Diana Kurniawan

"Karina, are you okay?" asked Rambo. "How are you feeling? You can talk to us about it."

 

"Rambo, you and Jake were the only two people who believed me. If it wasn't for Boris or Betina, and my ragged clothes, you won't have taken me seriously," Karina said. 

 

"I'm happy you hid while you were pregnant," I told her. "I'm happy you survived."

 

"In this country, everyone believe the rich and privileged. Even after knowing I am the last of the Ting Dynasty, it didn't matter to anyone. We weren't Tier 1," Karina said. 

 

"How did The New Order men murder your parents?" Rambo asked. "You never told me."

 

"A schoolmate told The New Order men because she hated me. I didn't want to share my homework," Karina said. 

 

"That was it? Over a silly homework that she hated you for, so she told them to hurt your family?" Rambo asked.

 

Karina nodded. I could tell from her face that her loss was so deep and grave because of the loss of her parents and her own dignity, and now she bore the children of the men who assaulted her.

 

"As human beings, we need to question Giuseppe Baptiste and The New Order Regime. Why he is our leader, and how he got there in the first place and who were the people who got him there. The New Order men destroyed the royals and first families, to gain control. Economic control, human rights control, health and well being of everyone. But, was it worth the killing and the destructions to gain control only to give it to one man whose vernacular is vague and incongruent with humanity, colorful with slander against the royals and respectable families, full of abuse against the poor? But, the world is so blind to support him because he blinks morse codes and seduces us with Biblical knowledge he claims to understand? Why Giuseppe Baptiste and The New Order Regime?" Karina spoke with sincere ingenuity and passionate curiosity. "It was the violence that got them to the top and it will continue to go on if the victims are silenced. Why do people believe The New Order men in the first place? Because they have cars and guns? Money and fame? They never deserved it, because they violated me." 

 

"I can't even ride my bicyle," Rambo said, equally upset as Karina.

 

"It wasn't the people's choice, it was forced upon us, because nations in the world supported him. Leaders of the free world supported him, who helped him rose to power. They spoke the same language and believed in the same ideals, and they didn't give room for authentic justice and humanity," I said. "It was a hostile takeover. It wasn't pretty, Karina. It happened long ago, before you were born. Father told me."

 

"It's true," my Father said, his right hand cupping his chin.

 

"You know a lot for a twelve year old, Karina," Rambo said. "I'm happy you understand who Giuseppe Baptiste is. I never liked him in the first place. He's been in reign for a very long time."

 

"It didn't take long for me to know. As soon as I was assaulted. I knew it was more than just a jealous schoolmate. It was my lineage, my whole being, and their desire to own my life and control me. It was abuse," Karina said. "I was really hurt, and now, no one but you two believed in me. Under Giuseppe Baptiste, I will always be a statistic and I won't be able to gain justice," Karina said.

 

"What do you want to do?" my Father asked. 

 

"I want to expose The New Order men, and Giuseppe Baptiste," Karina said. 

 

"That's what I want too," Rambo said. "I'm emancipated and I doubt that I will ever be Tier 1. It was tied to my journey of life, because I was born when Giuseppe Baptiste decided that everything had to benefit The New Order Regime."

 

"How will we convince the world? How will the rest of the world know the things I've gone through?" Karina asked.

 

"The same way The New Order men control the world. Through media and language, except....," I said, in contemplation about a strange plan. A plan devious, but non-violent, sharp and crafty, understandable and poignant.

 

"Son, I need to call a friend," my Father said. He dialed his wrist phone. "Hologram, give me Dana."

 

The hologram dialed to Dana Zudecki, a retired soldier for The New Order, in the same regiment as those who overthrew The Laotian government and gained a new territory for Giuseppe Baptiste.

 

"Sean! How are you? I'm in Brazil, enjoying Rio deJaneiro. It's beautiful out here," Dana said. The background was on the blue ocean, with him sipping a coconut juice from its shell.

 

"Code Jasmine. Seal 6. It's real," said my Father.

 

"What? Are you serious? We have a lost descendant? How old?" Dana asked, his voice deepened.

 

"Twelve. Prodigy," my Father said.

 

Just write. 

"You know a lot for a little girl," Rambo said to Karina.

 

"My last name is Ting. It's like Ding, except smarter. You should expect nothing less," Karina said, with tears in her eyes.

 

My Father held her hands and told her, "You're valuable. I'm impressed that you stayed alive for over a year after they hurt you."

 

"There is a reason I was made into this world, and perhaps it's to give birth to Boris and Betina, but I felt it was something more," Karina said. "I hope it was not to just bore the child of the enemies."

 

"I believe you, Karina," Rambo said, as he knelt beside her. 

 

The room was dark, but we could still feel each other.

 

I turned around and witnessed a darkened world, with a thriving regime built on fear and darkness. 

 

"Karina, why don't you eat a little bit, and then sleep," my Father said. "I will care for Boris and Betina."

 

"Thank you, Mr. O'Connor," Karina said.

 

I took some of the solar lightbulbs we had in our cabinet and used it's sticky side along it's edge and stuck it on the walls around inside our home. The darkness won't cower my Father and I, we knew something went on since the inception of the regime.

 

"Jake, do you have a Mom?" Karina asked. 

 

"He doesn't want to talk about her," Rambo said. "It gives him a headache."

 

"She's Tier 1, but she doesnt' want to work for it, and only wants to marry through it," said Mr. O'Connor. "Superficial, and dominating, and often she drinks too much."

 

"She is remarried, with another Tier 1," I told Karina. "So she doesn't even remember me."

 

Karina straigthened her chair to face the table, and my Father took some of the pasta that was ready inside the pot, and placed some spaghetti onto a plate. He took some of the marinara sauce, and ladled enough for a twelve year old portion.

 

Karina saw the spaghetti, and her mouth gaped open. "Fresh hot meal. I havent' had this in a very long time," she said.

 

"The usual," my Father said. "Sean. That's my name."

 

"It's easy to make," Rambo said, sitting down at the dinner table. "Not to insult your cooking ability, Mr. O'Connor."

 

"I never had one, and it's Jake's favorite," said my Father, taking some spaghetti from the pot with some marinara sauce for Rambo.

 

I smiled, and sat myself down at the dinner table with everyone. 

 

"It's love, no matter how you cook it," I told Karina.

 

We ate together under the solar lightbulbs, while the rest of the world was still in the dark.

 

Just write.

"I have an idea," I said, my mind sparked with bright illumination. "I can get us transportation, and I can ride my longboard to get us to our flat."

 

"Who do you know?" Rambo asked. 

 

"This girl with a Rexi. It's fast, and it can take you and Karina and I can take the babies," I told Rambo. "Hologram, get me the brunette I met at Knox."

 

My hologram dialed the brunette and her face came up in front of me in media. "Hey...interested. What's going on?"

 

"I need a ride and for that, we should keep in touch," I told her. She smiled, and looked bashful and looked to the ground. I smiled back, and sincerely told her. "It's to help someone."

 

"I like you. What was your name again?" she said. "Kylie. That's mine."

 

"Jake. Jake O'Connor," I told her, with my smile still here.

 

"Okay. Where are you?" Kylie asked, her brows scrunched.

 

"I'm at a run down place. I'll give you the address," I told her, and gave her the number of the house and the street in Five Points, Denver.

 

"I can meet you there, and I'll bring my longboard so I can get home. My Rexi is trained, and she can get home on her own. She's programmed and fast. So make sure you know how to ride," Kylie said. 

 

"Did you tell her that I'll be riding?" Rambo asked.

 

"Yeah, my friend will ride, and this sweet little girl with him," I told Kylie in all honesty. 

 

"Not a problem. I'll give you some treats for my Rexi to eat when you get to the destination, and you can feed it to her. Then you have to push the button on her necklace and she's going to run to me," Kylie told me. "This better be for a good cause."

 

"It is," I said. "Hey, I promise we will be in touch. I mean it."

 

"I know," Kylie smiled. "I know you're a good guy."

 

"Thank you, Kylie."

 

Rambo and I waited for twenty minutes, and packed all of our stuff and woke up Karina, and swaddled the babies. I placed Boris and Betina inside my shoulder pack and let them sleep inside, and swung my shoulder pack on my chest.  Rambo made a belt with some of the towels I had for Karina, to cover her wound so the impact of riding won't harm her. 

 

Kylie arrived with her Rexi, a short haired animal with powerful legs as if a medium sized bear with defined muscles was in front of me. "This is Smily, and she's docile, and loves to run," Kylie said, as she jumped off her Rexie's back. Smily almost purred and licked Kylie's hand. I caressed her forehead, and she pushed against my palm and kissed me. "She's so lovely," Kylie said, and hugged Smily. "Just let her follow you, Jake, and she'll know where to go, unless you're riding. Then, it's like riding a horse."

 

"I have a longboard, and as long as Smily can see me, we're good," I said.

 

Rambo walked from behind me, and offered a handshake. "Rambo, nice to meet you," he said. 

 

"Kylie, and I guess you're riding my Smily?" Kylie asked. 

 

"Yes, and this is Karina," Rambo said, showing Karina behind him, standing with a belt made of a towel.

 

Karina waved, and said, "Thank you for helping me."

 

"What happened to you? You looked hurt," Kylie asked, pointing to the towel around her waist.

 

"Yeah, it's The New Order men," Karina said. 

"The New Order men? Jake, what's going on?" Kylie said, her face aghast.

 

"Promise me you're not one of Giuseppe Baptiste's fan," I said.

 

"Promise, but why her?" Kylie asked.

 

"I don't know...I need to get home, as soon as possible, before they find her," I told Kylie. 

 

"Take Smily, and do the treats," Kylie said, handing me a few cubes of Smily's treats. "She'll be fine. It's legal." Kylie turned to Rambo and Karina and said, "Hold on tight."

 

"I will," Karina said.

 

Smily was sitting with her paws on the ground and her hind legs behind her relaxed. Rambo got on first, and Karina sat in front of Rambo.

 

"Rambo, hold the saddle, and Karina, hold her necklace," Kylie said, showing Karina to hold on. "Now go."

 

I got on my longboard and took off, as Smily quickly followed. 

 

"I will call," I told Kylie. She nodded and waved her goodbye.

 

Kylie was right, Smily was very fast as she followed me on the longboard only yards behind. She jumped over puddles, and rounded street corners as Rambo and Karina held on tight. Smily paced me and we passed neighborhoods avoiding Colfax and attention.

 

By the time we arrived at Capitol Hill, it was dusk, and the solar lights were on, but building lights were off. 

 

I stopped in front of my Father's flat and Rambo quickly got off with Karina, and Boris and Betina were still fast asleep, enjoying the ride as if flying inside a contraption. I gave Smily her treats and pushed the button on her necklace and as a Rexi should, she took off to find Kylie's home.

 

We ran upstairs to my flat and pushed the bell to get inside. 

 

"Dad, it's me," I pushed the button in front of our door. 

 

The door unlocked, and my Father opened the door. "Did you see anyone behind you?"

 

"No, actually we took and didn't look back," I told him.

 

"Mr. O'Connor, I'm Rambo, and this is Karina," Rambo said, behind me, and pushing Karina to the front of me.

 

"Come in, let's eat dinner," my Father said.

 

We came in, and my Father was cooking, and the pot was boiling.

 

"Karina, sit down at the dinner table, and tell me what happened," my Dad said. "Have a cup of water, first." 

 

I took off my shoulder bag, and placed Boris and Betina on the sofa. They were fussy, and stretching their arms and legs. 

My Father went to the refrigerator and took a still water bottle, and offered it to Karina. Karina took it to the dinner table and sat down. "Thank you, Mr. O'Connor," she said. She opened the bottle and drank the water. 

 

"Why do you think they did this to you?" my Father asked, not wasting anytime.

 

"My parents were the last descendants of the Ting Dynasty, and we were annihilated, and we escaped only to lose my parents in the journey, and I was lost," Karina told my Father.

 

"Were your parent's killed?" Rambo asked. "We can try to find them."

 

"I believe they were killed by The New Order, because they don't want another royal dynasty than Giuseppe Baptiste," Karina said.

 

"Baptiste doens't like royal families, and he destroyed them because he believed in one leader, without ties to a lineage," Rambo said.

 

"Royals are symbols of family values and family traditions, and it is okay. There are so many Royal Families in the world before Baptiste came to power. They were a symbol of family heritage and kinship amongst the different nations in the world, usually alongside humanitarian efforts, in once accord to help with alliances and ties between countries and represent kinship amongst men and women. Baptiste didn't believe in all that. Since Baptiste came into power, there are barely any organizations who cared for the poor and indigent, and everyone bowed to Baptiste because he wanted to be the authority although he preaches solidarity amongst working men and women. Why do you think there are so many vulnerables and homeless populations in Denver?" my Father said. "So, why do you think they hurt you, Karina."

 

"My parents said The New Order men wanted connections through geneaology and spiritual favors," Karina said, her face in grim silence looking to the ground. 

 

"I think it's because The New Order men wants control, and they want to own lives, and feel like they have ownership over souls," I told my Father. "That's how you control someone isn't?"

 

"She's twelve!" Rambo said. "She barely knows directions to Knox. How much ownership did they think they wanted?"

 

"I know my directions," Karina said. 

 

"Sorry, but still...," Rambo said. 

 

"They couldn't just build a website and write a manifesto to feel powerful?" Karina asked.

 

"Websites? Who has one of those these days?" Rambo said. He shook his head and asked Karina,"What do you know about manifesto?"

 

"When my parents were with me, they told me that The New Order had a manifesto, and they hated the power of good, tradition, families, and the idea of heritage and a royal lineage and birthrights. They hated first families, royal families, presidents and people of influence. They wanted to create their own powerful regime," Karina said. "Where they said everyone is of equal values, but the truth is, Baptiste is the sole authoritarian, and his men abuse their powers and they use violence. I think he feels superior as a human being and his ideas are based on racial supremacy, and that's why he wanted to have The New Order Regime."

 

The lights shut off, and the stove turned off. The whole room became dark. I opened the curtains to our windows and looked outside to find the buildings lights were off, far into the distance. The only lights visible were the street lights with swift shadows passing of people running on the streets.

 

"What's going on?" I asked. 

 

All of the sudden, the whole entire world felt dark.

 

Just write.

 

 

Rambo came in through the back door and we sat on the floor in the front room. "They still believe in the old myth," said Rambo. 

 

"What old myth?" I asked. I didn't know there was a myth.

 

"That if you hurt someone you become stronger, and have some sort of power through ripping a soul and destroying a life," said Rambo. "It's the old world myth and it's prevalent in the old developing countries with a lot of crimes. Didn't you remember your history? Those leaders from the old world, were once criminals. I think Giuseppe is one too. He might be a child molester."

 

"He's a eunuch, and supposedly a priest, well versed in all religions, especially the Bible," I said. "But, do you think they were sent to hurt Karina? To get favor and power?" 

 

"Yes, I do think Giuseppe is the leader of this ring of criminals," Rambo said. "It's not a matter of politics, it's a matter of human rights."

 

"It's The New Order, Rambo," I said, looking at his face askew. "You seriously believe they remember about human rights? That's so women's rights."

 

"The New Order specifically are made of priviledged men and women but they always asked for privilege and power and favor from the people. Everything to the advantage of The New Order," said Rambo. "They wanted something out of Karina. I don't know what."

 

"We need to ask Karina who she really is, and how she became an orphan," I said. I stood up, and dialed my hologram wrist phone. "Give me, Father."

 

The phone dialed, and Rambo stood up from the ground and told me, "I know how to get more supplies."

 

"I'm asking my Dad if we can take Karina home, and get your some supper," I said. The hologram came on, and Father was washing his hands in the emergency room, finishing up after some procedure. 

 

"Son, make it quick. I have five minutes," Father said. 

 

"A vulnerable, 12 years old, identified as a victim of assault, impregnated and now has fraternal twins. She is now living in this house," I said, quickly while scanning my wrist phone to the whole room and showing my Dad the inside of the old run-down house. My Father looked to the hologram, and dried his hands.  

 

Father stepped into the hallway of the hospital and walked into the restroom. "How did you find her?" he asked.

 

"Under a bridge, near the old Speer Boulevard, in Denver. She was asking for food to feed her babies who are two weeks old," Rambo said. He came into the hologram and showed his face to my Father. "Hi, Mr. O'Connor."

 

"Was she hurt? What's her mental state?" my Father asked. He stood with his right hand to his face, watching the hologram. 

 

"She remembered everything, and saw symbols, and I think she's severely hurt, perhaps depression, and traumatized," I said. "Can we get her home? Rambo also needs some foods."

 

"I took her into this house, and she's an orphan, soon to be homeless, Mr. O'Connor," Rambo said. "I'm emancipated, so I've got a place. If it's too much trouble for me..."

 

My Father interrupted, "Democracy lives in my house. It's my religion, and The New Order doesn't rule inside my heart. Bring her home and Rambo too, son."

 

"I'll cook. I promise it will be good," I said. My Father may work for a Banner, a Socialist Hospital, but we loved Democracy, and we believed in justice for all, the good of humanity, the power of voting, and civil and human rights. I knew my Father would help Karina, because he took a paycut to work for Banner, to give good healthcare for the poor, and he understood me.

 

"Mr. O'Connor, I'm Tier 3, so I can get some good stuff, too," Rambo said, his eyes smiling.

 

"Jake, why don't you just get home. I'll meet you there. We need to talk about this, and I can take a look at Karina and her babies," said my Father.

 

"It's safer, because she said The New Order men might be behind this," I said.

 

"WHAT?!" my Father yelled out.

 

Just write.

He slured his words as I cried in front of the window of the skilled nursing facility missing him at home. His right hand over a small soft pillow and his speech slow and incomprehensible.

 

"I miss you so so much, Papi. I wish you can come home," I told him over the window. "I feel so alone without you."

 

"Pakejambunik," he said. It was a word he uttered that I didn't know how to spell or write, but inside my heart, it meant, "I love you, Diana."

 

I remembered when he was angry when we lived in a small two bedroom apartment in Reseda, after haggling over a pound of shrimp that was being sold by a street corner. The white supremacists told him he was a chink for haggling. He came home in tears from anger, and we sat down over the prejudices in the United States of America. He told me that he just needed a break for the day and the television eased his anger. I watched him calmly erase the anger over racism, like a gentleman.

 

The time when I told him about the assaults and the brokeness erupted a hopeless evening. He told me to not lose hope on all humanity based on the poor example of some. That hatred was limited to violence while love, especially God's love, was vast, deep, wide, boundless, unlimited, and reaches so far, deep and high as the heavens, galaxies, and all of the universe.

 

He told me that the schoolmate who bullied and destroyed my life through the assault was of evil and racism, and her successes were tainted with blood and abuse, just as those who hurt me were abominable to God. That I didn't have to be afraid of the world, and to be closer to God and worship Him, then relay every instant of my life through Him. That with God by our side, my Dad will back me up when I'm working things out with my life, and he will back me up when I make mistakes. My Dad was always there.

 

The time when I met the man whom I asked to marry, only to be found alone several weeks later in struggling heartbreak and hopelessness. My Dad told me that I took his job for him and that made him mad, that even God was angry because I didn't trust the tradition. He told me that it was better left alone, because if it was Godsent, it won't have been broken. The embarrassing stories that I endured and the laughter from the enemies and haters I heard inside my life, because I was so desperate for love, yet my Dad was there to tell me that desperation could only lead to divorces. 

 

The suffering I felt when I was inches away from death, my Dad took the house key and broke into the bathroom door and stopped me. I miss my Dad dearly, and it has been so difficult with the global pandemic because I haven't been able to hug him or kiss his forehead. I miss my Dad, and I felt a huge loss in my life from his stroke. I felt the half of my body was paralyzed from faith.

 

Tonight was a hard day, and I wished I could have my Dad home with me. 

 

In tears. Just write. 

 

 

 

"Did you see a symbol of some sort?" I asked Karina. "When they assaulted you, and got you pregnant...did you remember anything else?"

 

"They had a machete and a fire sign. It was black and tattooed on their arms. There were two of them and they had a car," Karina said. 

 

"Was it the same truck sized car we saw earlier?" Rambo asked her. "Only government men owned them."

 

"It was a large car, black, but I don't know much about cars. I just know it was big," Karina said. 

 

"How were you found by them? Why did you run away from the shelter?" I asked. Most of the orphans who ran away would run to the homeless shelters, but they would almost always meet someone who would help in some sort of way. Not always harmful, but always helpful. 

 

"I couldn't stand the dirty place. It stunk and it wasn't clean," Karina said. "I felt better outside, sleeping in the street corners or under the bridge. That's why most run aways go outside. Nothing personal."

 

"But it got you in trouble," Rambo said. "How did they find you?"

 

"I asked for help from them, and they took me into a building. They said they would be careful, but I didn't know why and I am young, so I thought they'd give me to social services again. But, they didnt. They hurt me," said Karina. She looked towards the twins, Boris and Betina, who were both asleep in their diapers. Karina looked to me and asked me, "Was this all my fault?"

 

"Definitely NOT!" I answered almost in a jolt of suprise, because that was the last thing I wanted to hear. "This whole thing is THEIR FAULT." This was so typical of The New Order, hurting the meek and vulnerable to gain powers and control. Since the fall of the royals and democracy, the republic became The New Order, and all of the allies of those controlling powers became a strong unifying demon of powerful men and women who abuse their powers to do everything they want against the morales of the people. They would often use control and injustice to manipulate the system to let their own types of men and women into the authoritarial government, and proliferate violence. I just hated The New Order, and those men were inhumane to Karina.

 

Rambo looked outside to the window, almost in catatonia. He gets that way when he doesn't know what to do. 

 

"Rambo, clean her wound," I told him. I took my shoulder bag from outside, and unzipped it to take out the bandages. "The wound must have seeped. It's about two hours. Rambo, are you listening to me?"

 

He looked slowly to my face, and asked me, "How will we do this?"

 

"Take it one day at a time," I said, focused on the bandages and cutting some Hypafix tape. I looked under Karina's shirt, and asked her, "Karina, is it okay if I take a look. I need to see if it seeped in."

 

The blood seeped into the cloth bandage, and I took out some of the ointment and took off the bandage slowly. "Rambo, wash your hands, and get this ointment and just put it on her gash."

 

Rambo went to the restroom and washed his hand, and walked back and knelt in front of Karina. She winced at the pain from the bandage being taken off because it almost stuck to her wound. Rambo took the ointment and held it inside his hand. 

 

"Let me wash my hands," I said, standing up and quickly going to the restroom to wash my hand, and coming back out to give Rambo some instructions. "Take this cloth first, and soak the blood slowly on her gash."

 

Rambo palpated Karina's gash with the cheese cloth, and let it soak her blood. "Then put on this ointment?" Rambo asked.

 

"Yup, slowly and gently," I said. Karina didn't look afraid, she closed her eyes and sat torso up on her knees on the floor. "Karina, just lay down for a moment and relax." She laid down, letting me hold her shirt up from covering the wound. 

Rambo took the ointment and put a slither of it on the gash. "It's cooling, what is it?" Karina asked. 

 

"Its a combination of the old neosporin and chamomile aloe, with some anti-viral compound," I told her. "It still works for first aid. It's better than putting aspirin for two hours. It will help but this way, it will dry up and get rid of the infection, in case there was some."

 

Rambo took the bandage and put a small square of it on the gash and put on the Hypafix over it. Karina looked calm, and that eased me, with a soft breath of release. Rambo inhaled deep and exhaled out a breath of relief. 

 

Rambo caressed Karina's silky black hair, and told her, "Just take a nap for a while, sis. You must be tired."

 

"Jake, what about the babies?" Karina asked me. I looked to Boris and Betina and they were both sound asleep. 

 

"Let's get you a nap with them, and I will watch outside," I told Karina. "Rambo, get the bicycle from outside and put it behind the house. We can't attract anymore attention."

 

"Yeah, I shouldn't have rode it here, but we needed to get hurrying," Rambo said. He walked outside to put the bicycle away.

 

I knelt to Karina and kissed her forehead. "Sleep tight for now. There is a lightbulb shortage and a cheddar and macaroni shortage too. So we have to figure out how to get us some supplies to stay alive for you to live here."

 

Karina nodded, and turned her body to sleep on the ground on her hands as pillows.

 

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. The stress got to me, and this wasn't even an online class.

 

Just write.  

The blanket over me felt hot and damp as my sweat dripped over my eyes. I woke up in the middle of the night and in my turquoise t-shirt and pink terry shorts, I swung the blanket away from me and I found my whole entire bed in a bog in the middle of the forest with trees surrounding me. I took a dip with my foot on the swampy water and the water was soft and cold, almost frozen, with the heat and humidity creating a layer of fog over the surface. I walked inside the bog with my skin immersed in dark mud with no shoes for protection. I was alone, and no other human being could have been in this hellish swamp.

 

The thick mud moved with my legs as I walked slowly hoping to get over to the land. It was near as I saw in front of me, a dead American Bullfrog, with its legs sprawled and its skin ripped apart. It floated by and I squirmed from the sight. As my eyes hoped to see land, a rubber tree convulsed in front of me with its sap spewed out in drips as if candle wax melting from its bark. It was close by and all I wanted was to get to the tree. It throbbed as if it was dying, but surely if life was still inside it, it could be saved. 

 

Land was a few yards and I took a step and climbed over to land from inside the bog, with my pink shorts wet through my underwear in muddy water. I ignored the discomfort and ran to the tree, but a bobcat approached me with red eyes, angry and I stood still. I looked beyond the rubber tree and the forest was in flames, as I felt a snow of ashes dropping from the sky and I looked to find the sun in full orange, enraged. The rubber tree called me to come closer to preserve its sap, its birthright but the bobcat growled. 

 

To my left was dry land with no other living being, and although the trees beyond were in flames and I was stuck in the forest, it felt right to take the path. I abandoned the rubber tree and the bobcat and took myself to the left of everything. I walked in sorrows because the rubber tree felt like home. I wanted to hug the tree, and caress the bobcat, but they were untamed to my fragile life. I had to walk on. 

 

The path on the left felt foreign and as the flames surrounded the path, it had an invisible wall as if tall glass shields protected me. I kept walking with my damp t-shirt and dripping wet shorts and I scratched myself to pull my underwear from in between my buttocks. True discomfort that smelled on my body from the muddy bog.  I kept walking and I kept searching for a way out to a land away from flames and ashes. The orange sun followed me and enraged the fires as it kept raging beyond the glass shields, but I was safe. 

 

After a few miles of nothing but fires and flames, I looked forward and a barren hill was ahead, with no plants, no trees, and no living being. It was tall grass with sunflowers and prairie. I walked on, surrounding myself with the sunflowers, and didn't look back. 

 

Just write.

The pink cotton nightgown I wore draped down to the asphalt as each step I took felt cold and the fog over the road ahead of me lay low to the Earth. I found myself walking down a nameless highway with no cars in sight and the darkness over me showed a bright golden moon. I stopped as the highway stretched far and lonely without connection to life. 

 

I looked to the side of the highway where the grass grew and the soil dipped low. My father sat in his wheelchaiir, and looked towards me and with his slurred speech, he said, "Is God coming with you?" I ran to him, because I wanted to hug him for the first time in six months. I kneeled down in front of him and wrapped his hands inside mine, and I stretched to kiss his forehead. "Don't forget me, and don't forget what I told you," he said. 

 

"I won't ever forget," I replied. I closed my eyes and breathed and raised my face to the sky as the night was bright with the moon closing in so close to me, reaching for my face. 

 

The moon spoke words I was familiar with, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am you God. I will strengthen you, and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand," it said to me with verses.

 

My father held my hand, and kissed my palms, "Remember ice cream," he said. 

 

I couldn't hold my joy as I jumped and my father laughed with me. "God IS coming, and I am here with you," he said.

 

I pushed his wheelchair down the nameless highway, and although no cars were in sight, we rode life together with God.

 

Just write.

Rambo and I were trying to plan of a way to help Karina when a large truck pulled to the front of the dilapitated house. 

 

Karina came out with one of her twin babies. "This is Boris," she said, introducing the cuddly baby boy to me and Rambo.

 

Rambo jumped from the floor and ran to the back room, behind the house. I knew it was about the bicycle ride to this house.

 

The man inside the truck came out with a shotgun slung around his shoulder, and walked to the broken front door.

 

"Is this your house?" the man asked me, wiping his forehead, because it was nearing the end of summer and the sun was still out.

 

"Yes, it's mine and my sisters," I told him. 

 

"I saw a black boy riding his bicycle. I wanted to know if it was licensed and if he had permission to ride," the man said. His dark hair and curly beard over his face made him looked like the brunt of man. He sniffed and walked into the room, as I stepped back and Karina swayed the baby to sleep.

 

"He's probably just around the block and not inside this house," I replied.

 

"Someone reported him riding fast and you were on a longboard," he said. He leaned with his elbow to the wall, and his right leg swung over to the left, stretching his hip. "Just need to check his license, is all."

 

"Well, I have no clue, and it was just me and her here," I told him.

 

He walked towards me and sniffed my face, "Black Irish, written all over you," he said. "Why does your sister look like that?"

 

"We have different fathers," I told him. I stepped back again, almost reaching the other room.

 

"Want to hold my cousin?" Karina asked him. She handed Boris to the man, and he almost drueled from the soft and gentle whimper of Boris in his large muscular hold. "He's pure."

 

The man cuddled Boris and smiled, and said, "Goo goo ga ga, sweet baby." He swayed Boris side to side, and Karina reached for Boris and took him from the large bearded monster. "Oh, that felt surreal. I just about melted."

 

"He's a newborn, two weeks," I told him. 

 

The man looked up to the ceiling and I could tell he felt euphoric from the sweetness and gentleness of Boris inside his arm. 

"Never felt fuzzy like this before," he said, holding his hands to his heart. "Sweet angel!"

 

"I think that calls for a celebration, at another place somewhere," I hinted.

 

"Oh...my sweet," he held his palms together and covered his face. "Yes, I never touched a baby before. I never knew."

 

I smiled and looked to Karina and she went to the other room, still swaying Boris in her arms. "I think we have to be quiet now, because the baby will go to sleep."

 

"Oh, inhale," the man said, breathing into his lungs. "So you listen, the bicycle is outside, and the boy is not here, but I'm going to let go, and assume he has a license. If he doesn't, I'm going to find him and put him in jail."

 

"I will make sure he has his license with him," I replied.

 

The man stomped outside in his leather boots and his shotgun and left the house in his large truck. I closed the broken door, and looked to the other room where Karina sat near a sofa where the babies laid asleep. I took Karina's hand and we walked to the front room and I sat her down on the floor. "We have to stay outside. Let the babies sleep for a while," I told her.

 

I took my shoulder bag and took out my hairbrush, and sat Karina down in front of me. I brushed Karina's hair as we watched the front door, in case the man in the large truck would be back. We sat for an hour, just brushing her silky black hair.

 

"Is Rambo okay?" she asked me.

 

"He will tend to your wound later," I said. 

 

"Is it safe now?" I heard Rambo asked. Karina stood up, and ran to him and hugged his flat stomach. "It's okay. We will be okay," Rambo said. 

 

Just write.

Forgive us, Father, for the sins of my ancestors

Restore unto us a life fulfilling in joy and mercy

 
Forgive us for each sin we carry and free us from our past

Make us vessels of grace as we tread onto the future

 
Forgive us, Father, for You are our fortress and deliverer

I call unto You, Lord, as my shield and my salvation.

The deaths of the innocent marked the new century

As we now face snares of death all over the world.

 
Forgive us, Father, and free us of the burden of deaths

Lead the poor and weary to a path of love and providence

 
Forgive us, Father, and heal all wounds to restoration

Diffuse all upheavals and make peace amongst all hate

Forgive us, Father, as we face torrents of destructions

Let not the snares of death overtake us, instead defend us

 
I cry to You, Lord, in fear and trembling

But Your peace covers me all of my days

 
Forgive us, Father, and keep us from unrighteousness

Your ways are blameless, therefore teach us, Lord.

 
Forgive us, Father, according to our deeds and humility

Only through You, will we change our ways

 
Forgive us, Father, as my enemies pursue me,

Strengthen me and uphold me, Lord, and sustain me.

 
Millions fall as adversaries overtook the nation

But with You, Father, we are forgiven and freed

Rescue us, Father, for violent men overtook me,

But, You saved me from my enemies and I am exalted.

 
Rescue us, Father, for our children are in sorrows

Do not let our wrongdoings scar our future generations.

 
Rescue us, Father, as fire and fury blaze to dark clouds

Bring us rain to wash away our sins, and raise a canopy over us

 
Rescue us, Father, and lead us to a strong foundation of truth

Do not let the blasphemous overtake us and our nations

 
Heal us, Father, and reach us through Your holy spirit

Bring us to triumph and rescue us, forever more.

 
God Bless. Love, Diana Kurniawan.