent to harm.

 

"No, but we're still going to meet her. We'll just introduce ourselves to her. Then we'll have to tell her about Melody," said Samantha. "We have to tell her what happened with you, and how we suspect Merrick and his boys did this to you."

 

"She's not going to talk to us," I replied. "We have to ask her about Merrick. Straight up."

 

"That's even worse!" said Samantha. "Break it down easy…"

        

"We have to tell her we know what happened with her and Merrick from the school nurse," I said.

 

We approached the entrance to Highway 287 and Samantha drove slowly.

 

"So we have to be honest, I agree. But, we can't just show up and tell someone that we know about her rape," said Samantha.

        

"Okay, well, we have to tell her about me first then. Just to tell her that we don't mean any harm, but we need her help," I said.

 

"Okay, I don't know if that's going to work, but I really want to meet her and tell her that we've been getting attacked at school," said Samantha.

        

The drive is smooth and there was no traffic on the way there. Highway 287 usually had cars driving up and down the highway, but there was no one in the highway this afternoon.

        

"Here is the plaza, we make a left here," said Samantha.

        

"How many grocery stores are there?" asks Angelina.

        

"Three, but we're going on the one with the Chinese restaurant in the plaza," said Samantha. "Hong Kong Palace."

        

As soon as we found a parking spot, we walked into grocery store, and Samantha approached the customer service counter.

        

"Hi, I'm one of Ursula's friends. We're here to just visit her. Do you know where she is?" I asked the customer service clerk.

        

"She's in the dairy and produce section. She should be there," said the customer service clerk.

        

"Thanks," said Samantha.

        

We walked to the produce section and in front of them stood a petite girl with short black hair with green and pink streaks in her hair, stocking eggplants on to the vegetable shelves. Her fair skin made her complexion almost gaunt and gothic. She wore the store uniform, a blue t-shirt with black pants and a black apron. She had black nail polish on her fingernails and a pair of skeleton earrings.

        

"I thought you said she was Filipino?" whispered Samantha. "She looks Latina." I shrugged my shoulders and Samantha was quiet for a minute, debating whether or not to approach the girl who might be Ursula. The petite girl turned around, as her red eyes looked swollen from crying. We both wanted to speak but were too nervous.

 

"Does it matter? She's one of us," I said. Samantha held my shoulder and we stood behind Ursula, as she lowly turned towards us.

        

"Hi, is there anything I can help you with?" she asked, softly. "Kale is not here yet. We still have them in the back. Just let me know and I'll get it for you." She lifted the carrots plastic bin and placed them to the side of her waist against the produce display.

        

"Ursula?" said Samantha.

        

"Yes? Have we met before?" said Ursula. "I'm sorry, I'm just not good with faces. Do I know you?"

        

"Well, we know you. My name is Samantha...Samantha Markowitz. This is Angelina Lee. We go to Silver Creek High," said Samantha.

        

Ursula immediately turned around upon hearing "Silver Creek High School," to keep on working and replied, "I don't talk to strangers. Please go if you don't have anything to buy here. I can call security." She puts the rest of the eggplants from the cart onto the produce shelf as she began to clean up.

        

"Ursula, we need your help. Angelina here...," said Samantha. "Angelina was..."

        

"I was raped, by multiple people," I just said and without remorse, I told her, "I think Merrick did it."

        

Ursula stopped for a minute and looked to Angelina as her hands shook and her eyes too timid to look at me. She looked back down to her produce cart and said, "What does this have anything to do with me? I haven't been to Silver Creek in two years."

        

"But we know Merrick, and ...," said Samantha. "Merrick, is uh..."

        

"I think he had something to do with the rape that happened to me," I said to Ursula. "I'm the rape victim and we think he's a serial rapist."

        

"Why don't you go to the cops? Why are you getting me involved? I can press charges you know," said Ursula, looking down on her cart, so afraid to look at our faces. Ursula was very slim and as her body tenses up, she froze on the spot mannequin still.

        

"I just heard from someone that something happened to you. When you were going out with Merrick," said Samantha. "We heard you were raped in the locker room."

        

"That's a lie!" said Ursula, almost too loud for her own good. The rumor exasperated her as she gasped suddenly and closed her mouth with her hands and began to cry.

 

"Ursula, I was drugged. I don't know if Merrick really raped me, but he was at the party. I was one of Melody's girls in her squad. Merrick's sister," I said.

        

"Who told you about me?" asked Ursula, whispering.

        

"The School Nurse told us, and she said that you've changed, and dropped out," said Samantha, with earnest intentions.

        

"Maria?" asked Ursula.

        

"Yes, she didn't say anything else and she said she didn't really know what went on, so she didn't report. She told me you cried so hard that she was worried about you," I said. "We were attacked by Melody's friends. Or at least we think they're Melody's friends."

        

"The girl from Longmont High? She always calls them," said Ursula. "They know each other from business. She works at her dad's restaurant."

        

"Ursula, we know you were raped. We need your help, because Angel is really going through a rough time," said Samantha, pleading her.

        

"I'm sure I'll get a diagnosis with rape trauma, PTSD and I don't know what else. I had to go to the ER because I was bleeding," I said, with just a fraction of dignity because I found myself telling stories to strangers.

        

"Bleeding? He was that rough on you?" Ursula looked at me then her eyes meandered on her produce cart again. Her black eyeliner bleeding from the corner of her eyes. I knew anyone won't be ready for an interrogation about rape that no one was supposed to know about, especially at work.

        

"Ursula, we're no harm. We just need to talk to you," said Samantha. "We promise to do no harm, but we got hurt too."

        

Before Samantha could finish her sentence, Ursula's supervisor, walked out from behind the swing double doors to the side of the produce section, approaching us. "Girl, did you get it done yet?" He said with a high pitched voice almost musical but annoyingly demeaning.

        

"Yeah, I'm on it," she answered, putting down the carrots and hurrying with the lettuce and bell peppers.

        

"Girl, we need you near the front now. Get on with this, hurry up!" he demanded walking away with a champion swag and his nose up in the air. "Get the dairy put up and get to the front of the store, pronto chica!"

 

"I'll be there in a minute," said Ursula, servile to his demands. "I'll have to talk to you ladies later."

        

Samantha paced with her and whispered, "Can we meet you another time? Please?"

        

"Corner of 120th and Federal," said Ursula, "This Saturday. 10 am. Sharp."

        

"Got it, we'll see you there," said Samantha, letting Ursula walked to the dairy section on her own.

        

I couldn't hold my tears any longer, and began to cry near the refrigerator.

 

"Let's go home for now," I said to Samantha. We quickly walk out of the grocery store and drove back to Silver Creek.

 

 

 

Chapter 27 - Ichabod

 

 

The smell of romance made me giggle as I put on my blue shirt and khaki shorts. I looked at the clock and it was nearly three in the afternoon. I overslept this morning but my mental health brimmed radiance on my face. I found Angelina's number from the admin office because her name was written in the principal's visitor's log.

 

"Hi, is this Angelina? This is Ichabod," I said, after she picked up.

 

 "Ichabod, how are you?" said Angelina. I could feel her broad smile over the phone.

        

"Hey, what are you doing today?" asks Ichabod.

        

"I'm with Samantha, we just met a friend here in Lafayette, but we're driving home. It was an early afternoon appointment. Why?" said Angelina.

        

"I want you to meet my aunt, Leona.  Do you think you can ask Samantha to drop you off at a place near Longmont?" I said.         

 

Angelina asked Samantha and I could hear Samantha said, "Sure. What's it called?" 

                 

"Elves Tavern," says Ichabod on the phone.

        

Angelina tells Samantha, "Elves Tavern."

        

"Oh, I know where that is. I used to go there for scones with my mom. We'll be there in twenty minutes," Samantha said.

        

"Great. I work there," I said, overhearing Samantha's response. I grimaced a little because bashful, new romances and friendships brought peculiarity inside my chest that made my arm hairs rise. I cupped the cell phone for a moment and breathed in.

 

"How sweet of you to invite us, Ike," said Angelina.

        

"My aunt Leona owns it and I've known her all of my life, so it's a cushy job," said Ichabod. A part of me was happy I had access to all the teas, lattes and desserts for free.

        

"We'll be so happy to meet her," said Angelina. "We'll be there soon."

        

"Okay, see you there," I answered and hung up the phone.

      

The rain came and went with the swift wind breezing through from time to time. This will be the first time I invited anyone into Elves Tavern, Leona's teahouse. It was a converted old cottage turned into a family friendly teahouse with a swing bench on the front porch. The front garden had large patio umbrellas with tables and chairs underneath, surrounded by Knock-Out roses and white hyndrangeas.  

        

"This is the place," I said to Angelina and Samantha, when they arrived. There was plenty parking near the sidewalk.

 

"It's so cute inside. There is a theme to every floor. The first floor has a fireplace and a backyard behind the house. The kitchen is the tea bar. You'll like it," said Samantha, stepping on the welcome mat with a rounded edge and picture of a sunflower.

 

"Wow, this looks exquisite," said Angelina, marveling over the budding roses at the front yard.

        

"Yeah, it's one of the little unique novelties of Longmont that everyone loves in the neighborhood. I'm surprised you haven't been here," said Samantha.

        

"Collin and I always go to Sacred Grounds in Silver Creek," said Angelina.

        

"We love Sacred Grounds," I said.

 

"I like that place too, but this place is just so fun," said Samantha, pressing the locked car alarm doors to her car.

        

"Welcome and thanks for coming girls," I said, opening the doors.

 

"This place is your family's place?" asked Samantha.

        

"Well, my adopted aunt, Leona. She's inside, you'll meet her," I said. My eyes met Angelina's and smiled from just the beautiful sight of her. Archangel Michael stood near the porch and told me, "Closer your eyes and utter my name when you need me," he said. He nodded and effervesced into the wind.

 

"I love it, you look great," said Angelina, rubbing the top of my head with her hands.

 

"Thanks, I needed a change," I said, happy that she liked my buzzed haircut.

 

Angelina's feather shaped eyes, and her soft and small pink lips with a slight shimmer of lip-gloss made me feel giddish inside. She was perfect in all of her natural beauty, enchanting as a rose. I just wanted to hold her, but instead I fidgeted and ended up shaking her hand.

        

Michael in all of his ghostly apparition entered my body and I lost control of my arms and wrapped Angeline inside my chest.  I felt his spirit and I had to step back suddenly and fidgetted him out! I was so embarrased as I saw Michael walked out of my body and strolled about the garden whistling.

        

I felt my face red and angry, and said, "Gosh, sorry. I just wanted a small hug. Ended up being a big one," I joked, trying to lighten the awkwardness.

        

"I needed a big hug, Ike," said Angelina, smiling.

 

Samantha chuckled. She smacked my arm and points to the tea tavern, signaling to him that she wanted to go inside and looked around.

 

"Oh yeah," I said, suddenly aware I almost spaced out. "So why Broomfield this morning?"

        

"A friend, maybe a lead to what happened with me," said Angelina. She looked towards me, and asked, "Will you introduce me to your lovely aunt?"

        

"Yes, come in, please," said I said, leading them further inside the teahouse.

        

The hard wood floor looked polished, with four small tables each with two chairs near the living room and a brown leather couch near the fireplace. Large paintings of winged large male and female fairiesand elves with exquisite bodices graced the bright cream walls.

        

"This place is really amazing. I use to come here for tea parties with my mom," said Samantha, scanning the first floor of Elves Tavern.

       

The kitchen was the tea and coffee bar, with coffee cakes baking in the oven. A vase of fresh peonies were next to the sink, with cupcakes on a plate covered with a mash food covering on the other side. There was a marbled island in the middle of the kitchen with more desserts of muffins, scones, bagels, and brownies. The smell of cinnamon lingered in the room.

        

"Always smells yummy in here," said Samantha, her senses noticing the sweet aroma.

        

There were two medium sized round tables in the dining area, with four chairs to each table. Rows of shelves were to the back of the dining room with the lowest row of bath salts, raw rosemaries, lavenders, fresh mint and ginger roots, all in jars. The second shelf held smaller containers of ointments as well as herbs for the apothecary, and the higher shelves were full of small stock glass jars of loose-leaf teas.

        

There was a side bar at the end of the kitchen with stools for more seating. Leona was sitting on a stool with a pad of paper in her hand, talking on the phone with a family who needed the whole house for a birthday party in the near future.

        

"We will see you in August," said Leona to her customer on the phone.  She hung up and walked over to Samantha and Angelina. Leona was beautiful, now in her late forties, with long black and caramel hair, large dark brown eyes, soft silky skin and small full lips.

        

"Hi, I'm Leona, pleased to meet you," Leona said, offering a handshake to Angelina. She almost glided on the floor with her pink flowing tiered skirt and a small white t-shirt that perfectly shapes her petite athletic body.

        

"Angelina Lee, but you can call me Angel," said Angelina, in awe by how attractive Leona was.

        

"Divine name, for a gorgeous girl. Ichabod tells me great things about you," said Leona, reaching for Angelina's right hand and holding it for a few seconds, feeling her spirit.

        

"Oh, wow," Angelina smiled and looked to me. "Is she always like this?"

        

"Loving, inside and out," said Leona with a gentle voice, both of her hands surrounding both sides of Angelina's cheeks. "You are a gift, sweetie. Don't forget it."

        

"Leona, let's have a tour of the house," I told her.

        

"Definitely. So, this is my house, and I renovated it. It's now a tea or coffee house, but we specialize in teas, deserts and tinctures for our apothecary," said Leona, with one hand on the marble counters. "We have tea parties here, especially for the little ones. I just love having parents and their little kids here."

        

"My mom took me to a tea party here once," said Samantha.

        

"Oh really? What is your last name, sweetie?" said Leona, offering a handshake to Samantha.

        

"Markowitz, but you can call me Sam," Samantha said, shaking Leona's hand. 

        

"Samantha's my best friend, Leona. She's the best thing that ever happened to me since middle school," said Angelina, holding Samantha by her shoulders.

        

"I can tell you both have a great friendship," said Leona. She smiled and looked at Ichabod who towered over all of them.

 

"This one must be new to you girls. I hope he's made a good impression. We try to teach him everything we know. Me and his mom, Jenni," said Leona of me and my Mom.

        

"Oh, I'm good. They know I'm good," I said. "I hope Samantha approves."

        

Samantha winked at Ichabod and said, "Well, I am so sorry but I have to go. I have to meet my parents at five in the evening. I will catch you guys later?"

        

"What? How am I going to get home?" asked Angelina, in a bit of a panic seeing how she lost her ride home in a few minutes.

        

"Oh, Ike can take you home. He brought his car here," said Leona, calmly.

        

I was glad Samantha was letting me take some time with Angelina alone.  Angelina timidly turned to me and asked, "May I catch a ride from you, Ike?"

        

"Pleasure," I answered, as I felt my eyes and lips smiling brightly in unison. I finally get to be alone with you, I thought.

 

Leona held Samantha's hands and said to her, "I am so pleased to meet my nephew's friends. Please come again, Sam. I would be so happy to see you here."

        

"I will bring my mom here next time, Leona.  I think you met her once before," said Samantha, giving her a hug.

        

Leona walked Samantha over to the door, leaving Ichabod and Angelina alone in the kitchen.

 

"Wanna see the rest of the house?" I nudged Angelina.

        

"Yes. This place is sweet," said Angelina, looking up to the ceiling and the beautiful paintings of magical creatures on the walls.

        

We walked upstairs and the walls next to the stairway were full of drawings of children's hand paintings in hand made frames, up to the top of the ceiling over the stairs. Little fairy dolls hung down from the ceiling in mid-air, and the ceiling of the tavern was a painting of the sky with clouds of glittery light blue paint glimmering from afar.

        

"Who did the art work?" asked Angelina. "Reminds me of a little kindergarten somewhat."

        

"Leona did. I helped a little bit, but I was really little," I said. "The upstairs is the other seating area, but the rooms are the little tea party places. This place is originally a four-bedroom house, so it's pretty spacious."

        

A large indoor balcony has three little tables upstairs, each with two chairs and more paintings of flowers and fairies on the wall. There was a hallway leading to different tea party rooms with small five inches fairies dolls, hanging on each door knob.

        

"So here is the first room," I said, opening the door to the girl's party room.

        

The room was charming bedroom turned tea party haven, with a paisley print couch at the end of the room and a large wooden trunk of old vintage play clothes next to the cheval mirror to the side. There was a tall coat rack with old hats and feather boas of all colors. The walls were one continuous painting of male and female fairies flying in the clouds with tea cups nailed on and pressed flowers in frames. On the other side of the room, near the door, was a round wooden table with four chairs and a silver platter with porcelain white cups and saucers.

        

"This room is so cute," said Angelina, touching the ceramics on the cupboards above a small sink.

        

"Yeah, I came to the tavern when I was really little and had a tea party with my mom in the next room," said Ichabod. "I was seven back then. Let's go there."

        

The next room down the hallway looeds like a library. Covering the floor was a large red Moroccan rug with rows of bookshelves of old books all around the room. The round wooden table was towards the middle of the room with four wooden chairs.  There were two leather high backed reading armchairs with ottomans in case the tea partier would like to read stories to each other. Another large oak cheval mirror was at the other side of the room with another large trunk, but with boys' jackets and tailcoats. A coat rack, with mens' scarfs, top hats, cowboy hats, button hats, Gatsby hats and fedoras were hanging on it, just for costumes fun.

        

"So this is the boy's tea room, I presume?" asked Angelina.

        

"Yes. The first one is for little kids, too. The next room is for older people," I said. "There is another room downstairs for a larger party, but that room is Japanese."

        

"This place is amazing," said Angelina, trying on a Gatsby Hat.

        

"I had a British Pop band party when I was in kindergarten in here. My mom and I dressed up and I was John Lennon," I said, putting on a fedora, but it was much too small.

         

"Was your mom Yoko Ono? or Ringo Star?" joked Angelina.

        

"Hah! Come…let's see the next room," I said, as I pulled her by her hand as we walked towards the end of the hallway with a reading bench underneath a round stained window.

        

"How old is this house?" asked Angelina.

        

"It's probably built in the 1940's but it's been renovated and everything is actually new. When Leona bought it, everything was perfect as it is. Nothing was broken, the plumbing was great, toilet was redone, and the walls were repainted," I said. "My mom and I used to live next door, when we lived with my dad. But my dad moved on. Leona lives close by us now."

        

We walk over to the next room and the door was different, made of a darker shade of wood than the floor and the door slid inside the wall. The room was bigger with a large round dining table in the middle of the room with six chairs. The table has carving on its sides and on the chairs. The walls has vintage flower wallpapers and small oil paintings of male and female fairies were all around the room.

        

"I love the decorations and paintings. They're so imaginative," said Angelina.

        

"Look at this side of the room," I said. To the right of the room was an old Victorian couch with two round side tables with battery operated oil lamps. Across it was a large flat screen television inside a large double door wooden armoire. Next to the armoire was a very large wooden trunk, with all types of board games inside.

        

"This is an adult play room," said Angelina.

        

"Yeah, this is my favorite room, but the boy's tea room comes close," I said. "I use the flat screen to watch movies after closing time. It's so awesome. We close at 10 pm every day and we get to have bonding times as a family sometimes so we would watch movies, like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Twilight and even The Hunt for Red October."

        

"How long have you been working here?" asked Angelina.

        

"For a couple of years now, since I was 15, after I got my worker's permit," I said.

        

"How do you keep up with everything? Aren't you in track also? And the Fantasy Club, I heard about that," asked Angelina.

        

"I think if you love it, it all falls into place. One step at a time, mostly," I said. "Besides, I only work weekends. Plus, it gives the Fantasy Club a place to party."

        

Angelina looked as if she was in enchantment with the Elves Tavern, discovering every nook and looking inside the trunk for the types of board games ready for play. "Hey, let's see the rest of the house," I said, taking her hand.

 

I saw the corners of her lips lifted to a smile as I hoped her heart molded back into shape from its torn pieces. "

 

So....what's the occasion for inviting me?" asked Angelina.

        

"I wanted to know if you'd like to come more often," I said, looking down to the ground blushing crimson. "I mean, sometimes Leona is here, but most of the time, I'm here alone."

        

"To keep you company?" asked Angelina, looking into my eyes.

        

"If you're not doing anything," I said, sincerely. "Just let me know if you have things to do, and I'd understand."

        

"Well, I'm usually at cheerleading practice around this time," said Angelina, her hands on her back. "But, I'm not in cheer anymore, so I'd love to come and hang out."

        

"Yeah? You get free desserts and teas," I told her. "We just have to clean too, like mopping and doing some gardening to keep up the look of the place."

 

"Well, I'll have to take you up on that offer," said Angelina.

        

"You want to see the Japanese tea room?" I asked, jerking from excitement. "It's cool!"

        

"Yes!" said Angelina.

        

We walked downstairs to the back end of the house just before reaching the backyard. There was a larger guest room with a shoji (Japanese sliding door) before reaching the sunroom that led to the back garden.

        

"This is the Tatami Room," I said. "Leona is Chinese, but she loves Japanese tea rooms. She made one for her customers who wants to experience a cultural Asian tea ceremony."

        

"I've never seen anything like it," said Angelina, touching the Japanese tea set on the table inside one of the Tokonoma or Japanese tea-room alcove. Inside each alcove was a scroll of a Kabuki Dancer and outside of each alcove was a bamboo mat for shoes and slippers.

        

The walls had Japanese paintings and on the center floor table was a very large Bonzai tree with a Japanese cushion mats for customers to sit on.

        

"She added this room last year," I said. "This used to be a part of the sunroom, but Leona wants a cultural room. To add some flavor."

 

"Definitely a great addition. I love it," said Angelina, walking closer to the walls to see the Japanese art.

 

As they look around the room, a gentle breeze touched my neck and Michael appeared before me. Angelina was observing the paintings as Michael stood invisibly behind her.

        

"We have guests," said Leona, opening the door to the Tatami room, sensing Michael's presence. "I pray inside this room. I feel the spirit close to me."

        

"Leona," I said, nervously. "I was just showing Angelina around."

        

Leona looks directly into Michael's eyes as he smiled at her. "She hasn't changed," Michael said to me. "Still a Zalmunna."

        

Leona couldn't hear conversations between angels and messengers, because she had tried to take her own life and her divine powers was cast out of her. But, her talent for strong intuition and sensing the spirits as well as her gift of dreams were still well inside her soul. Leona's gifts were now her skills to heal and holistically restore others from suffering or ailments of any kind. Leona taught me to channel my mental health thoughts to meditations and prayers and to trust my gut intuitions with my body and if anything was irrational, we consult each other and use the Bible to combat negative thoughts and emotions. 

        

"Is everything okay?" asked Leona. She looked directly at Michael, but decided to turn her eyes towards me. 

        

Archangel Michael nodded to me, and I replied, "Yes, everything is fine."

        

Archangel Michael looked to Leona and his eyes moistened, and said,"She was dear to us, and she had the talents to speak to Raphael."

        

I was worried, as I saw tears in Michael's eyes, and asked him, "What's wrong?" 

 

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just loving these paintings," said Angelina, as she turns around.\

        

"Guard her mind," said Archangel Michael as he slowly disappeared from the room.

         

I replied, to Michael, "I will."

        

"Ichabod was talking to me, Angelina," said Leona. "What are you thinking, Ichabod?" 

        

"I just want to make Angelina happy," I said, smiling at Angelina. "Leona, would it be okay for Angel to keep me company sometimes?"

        

"Of course. A good friend of yours is a good friend of mine," said Leona. "Angelina, Ichabod is going to make you the best fudge brownie and blueberry scones you'll ever taste."

        

"You bake all of the desserts, Ike?" asked Angelina.

        

"Sometimes, when we run out of the ones Leona makes," I answered.

        

"He's been my nephew since we met a decade ago in this very house. He's the only person in the block who would say hello. He was the only one who cared for me," said Leona, rubbing Ichabod shoulders.

        

"Leona was too shy to meet me, but I couldn't resist. She's my aunt," I said.

        

"Where do you live now, Leona?" asked Angelina.

         

"Nearby the Silvercreek hospital. Around the corner from it, actually," said Leona.

        

"We live close by. We just don't want to lose touch," I added.

        

"Why did you move?" asked Angelina.

        

"After Ichabod and his family left, I just felt so alone. I turned this house into a café. Do you like it?" asked Leona.

         "

"I love it," said Angelina, looking around the stunning Japanese tea-room.

        

"But, how is school going for you both?" asked Leona, changing the subject.

        

"Angelina's being hurt at school," I said.

        

"Just some random bullying," said Angelina.

        

"Bullying is not random, sweetie. They never are," said Leona. Leona had a keen understanding of human nature, because she had to overcome so many layers of violence.

        

"I love your café," said Angelina, changing the subject. I took her hand to show her the little Japanese Rock Garden at the south end of the room. A large and thick black square box was on the floor full of sand up to about five inches deep with numerous rocks surrounding it.

        

"This was added in, to be a relaxing game for anyone," I said. I took the long wooden rake at the end of the room on a wooden stand. "This life size Japanese Rock Garden, is a Zen Buddhism tool. You can use this rake is to draw anything on the sand." I drew a row of lines with the wooden rake on the sand.

        

"You can drink tea and play in the garden. That's the whole point of it. Relaxation for our customers," said Leona.

        

"This is cool. I've never known about this game before," said Angelina, kneeling beside the sand box and pushing her hands deep into the granules.

        

"It's a therapy garden," said Leona. She lifted one of the small rocks from the sand and placed it on top of a larger one. "You can create your rock sculptures and sink into the deep healing peace it concocts inside your mind." She smiled at Angelina and reached to her to give her a hug. "Ichabod, I'll leave you in charge till closing time. Angel you can help him if you can stay," she said.

        

"Sure, I'd love to," said Angelina.

        

"It is so great to meet you, Angel. I'm happy Ichabod finally brings some of his friends over to meet me. I was getting worried that he was becoming a hermit," said Leona, jokingly.

        

Angelina smiled, and said, "I think he's fun. He's very social to us. Thank you for having me, Leona."

        

"Okay. I'm off," said Leona as she walked outside of the Tatami room to grab her purse and keys. "If you need me, call or text me, Ichabod."

        

"Will do," I replied. The door closed and I turned to Angelina. "Let's make some tea. What do you feel like? Green, Jasmine… or Rose tea?" I led her to the kitchen by her shoulders.

        

"What about chamomile? It makes me feel peaceful," said Angelina, leaning on the kitchen counter.

        

"I'll have some chamomile with you," I said.

 

The empty kettle was in close reach as I took it and filled it with water. I turned on the electrical stove and placed the kettle on top of the first stove top. I took the tea cups from the cupboard above her, taking my time. He took two tea cups and placed them on the counter. I took the honey in a large glass jar from the fridge and walked over to Angelina.

        

"Smell this honey," I said, opening the large jar of raw honey with clumps of honeycombs inside. "We bought this online from Seattle. A local bee farmer in Seattle made this for us." 

 

As she tried to smell the honey, I pressed the cold glass jar of honey to her left cheek as she giggled.

        

"I want us to talk about everything," I told her, still pressing the jar of honey on her cheek. "Anything in your mind. Good. Bad. Scary. Anything. I want to hear you." He finally stopped pressing the jar on her cheek because she tried to lick my hand.

        

"Are you sure you won't be scared?" asked Angelina.

        

"I want you, to just...be. Don't care about what I think. Say anything," I told her, placing the honey jar on the counter and opening the cupboard next to the refrigerator to find the chamomile. "I want to be your friend. I don't care about the other stuff. The thing that happened."

        

"What if everything I talk about gets you upset or frustrated," asked Angelina.

        

"I'll tell you what I think but you have to be open minded . If I get frustrated, then we take a breather," I replied, as I found some chamomile. "Loose-leaf or tea bags?"

        

"Loose-leaf," said Angelina. I walked to the kitchen counter where Angelina stood and picked up two teapots to hold the loose-leaf teas.

        

"Can I tell you something, Ichabod?" asked Angelina. 

 

I held the teapots in my hands and placed them behind her with Angelina in between them. Her cheeks flushed, and I stepped back. 

        

"I'm not over Collin," said Angelina, warning me. Her eyes faced down and I sensed warm energy from her direction and sensed she was about to cry.

 

I walked to the kettle, turned the stove heat to high, to quicken the process for some tea, as I leaned back against the counter. "Sorry to put the moves on you. What do you still love about him?" I asked, softly. "I know you guys were together for a while."

        

"Two years," said Angelina.

        

"What broke it off?" 

        

"The fight. He thought I'd be trouble to his life."

        

"You're not trouble. I think people are scared of beautiful and smart girls. They feel threatened, because they're destined or have the potential for success."

        

"I just wanted to be with him forever, but it didn't happen."

        

"You had plans."

        

"So did he. We were supposed to go to CU together and just be with each other and keep working until we graduate and find a job," said Angelina. "Then, maybe, we get engaged. I felt it inside my heart."

       

My eyes drooped to the ground, beset by silence from hearing the depth of her feelings towards Collin. The kettle whistled and I turned off the stove, and asked, "Do you think you can move on?"

        

"I just feel a great amount of loss. I still care for him and it hurts," said Angelina. "His parents...Collin told them about what happened with me. They felt it was time for us to separate because I got him in trouble."

        

"I don't think you brought him into anything. I think there is something else, but you just don't know," I said, with my frontal lobe playing scenes of Merrick's assault, and fear made the hairs on my arms rose up.

        

"What do you mean?" asks Angelina.

        

"Well, those people who came to our school to hurt you," I said. "How did they know you're still with Collin that morning? You never met them before, did you?"

        

"No, I didn't know who they were. I don't think they go to our school," said Angelina.

        

"I know they don't go to our school," I said. "They started it. It wasn't your fault."

        

"I didn't think Collin would get suspended," said Angelina. "We were in love, for two years. One suspension, and he broke it off." 

 

        

"Okay, okay....here, let's have the tea first," I said, handing her the tea cups. I took the loose-leaf chamomile and a teaspoon to fill the strainer inside each teapots. "Let's sit near the front, so we can watch out for customer."

        

I walked with the two cups and two tea pots full of hot water,on a wooden serving tray, and she held a spoon in one hand and the glass jar of honey in the other.

        

"Did you think you hurt the relationship?" I asked, placing the serving tray on the table.

        

"Yes. It was my rape and I screwed it up by telling him what happened," said Angelina. "I shouldn't have gone to the party."

        

"You shouldn't have been there at all. That's what you're saying."

        

"Yes. I shouldn't have let them feed me test tube shots. I was careless."

        

"You have the right to privacy, safety, well being and personal boundaries. They crossed it. It's embarrassing to be drunk, I get it. But, to be attacked while you were drunk, it's called a crime, Angel. You need to know the truth."

        

"I could have prevented it. I was asking for it, I was vulnerable."

        

"Well...I guess if I was a rapist, I'd always jump out of the bushes in a dark alley so the women who gets raped can blame themselves for walking there. I mean, they should have known they were asking for it," I said. "Or better yet, I'll always rape the girls wearing skirts because it's their fault for wearing short skirts or maybe shorts...yeah...shorts. Or even the ones walking in the dark at parking lots. They're all asking for it."

        

"That's not what I meant," said Angelina. She took a teaspoon full of honey and put it inside her teacup.

        

"If we all know the impending events, we all would be so happy and mistake free," I said. "Or we'd all become Superman. With telepathic powers, or we can know everyone's real intentions." My index fingers moving in a twisting motion over my head. "We should all fly like bees, too. The men can pollenate the women who were asking for it. The women can all be Amish bees, and churn butter all day!" 

        

"I meant… I shouldn't have gone without Collin or let them feed me those drinks," said Angelina. "I should be more cautious or brought protection."

        

"You're saying the same things. You thought it was a foreseeable danger," I replied.

        

"Yes, it is," said Angelina.

        

"You should be a psychic," I said, licking my spoon with honey.

        

"I feel dumb," confessed Angelina. Her eyes are moist again.

 

"You're not dumb," I said. "I don't think you should always blame yourself for something that goes wrong. Especially for this tragedy. You knew Melody for a while, at least for two years, and you guys were having fun. I don't think anyone expects anything to happen to anyone at parties. You guys were already comfortable with each other. You thought the friendship was strong."

        

"Humans can't be trusted, and I should operate as if we have no safety net. Then I would be more careful," said Angelina, effusively defending her point of view. "I was too careless. I wish I can turn back time."

        

"I agree, humans can't be trusted. Yet, we do. We trust because we build relationships. The closer we are, the more trust we earn. Right?" I said, looking into her eyes, tenderly. "So, since you knew everyone there for at least part of the high school year, it was supposed to be safe. You just don't know they're also evil. You never met Merrick or his fraternity friends. You didn't have a magic 8 ball that told you, "It has been decided that you're shit out of luck tonight!"

 

I sipped my tea. "You're not a mind reader and you're innocent from blame. You're a bright girl, Angel. Also,…I think it was planned." I knew how vulnerable she was, and I just wanted to hug her, but I inhaled the scent of chamomile. "It was an accident, where you were left physically attacked. I never thought the 9/11 could happen to anyone, but terrorists killed a lot of people. They were murdered, and it wasn't their fault they all went to work that morning."

        

"I knew Melody for two years before this happened. I still think it's someone she knows, otherwise she wouldn't be so mad," said Angelina.

        

"I thought we agreed it was Merrick who was our suspect," I said, putting his cup on the table.

        

"Did Sam tell you this?" said Angelina, a little irritable about the "Merrick" theory.

        

"I had a feeling actually," I said.

        

"Well, we don't have proof, but it has to be one of the men at the party," said Angelina.

        

"I see. So, Melody was just mean to you because you reported to the police? And those people who came to our school to fight you, just wanted you to break up with Collin? Just because they're nosy?" I asked her, sarcastically.

          

"I still don't know how I was raped, because I was drugged. But I do feel Melody saw someone and didn't care about what happened," said Angelina.

        

"I think it is Merrick," I said, with assurance, and annoyance because I didn't want to tell her, otherwise, I was a delusional source.

        

"Why do you think it was Merrick?" asked Angelina.

        

"I think they wanted something out of you, and Merrick was there purposely to be introduced to you by Melody," I answered. "I think Melody wants Collin, and they were just waiting for the right time to attack."

        

"I don't know if that's true. Melody has been so sweet to us. I think she's mad because I reported the rape and now, she's implicated," said Angelina.

        

"You're defending her, I think you're trying to be nice, but it's not working," I said. "You have to remember that it was a crime. Do you want to be their victim forever?"

        

"I reported because I was bleeding. The hospital was convinced that I was raped," says Angelina.

        

"What do you think happened?" I asked, wondering where she was going with this conversation.

        

"I would rather not be a rape victim," says Angelina. "But, I know that I woke up with my shirt on backwards and my jeans pulled so high up my waist that my privates hurt. Then, I bled. But, I wished I didn't report, because now, Collin is gone!"

        

The cup of tea felt warm in my hands.

 

"Do you believe anyone could see a crime before it happened? It was a crime, Angelina. It wasn't something you can predict. No one wants to be a victim. I understand," says Ichabod, repeating his words, hoping that this time, she will sink every positive enforcements he is giving her. He sips his tea and says, "We would all feel safe, Angel. There would be no need for a government, or police, or alarms, or doors, or locks and keys. The whole society would be utopic, and the world would have no war. You're not dumb. They're just criminals."

 

"I still have to heal and really accept myself now. I'm happy to be here," said Angelina. "You're the first person besides Sam who really accepted me after what happened."

        

"I think you're beautiful," I confessed. "So pretty." The corners of my lips genuinely smiled.

        

Angelina smiled back kindly, and asked, "Are you flirting?"

        

"Yes," I said, locking my eyes on her and my cheeks burning reddish flesh like a hot campfire.

        

"Can we get to know each other more?" she asked.

        

"I would love to," I answered, and my heart ardently loving every bit of her.

 

 

To be continued. Just write.

 

 

 

 

Be the first to comment

Ichabod Frenzy - Chapter 22, 23 & 24.

Chapter 22 – Ursula

 

 

It was a hot day and these black jeggings and tanky caught more attention for the pizzeria than I expected. Carrying the billboard sign, I went back to Jake's before the grocery store, but this tall brunette looker with tousled hair and flawless skin caught my eyes.

 

"Hi," I couldn't help but say to him.

 

"Hey, gorgeous," said the guy. He walked the same direction as me and I wondered if he was coming in to Jake's for a pizza.

 

"You're not bad to look at," said the guy.

 

"Thank you, and your name?" I asked. "I work for Jake's Pizza, that's where I'm going. Are you going there, too?"

 

"About to get a slice of heaven," he said. "James. Today is one of those pizza kinds of day."

 

I carried the billboard sign and about to walk into Jake's when he said, "Watch out, don't drop that, you might hurt your feet," James said.

 

"It won't hurt if it falls," I said. "The sign looks heavy, but it's just printed nicely so people think it is painted on wood. It's actually a sticker on a heavy styrofoam board. So how did you know about Jake's?"

 

"Billboard master, aren't you happy your work paid off?" said James.

 

"Really? You saw my billboard and you came in?" I asked.

 

"You're a cute one, so that's why I came in," said James. "I hope you get free pizza."

 

"I do," I said, smiling.

 

"So….," said James.

 

"So…what?" I asked.

 

"You gonna give me your number?" asked James. "I don't waste any chances."

 

"I don't want you to," I said, reaching for my cell phone in my pocket.

 

"720-890-0978," James said.

 

"I just texted you mine," I said.

 

"Can I take you out tonight?" asked James.

 

"Where you taking me?" I said.

 

"What about Iwajima," said James. "It's about five minutes from here."

 

"Sushi?" I said, surprised someone wanted to take me out for a nice dinner at a nice restaurant for once.

 

It has been a long time since anyone asked me to go anywhere. Since Merrick, and living at the shelter, no one wanted to touch me, let alone speak to me kindly. This felt right, it felt surreal that I felt James was sent as a gift to me.

 

"I know you've been working hard," said James. "It's the least I could do."

 

My gut swirled as I faced the street and thought about how this all happened so fast. James just asked me for a date, and here I was on a hot day, sweaty from the heat at work and he thought I was beautiful. For the first time, I felt his complement gave me a breath of fresh air, and I felt confidence inside my soul that I didn't want to let the feeling go.

 

"Ursula, what are you doing?" asked James. "Don't think about it too hard. It's just a date. NBD."

 

"I'm just surprised," I said, with my eyes almost lost in tears, that I couldn't look at his eyes directly.

 

"You're beautiful, and you're surprised that I would ask you out? I'm surprised it doesn't happen often," said James, lifting my chin with soft hands to look deeply into my eyes.

 

"I didn't anticipate you," I said.

 

"What's the verdict? Let's go out tonight," said James, with a smile to the side of his lips.

 

"Promise you treat me well. I've been through a lot," I said. I wasn't sure what to do, and how to show up to the date, but I supposed we could just be, just live out life, and stopped the hard work to ease into a relationship.

Letting my guard down, I told him, "Meet here at 7 pm on Friday night."

 

"You got it," James said. "I'll let you get back to work. See you soon."

 

"What about the pizza? Weren't you getting some pizza?" I asked, wondering if cupid gave me a blessing or if this was another wolf in sheep's clothing.

 

"I'll get it later, I just felt lucky to meet you. I don't want to jinx it," James said. "I'll see you later."

 

"Okay," I said to him. James left the plaza and I entered the pizzeria.

 

"You got me close to a grand, Ursula," said Jake. "Just lunch and it closed out the whole day pretty good. You're something else!"

 

Jake smiled then he high-fived me, and I just couldn't stop giggling and smiling as I saw his face brightened and his eyes like sunshine.

 

"I sure am so thankful you're here," he said. "Don't give up, okay?"

 

Jake just knew what to say, although it was always something along the lines of health awareness because he wanted me to heal from the assault. I supposed 30 years on Earth compared to 21 years gave a man some wisdom.

 

"Who's that guy you spoke to, just now?" Jake asked.

 

"A nice man who asked me out," I said. Jake's face turned red and he looked upset.

 

"I don't think you should date just yet, baby," said Jake. "It's not healthy."

 

"You're dating," I replied. "And Crystal hates my guts. She called me "that homeless woman."

 

Jake went silent and walked to the back of the kitchen and sat down on the boxes near the exit door.


After a few seconds, I walked to him. "Jake…," I said, and wanted to explain.

 

"I love you, Ursula, but it would be difficult between us," said Jake. "I'm your boss."

 

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I walked back out of the pizzeria for my shift at the grocery store.

 

 

 

Chapter 23- Angelina

 

 

 

"Officer Fineman came yesterday and told me that he couldn't investigate the incident," said Bernadine.

 

"I made the report, and I was there," I told Bernadine at the hospital during my therapy session.

 

"I know, but it didn't have a DNA or any bodily fluids, except for yours," said Bernadine. "There was a lot of rubbing alcohol."

 

"But you saw me, I was raped," I said. "I don't understand why Officer Fineman won't investigate Merrick."

 

"It's not that he won't. He can't," said Bernadine. "It's complicated."

 

"It's not complicated. I reported, and he investigates," I replied. Bernadine closed her mouth with her right hand. "I see, it's money," I said. "The Johnsons have money, and I don't."

 

"Let's talk for a minute, dear," said Bernadine. Her hand held mine and we sat in her office once again. "What I'm here to do is to help you heal. The investigative part is Officer Fineman's portion. We will have to wait for him."

 

"What will I do in the mean time?" I asked.

 

"Heal, catharsis," said Bernadine. "It's letting the be just be, and moving forward."

 

I was so disappointed. I thought she was on my side.

 

"I am on your side, but you have to realize, I couldn't do everything. I could only do my part," said Bernadine. She took out her pen, and she walked to her desk for a legal pad.

 

"It's one of the diagram times again," said Bernadine.

 

I was getting tired of diagrams and her "healing" speeches and pep-talks. I wanted some justice.

 

Bernadine drew a circle with a stick figure inside, and underneath it, as a long and thick horizontal line all the way to the end of the page horizontally.  "This is you, inside the circle, as feeble as the stick figure. This long thick line underneath is your life line."

 

I took the paper, and analyzed it. "What do you want me to do with it?" I asked.

 

"Everyone has boundaries, dear, this is the circle," said Bernadine. "I want you to pay attention to this for me. It's critical."

 

"Thank you, Bernadine," I said.

 

"What can harm your boundaries?" Bernadine asked.

 

"Negativity, harm, bullying, we talked about this," I replied. 

 

"What about dating?" asked Bernadine. "Now that you told me that Collin broke it off."

 

My chest felt heavy as my breath constricted, and I gasped for air. "That's your first anxiety attack," said Bernadine.

 

I broke down and cried to pieces. My tears couldn't be supressed and Bernadine was right, I was as feeble as the stick figure.

 

"You're stronger than you believe," said Bernadine. "This stick figure has protection. This boundary of the circle can become thicker with knowledge, empowerment, wisdom, truth, faith, love, confidence and speaking life into yourself."

 

I breathed in and Bernadine gave me a small satchet of mint leaves, and said, "I breathe into this when I'm scared. It reminded me of a girl I once knew."

 

"What happened to her?" I asked.

 

"She was raped by a famous man, a celebrity and his friends. She was hospitalized five times, and she was hurt beyond measure. She was in and out of the hospital for a decade and afterwards, she dated the wrong man and was date raped. She was almost trafficked and was objectified to be trafficked to certain races of men, who made her feel more vulnerable and broken. She ended up alone, and now living in a small house and never married, but she made it alive," said Bernadine. "But with the price of without love and marriage. I don't want that to happen to you, Angel."

 

I realized Bernadine was on my side. Her argument about boundaries also must include dating, and to be cautious and conscience of the repercussions with dating and relationships before I was on a healing path.

 

"It's good to press charges," Bernadine agreed. "But, let Officer Fineman and his police force handle that. We can focus on healing in this hospital."

 

"Okay," I told her. "Do you think I will be alone forever? There is a myth that rape victims don't get married."

 

"That's not true," said Bernadine. "Only those who felt too broken to love might not be, but those like you, the strong survivors, we will." Bernadine smiled at me, and in her eyes were optimism and faith.

 

"Should I date everyone, every race, every religion?" I asked. "I felt like I should give everyone a chance."

 

"That's what I wanted to tell you," said Bernadine. She pointed to the diagram, and said, "Only if this circle is strong enough to not be harmed, and this long thick line is rooted to the foundation that you have in life. That's when you can walk steady, unshaken by the world." 

 

I realized that "everyone" also meant the violent men, those who wants sexual and physical pleasures, the strange idiosyncratic humans who might be a danger for me and my mental health. It was too much of a casualty, and I needed to be cautious, and to help myself. Not racists, not prejudiced, but cautious, and to screen every man with a pre-cautionary and healthy screen to preserve my well being and mental health. 

 

"If you felt in your gut, that this person is a danger to you," said Bernadine. "You need to listen. I know the world told you to listen to your mind and to the facts, not your gut, but you need to heal first so you can develop your gut feelings well. So you can be sure of yourself." She took two books from her desk titled, "Safe People," and "Gut Feelings," and handed them to me. She took another book, "No Asshole Rule," and said, "This one is for the work place, but it has the same effect as the two I gave you."

 

"Do you think I will find true love, Bernadine?" I asked her. 

 

"Of course, my dear," Bernadine said.

 

"Then, so will your friend you spoke of," I decided.

 

 

 

Chapter 24 – Ichabod

 

 

"Orcs, c'mon! Help me!" I yelled, in the middle of the class room.

 

"Who would believe you, Ichabod?" asked Shane. Rolling his eyes, as if he knew all of the answers of all questions I was about to ask for Angelina.

 

"Angelina's a nobody," said Fanny. "If she doesn't even know you very well, then how are you even going to help her?" Fanny was too loud sometimes and I was irritated because no one listened to me.

 

"I need to help this girl," I said.

 

"No one cares, Ike," said Tim. "It's none of our business. We got classes to tend to."

 

"You're serious about this, Ichabod?" asked Shane. "I'm thinking we need to know what's in that house."

 

"What do you mean?" Sunjit asked. "You want us to get into the Frat House and get some beer samples?"

 

Everyone laughed and Fanny said, "Bring me an apple cider if it's cold."

 

"I'm thinking we need to know what kind of people they let into their group," said Shane. "Who they are, and who Merrick went to the party with that night. Then we get inside and get evidence."

 

"It's worth going into during mid-day when classes are running," I said. "I'm thinking after school for us, and it's a lull for them."

 

"Just see their basement and how we can sneak inside to the top," said Shane. "There are always basements in all the old houses built in Boulder."

 

"You're right," said Sunjit. "Let's just see for a minute, and we can just stop by and see what's inside."

 

"Let's go!" I said.

 

"I'll drive," said Sunjit.

 

"I can show you the house where they live, depending on the Fraternity," said Shane.

 

"Omega Xi Epsilon," I said.

 

"How do you know about Merrick so much?" Fanny asked me.

 

"Yeah, and how come you're so crazy about Angelina?" asked Tim. "It's like you're in some kind of mission from outer planet!"

 

I looked to the ground, and I replied, "I saw them, in my dream."

 

"You dreamt about a rape?" asked Sunjit. "You never told me this."

 

The Fantasy Club held their breath, and the leads, Tim, Fanny, and Shane looked to me. "Is it the PTSD?" asked Shane. "It's not uncommon."

 

"How come I knew all the details of the glow-in-the-dark party?" I replied.

 

"It was a glow-in-the-dark party?" Fanny asked, intrigued with her hand on her cheeks. "I've always wanted to glow in the dark."

 

Shane quickly said, "You're already a glowee child. A beautiful, round, glowee, summer fairy."

 

Fanny blushed and slapped Shane's hand. Shane smiled at her and caressed her hair.

 

"We need to get evidence, because if what my Dad said in the past were true, then Angelina won't have her justice. We have to get the police to arrest Merrick and his fraternity friends," said Shane.

 

"What do you mean we need to get evidence?" I asked.

 

"Ike, let's just say that with all the prestige the Johnson has, there is no way they will get an anything without evidence," said Sunjit.

 

Fanny yelled at Sunjit and I, and told us, "Listen to Shane, his Dad was an informant."

 

"Let's go, I'll tell you later," said Shane.

 

"I'll drive," said Sunjit. "Let's go."

 

The Fantasy Club decided to meet another day and Sunjit made Shane and I go to the Fraternity house. It was a twenty minute drive to Fraternity Row and the Stratford house of Omega Xi Epsilon had pillars and soap stone lions on both ends of the mansion. Aspen trees were on the sides of the house and large bushes of evergreens were on the front. We parked around the corner of the entire block and walked to the house.

 

We took Fanny with us because although she won't be able to run with her rather chubby physique, she was a great person who could watch our backs.

 

"I knew about this house because it was rumored to be haunted. On Halloween, they have the best decorations and there was always a ghost rumored to live in the basement," said Shane.

 

"There is always some kind of rumor of a ghost somewhere inside a huge colonial home like this one," said Sunjit.

 

"Okay, I've never heard anything like that," I said. "I wouldn't know because it's always Halloween inside my head."

 

Fanny walked around to the front of the house and just as expected, no one would suspect a cute petite and chubby Vietnamese girl with a Hello Kitty backpack. She called us on her cell phone, "They're leaving to campus. Some sort of mid-day beer pong game," Fanny texted me.

 

"Okay, Fanny said we can go in," I said, reading her text.

 

"There is the basement to the side of the house, near the bushes. We can climb in and get in there," said Sunjit.

 

Shane creeped to the side of the bushes and got in between the wall and the evergreen. He pushed the window to the basement up, and climbed inside. Sunjit and I followed him, and as we tried to look around the room, Michael bumped my head with the edge of his sword inside the basement.

 

"You must think I wouldn't notice," said Michael.

 

"Oh my god!" I shouted, as I accidently fell on the floor of the basement.

 

"Quiet, Ichabod," said Shane. He shushed me and we were silent to listen to any imminent danger of being found by the fraternity men.

 

"You're fine," said Michael. "They all left to campus."

 

We looked around the basement and it had a billiards table with a dart board on the wall, and a well-stocked bar with a standing heater to one side of the room. There was a large refrigerator to the side of the bar, and a flatscreen television at the other end of the basement with a soft couch and a wooden table.

 

We were in awe of the comfort and luxury of their Omega Xi Epsilon mansion, and this was just their "half-done" basement without carpeting or wall paper.

 

"How much does it cost to get into a fraternity?" I asked.

 

"Don't know, and don't care, because I won't be able to afford it anyhow," said Shane.

 

"I do care, but I would rather not use the money for this. I still need to get books somehow," said Sunjit. "I think it's a privilege and not something essential for me."

 

There was a thump to the wall as we all gasped. We all walked to the billiards table where the basement window was located.

 

"Hey boys, you're cute, what are you all doing?" said a sweet voice of a girl, who we couldn't see.

 

Shane put his index finger to his lips as we all stayed quiet. "It's okay, who's there, what's your name?" said Shane. No one answered him. Shane stood still in the dark frightened by the voice, and afraid to turn on the lights. The bright sun from the small window blurred his vision as a ghostly spirit of a blonde girl holding a can of beer smiled at me. She wore a tight red sweater with a black cotton mini skirt and black pumps. She sat on the billiards table drinking a beer with her legs spread open, as if a man was standing in between her.


"You look hot, too," said the ghostly girl.

 

"Ike, who is she talking to?" Sunjit said.

 

"You can see this? This ghost?" I asked. I knew Sunjit won't be able to see Michael, but I thought I was the only gifted soul in the room. "I think this is real." My voice softened as Sunjit stepped back and Shane also stepped to the side.

 

"I could see it, too," Shane said, his eyes wide.

 

"She is definitely a ghost," said Sunjit.

 

Michael stood behind me then walked behind the billiards table to the other side of the room. He looked above him, and around him and as he took out his sword he swung over the spirit of the ghostly girl in between her spine. The sexy ghost of the college girl placed the beer on the table as her sweater ripped off in half by a powerful hand of a man whom none of us could see.

 

"Hey, calm down. Hey, stop, I didn't say you could touch me," said the ghostly girl in her bralette. This re-enactment of an assault made me cringe as Sunjit stepped back and Michael took out his sword from behind the girl's spine yet, nothing happened.

 

"Her spirit is permanently here. She was killed," said Michael. "There was a murder in this room or in this house."

 

"I think her spirit is not at rest," said Sunjit.

 

Shane tried to touch her, but she was as air and his hands went through her as if she was a hologram. "This is very scary," said Shane, waving his hand in between her chest.

 

The powerful hand slapped her ghostly spirit on her face and her hair was violently pulled back by an invisible hand, as Shane jolted back and hit the wall. Her neck was clenched as she tried to speak. All that came out was a soft and raspy, "Stop….help," as she struggled to stop the assault.

 

Sunjit uttered, "In the name of Allah, for the Jinns and all things that cannot be undone to be rid of this Earth and from our lives." He stepped forward and flailed his hand to thwart the evil spirit.

 

Michael swung his sword once more and ran towards the front of the billiards table and beheaded her spirit to disappear from the Earth. "Return to your hell," said Michael. "Be gone!"

 

"I think she's gone now," I said, as her spirit turned into ashes and disintegrated onto the billiards table. Michael exorcized the ghost.

 

We heard footsteps and Sunjit gasped as Shane got ready to climb out of the window onto the backyard and returned home. I climbed back out of the basement window with Sunjit and we escaped the rush of Fraternity men who must be home upstairs. Michael waited for us across the lawn as we ran as fast as we could from behind the house away to the house after them to wait for the rush of Fraternity to get into their home.

 

"Just wait until they all get inside and did we close the window down after us?" I asked.

 

"Damn it! I didn't," said Shane. "Do you know how tall I am and that small window got me stuck."

 

"I didn't close it and we went out after Shane," said Sunjit.

 

"No one will know," I said. "We have to get out to the car at the next block."

 

We squatted behind the bushes of the house next door to the Fraternity house and as the rush of Fraternity men went into their home, we ran to the Sunjit's car around the corner. Fanny was in the driver seat, and said, "We're safe, no one was around. You guys were only there for half an hour. What did you see inside?"

 

Michael had disappeared as he often does.

 

"Angel wasn't the first victim. They have a history of violence," said Shane, as he closed the passenger door. "I have to tell you the history of how these crimes can happen in fraternities in the United States."

 

"Yes, you still need to tell us that!" said Sunjit.

 

Fanny turned on the engine to the car and we drove out of the neighborhood.

 

"All fraternities were based on the founding fathers of the United States, the forefathers before us, not just the United States President, but the people involved in the government at the time. They felt they all needed to create some kind of system where religion and government were aligned with one another. So the Free Masons were the one of the first forms of Christianity were prominent at the time. They were also an extension of the European churches. When they came here, they created a group, and that group of the Free Masons became the Klu Klux Klan, and the years were as early as 18th century, not just the 19th century or 1800s. They were here much earlier than that, and when the minority groups came into the land as slaves, they felt they were higher in status, so they became supremacist, and believed that the Arian race was the supreme beings. Those groups became more liberal and as the years went on, they separated and created their own groups, and those were the fraternities to include youths and young men in universities. There were rites and liturgies, and ceremonies that resembled the Klu Klux Klan in every fraternity and most fraternities don't accept minority men, especially Asians and  African Americans."

 

"This is all crazy! Are you serious?!" asked Sunjit.

 

"Those Free Masons were the elite, Presidents, Owners of the Oil Industries, Conglomerates, Land Developers, and some owned slaves and some had more monies than the entire countries in Asia or Europe," said Shane. "My Grandpa was a black man and he was ousted when he knew too much, and lived in Japan during Pearl Harbor and Japanese Internment and married Japanese. He lived during the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings, and continued to help the families who helped him there. When he returned to United States, he lived in the South, and my Dad was born and he worked for the government and the same thing happened to my Dad as did my Grandpa. They were both told to go to Japan, and live there because we knew the history of the Free Masons and Slavery, Fraternal Society, and Greek Societies and the History of Black Colleges and White Colleges, and the Socio-segregation of the United States. Basically, they thought we were informants, when we were actually just really smart."

 

"So, you are actually third generation Japanese and African American descendants," I said.

 

"No wonder you look like John Legend," said Fanny. "You make me happy, Shane."

 

Shane laughed and I patted his back, "Good kid, brother," I said.

 

"It's not fair how they all recruit the elite, and not inclusive of everyone," said Sunjit.

 

"Well, they are becoming so, but it's not accepted," said Shane. "There are other societies and fraternal orders that spanned out of it. Phi Betta Kappa, Alpha Phi Omega, Omega Chi Epsilons, those are merit based and they include everyone based on intelligence and volunteerism, and nothing else. Some good came out of it, but for the majority, it's racist."

 

"So, you're saying Merrick's group is racist?" I asked.

 

"They might be anti-Asian, or anti-minority, or they wanted the elite and prominent to only include Melody and Collin, and not Angelina. I have a feeling Angelina would be an equity to Collin, but in the way of the Johnson's ambition of some sort," said Sunjit. "It's only common sense."

 

"You're so right," I said. "Collin broke it off, I bet you a hundred percent. Angelina will impede the growth of the Johnsons if the Lees become bigger and more established with having Angelina's Dad on the side of the Goodendaags. I see a new menu for the Goodendaags Bistro with the Lee family and a dime-a-dozen steak house for Merrick Johnson, competing with Outbacks, Longhorns, Black Angus and all the more in the Midwest and continental United States. The Johnsons would lose their business in no time."

 

"We have to get a recording of Merrick and his men who did it," Sunjit said, as we both came into the back seat.

 

"We can ask Google," I said.

 

To be continued...Just write.

 
 

 

 

 

Be the first to comment