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The Fuel

Trying hard.

It is excruciatingly difficult for me not to blog, now that I have a routine about it. My 15 seems so far away and my mind wanders on the empty pages of my blog still in spirit. Creating sentences, composing similes, devicing metaphors, and my mind is the best utility at work even when it is time to rest.


My best friend brain wants a new way concept and resistance is futile. I get an anxiety the same way that high school students feel about prom. Is it time to dance? Will he ask me to be his date? The nerves inside me wants to come out and play for just 15 minutes and it creates all ideas that condenses in my mind. 


My heavy thoughts sometimes becomes an asset, as I find prose about positivity through the negative. Making new sentences and having it write itself down on my heart. I find the honesty refreshing, and the unique creation sets itself apart from the rest. My writing has nuances from life and the journey of a survivor who rose from the dead. That itself is a life story worth telling, and although my time for a memoir of my life might come, I still have to ruminate and explore upon it before I take the action. But, the writing continues, and I just have to blog about this process.


Being honest about a project gives me freedom, and although I won't divulge into it, I still have to talk about my journey in this blog. It is a worthwhile read and a worthwhile exercise for me to build my skills, out of truth about daily blogging.


To tell you the real truth about my project, it is about art. My family is that type who feels about art strongly, and critically think about it in great details. Everything in art is truly sovereign, with the exceptions of stolen concepts and ideas to create an original. The point is, I need to explore on this artistic work more clearly, with a compassionate heart and a loving tenderness because I had reservations about it for two decades and it creates a myth and superstition out of itself. I won't let it become an object of scorn inside my heart or in the heart of others. It deserves attention, and I shall give it 100% of my intentions. To read it, carefully, and compassionately, as everything artistic should be approached.


I will tell you soon, but in the mean time, God help me. As I have to stop blogging to create more time for reading and reflection in my life.


Just write.

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