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The Fuel

Forgiveness in writing.

How could I write anything with so much tumult inside my soul? I had to forgive.

 

I forgave them all. The sins and the past, the enemies and the unforgiving lives who beset my joys.

 

I forgave jealousies, of all forms with or without make-up, because I finally understood longings for a comfortable life. But, I would never lower myself and dance with the reckless and dangerous, for I care for myself too much after a life of innnocence lost.

 

I forgave myself, for my lack of humility towards their problems. Their needs were diminutive to me, and I to them, and as we batter each other with curses. I forgot the foraging devils who looked to destroy both sides, but I forgave the devil, and I forgave us.

 

I forgave the ridiculous and their egos and all of the in between they've done towards me. They were feeding their needs and I fed mine, but both times, we all made mistakes in the eyes of God, and I was not to judge.

 

I forgave the stoic racists, because my skin color was out of the ordinary and it fueled their anger because their desire to control my outcome. I forgave their prejudices, but I was no fool to fall for their trickeries and to simmer in their abuse. I forgave myself for abandoning them and leaving them behind. I was no longer responsible for their evils, and I had to tend my life to the best of my abilities. I could only stand for justice, and it was and is with God, I stand.

 

I forgave greed and deceit, like the dagger under the cloak of a friendly face who I lived with and took my innocence to be ravaged for their glories.

 

I forgave myself for writing out my heart and being transparent in the eyes of the world. It was the only way I could throw out the anxieties and my own sufferings, otherwise I would be unforgiving. The worst thing to be was unforgiving, especially to oneself, because it would dampen triumphs and overlook miracles.

 

I forgave my own writing, its lack of brilliance and its inadequacies, because only through forgiveness would I continue to write and remain humble as I progress and improve. Forgiveness was requiered to move forward, in everything and for every life.

 

I forgave my appetite and my criticism for my body and physical appearance, because I was never running on pageants, instead running towards improvements and approvals. I forgave myself for what I looked like, in the past, present and the future is unwritten.

 

I forgave sinners for I was born into sin, and God be the judge of the living and the dead, for every sin under the sun. No soul was exempt, and I won't be set apart at the gates of Heaven.

 

I forgave my grammatical errors, because I was learning, and I will always write, and forgive, each moment in time passing.

 

Just write.

 

 

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